A Rare Kind of Leader: Lessons from My First Years in IT

A Rare Kind of Leader: Lessons from My First Years in IT

From feeling unheard to finding empathy — my journey as a newcomer and the manager who made a difference.

It’s been two years since I started working in the IT industry. And during this time, I’ve taken care of everything myself—my work, food, expenses, and well-being. It’s been a big shift into independence. As someone new to this world, I’ve had my fair share of learning, both technically and emotionally.

Along the way, I’ve interacted with people across different age groups—some around my age, some slightly older, and others much older who often treated me like a kid. I’ve even had peers who were younger than me. And honestly, every interaction has been a mix of good and bad. Some people were there when I was transitioning—supportive in their own ways. But even when helping, there was often an unspoken superiority in how they treated me, as if being empathetic came with an ego. And some younger colleagues, who hadn't even experienced much yet, lacked basic kindness or empathy. That surprised me.

But what affected me most was my experience with managers. Most of the ones I’ve worked under didn’t really embody what a good leader should be. Some were purely task-driven—focused on control, not connection. A few didn’t care about team morale or individual challenges. Some even dismissed my concerns when I tried to suggest long-term improvements. They didn’t want me to speak up or question things—even when it was meant to help.

And yes, at times, I felt taken for granted. I was a junior, and I saw my work—my ideas and efforts—being picked up and used by others without even informing me, let alone giving credit. That hit hard. I didn’t know how to respond then, but it taught me a lot about how leadership shouldn’t be.

There were days I genuinely thought, "I don’t want to work under someone like this ever again."

But then came one person—one manager—who completely changed that narrative for me.

He had over 17 years of experience, yet he was incredibly grounded. He never acted like he was above anyone. In fact, I never even felt like I was speaking to a manager. He was kind, open, and most importantly—empathetic. Whether you were new or experienced, he gave you time. He listened without judgment. He created a space where people could speak honestly, without fear of being dismissed or belittled.

For someone like me, new to the industry, that meant everything.

Whenever I had doubts or questions, I went to him without hesitation. He never made me feel inferior. I always came back with clarity—not just about work, but about how I wanted to grow as a professional. Working with him gave me hope.

But now, he’s leaving the organization for better opportunities. And while I’m genuinely happy for him, it’s hard to ignore how deeply this change is affecting me. I usually adapt to change easily, but this one is different. Maybe because people like him are rare. Maybe because his empathy made this chaotic world of deadlines and tasks feel human.

I’m incredibly grateful to have met someone like him—a true inspiration. He showed me what real leadership looks like. And one thing I know for sure is that when I become a leader someday, I want to stay empathetic, just like he was. No matter how experienced I become or what position I hold, I never want to make someone feel unseen or unheard the way I once felt.

Cheers to all those rare individuals in the world who choose kindness over ego, who listen even when they don’t have to, and who show that leadership isn’t about power—it’s about people.

Here’s to meeting more such people in the future—and maybe becoming one myself.