Catch the Fire

In the poem “Catch the Fire” by Sonia Sanchez, Sonia said “ Sometimes I wonder: What to say to you now. In the soft afternoon air as you hold us all in a single death? I say—Where is your fire? I say—Where is your fire? You got to find it and pass it on.” From a young age, I always knew what my fire was. I knew that I possessed a purpose that transcended those of my peers. My ability to create meaningful art in various forms could allow me to reach and uplift so many people in my community and those alike. Growing up, I explored my voice as an artist through community theatre, dance ensembles, art classes, photoshoots, and writing. As I encompass year 20 of my life, my voice is becoming more sophisticated and I feel a need of service to my community to share it. In March of 2020, the global pandemic formally known as the Coronavirus locked me in the house for six months. Over these six months, I was forced to define who I was an individual and artist especially the connections and separation between them both. Through tears, writing, laughter, and thought, I developed a seven chapter project that would be broken up over the span of seven months. This project is entitled “SELF/Warfare”. SELF/Warfare explores the makings of my being: what fuels me, motivates me, censors me, and uplifts me.



Each chapter would illustrate a specific part of my being that works daily to influence who I am. I’m producing and demonstrating these wells of my being are through original poetry, fashion-forward visuals, and handmade garments from myself and other black-owned companies. Starting this project straight out of a pandemic was extremely challenging because I had big dreams and expectations of myself with little to no money. I tried getting two jobs but, that was short lived because I couldn’t maintain my desired academic-standing and balance two jobs and a demanding personal project. So, I kept one of the jobs and made due with what I could. Chapter One explored what SELF/Worth meant to me and how it’s not based on what others think of you or the things you have (or haven’t) accomplished. It comes from within. The fashion forward concept I meshed with this self-well was “Being consumed by the King Xerxes”. Xerxes is illustrated as the King of Gold. So, I decided to hand paint my entire body gold and dye my hair dark golden. I was able to borrow a gold face chain from my friend but when it came to the pants, I had to get creative.



After paying for all the paint, hair dye, photographer, and studio time, I had little to no money left in my account and I still had to make it to my next paycheck. After gathering every last quarter in my drawers, room, and car, I took them all and turned them into the Coinstar machine. After getting my ticket, I redeemed it for the cash and went to the fabric store and bought two yards of gold sequin fabric. I had hand-sewed a few small things before but I honestly had no clue what I was doing. With the guidance of a friend, I cut and sewed the pants for my first visual. Upon completion of the shoot, I sat in my car and cried for thirty minutes. I was more than pleased with the outcome but I was more so amazed at I how I was able to complete something that I had felt so much anxiety about. Now, I’m on Chapter Four which is SELF/Forgiveness and I’m taking a different take on the popular tale of Adam and Eve. Instead of becoming the person, I’m becoming the snake and demonstrating temptation. I could’ve bought a snake costume offline but the quality ones are too expensive. So, I did like I’ve done before and hand-made everything that I needed.

I don’t desire to be a costume effects designer but, I sometimes am amazed at what I’ve accomplished with less. While on the verge of being jobless and trying to save for an apartment. I’m not sure how I will pay for all these things that I want to get done while maintaining my ever-changing lifestyle. However, I do know something for sure. I have never felt more purposeful and happy in my life since beginning this project. This project has shown me that I am a force to be reckoned with and one way or another, I will share my art with the world. For every brown boy and girl who feels like they don’t have access to their wildest dreams, I will be an example of divine greatness. With this award, I will no longer have to worry about the cents or wonder if I will have to sacrifice dinner tonight in order to get the last few items for my chapters. With this award, I will be able to service my community and those alike by showing my organic self, hoping they can discover something new about themselves. With this award, I will still create with both hands. I just will have an unwavering confidence that I will never have to sacrifice my art or suppress my voice, again. If you were to ask me what my fire is, I would say you. Being alive, present, and able to impact someone else is my fire. I just choose to do it in a way that pushes myself as a man and creative. What’s your fire?