Bye Bye 2024

2024 was the year I broke up with the love of my life. It was near the end of February. One of my best friends said it was the best birthday present he ever had because he hated my ex-partner with a passion because of the way I was treated. I felt like I had lost a big part of myself because the breakup was painful, but at the same time, we saw it coming a long time ago. I was just too stubborn to admit it. The red flags were there, but I didn't want to look up.

Then I fell for a friend, only for him to end up just like my ex. Every time I saw that friend, I saw my ex in him. Both are big gamers (they don't work) who love music, football and chips. Both had the same favourite Pokemon and they shared a hate for cheese. They both also hurt me... a lot. All that hurt and anger inspired me to write some dark and sad content. I let everything crash down on me. It made me wonder if I was the one being manipulative or just their awful gaslighting. My friends assured me it was the latter.

On top of that a close friend died of cancer, and I was told before his death he had hallucinations and thought I was there with him. He's buried with his father. I fell out with two friends that I had known since college and school. They used to say I was a sister to them, but I had simply had enough of everyone's crap.

I still go to the gym a lot and I keep myself busy. I found myself feeling exhausted, but I continued. I was told to go on this crazy fasting regime that my real friends said was dangerous and I passed out at work and had to stop it. This year has been exhausting. But now we are in 2025, I can say that I am glad that it is over and that I made it to the other side.

It seemed I wasn't the only one who had a tough time this year. I saw lots of people saying the same thing I was thinking. And I have a feeling that 2025 will be much better than last year because of everything that I went through. The damage these dickhead exes and so-called-friends had done to me will take a long time to recover from.

Watch what you say. Don't talk about it. Just pretend it never happened. Just forget it. Move on! You can't cope with life.

As a victim of abuse and trauma, it angers me when people say this. People try to tell me how I am feeling, but only I know how I am truly feeling. They don't realise that they are taking away our voices and rights by doing this. They are only enabling it to happen and that's why people don't report it.

I also had some good times too. I've been to Disneyland Paris, and Paris, Paris. Portugal was amazing and so was Prague. The writing groups I've been to has been a great support network. I also made some new friends in other groups that I am in. So that's nice as well.

I feel relaxed writing this. I'm glad I had video calls with my friends. There are good people out there. I don't need to be scared of those people anymore. I don't owe anyone an explanation. I know what I went through and those ex-abusers and traitors will do everything they can to paint me as a demonic witch. Thankfully, smart people will know that I'm not.