A 15 year boy's dream.

Okay, my first board exam experience in INDIA, was not soo good as everyone expects.

My exam timetable:

Tamil

English

Science

Social

Math

I actually worked so hard for my tamil exam, put in a lot of efforts and got high expectations in return (as marks) and a lot of hope that I will do the other exams good too. Then i stepped in to the ENGLISH. Did English pave path for me to score? It's a straight NO. I never expected the questions to be so hard that i felt so confusing. I wouldn't blame the literature part of it, the grammar and reading comprehension part were too high of standards that we could not imagine a 100 from the paper. I felt so demotivated after that exam :(

But it does not end here. Then I straight went to my science exam hard core preparation. I actually do science and math well. So i started building up a lot hope and put all my seconds in writing the exam. It went too smooth to be a good exam. I felt good after finishing the paper. But that feeling left me after asking two answers from my friends who were discussing die heartedly. I couldn't just take it. I felt so down. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything. Tears dripped from my eyes. As if my eyes was a tap and neck was a bucket, the tears flowed as a river. It happene, when i was in the bus. Pov you: Wait bus?. Yup my school made me come to the school at 8 a.m for the 10:30 a.m exam, we together (students and teachers) prayed to the god(all religious god's) and then stepped into our school bus. It couldn't be called a van, due to its size and i am just so practiced calling it my school bus. Though i have a pick and drop by my family and i never used the bus hehe. Okay, the bus usually takes off and lands in the exam centre. Every school is turned into an exam centre. Even my school was an exam centre for other students. Okay now coming back to the science exam feel, i just think i lost 15 marks (approximately). So i would score a 85 of hundred. Okay to the facts, it was not the worst score. Nor it cannot be called the best. I just couldn't believe that i, who is good at science, had struggled to get 85 marks. It brought in fear inside me as i choose science as the field where i am going to spend my rest of the schooling. When i told this to my parents, they were fine initially. But in a sudden upheaval, my father started to shout on me. He was blaming me for not studying and using phone. I tried to explain him that i struggled in writing the paper and not knowing the concepts. I knew all the concepts in my book. But i didn't apply them properly, hence i lost those marks. But my father didn't listen me. He was like "You better give your phone after your vacation, or i wouldn't mind breaking it by a sweep throw". It broke me more. No one understood my feelings until my mother came into the chat. She tried to motivate me. It worked too. But at the end when i started showing my vanmam against dad, she stood on his side and betrayer me. It didn't hurt a lot 'cause it's the same happening everytime. It's just that i am kid and they are adult, that everything is say must have flaws in it. It doesn't mean anything like that. (They were a bit autocratic). But whatever it is, i love my family. Then i had a 10 days leave for my ssc exam. Almost everything i read in the first few days vanished from my head after 5 days. (It's okay). We have to work hard to achieve something we actually deserve. So i worded hard. Ssc didn't go as expected. It was a whole different story on another level. But my thumbs go numb if i write it completely. So just take it as 'it didn't go well'. Though my teacher had a lot of hope on me for it. She wanted a 100 from me. I don't know what's gonna happen with it. Next comes our captain math. I accept that i chose standard math, but that dosent mean it has to be hard! It can be medium level atleast? I was so mad at the paper that i wanted to tear, burn, drown, burry and torcher it. But that won't help me get full marks. It will do nothing to my FULL MARK DREAM. So its not about giving up on getting full mark, it is also about gaining the knowledge that a average student doesn't need full mark to satisfy himself or his family or his friends. He just needs love and care and trust to live happily throughout his life. To the kind parents: He ain't going to beg in the paves of the roads. He will pick up. Just believe him. Let him express himself. Let him tell everything he wants to tell you. Even if he is wrong, don't try to correct him by words. Instead let him feel it. Your son/daughter is going to make it. 🔥. To all the fellow bro's and sisters: Just don't mind anything else than being happy. Your board marks just a peice of garbage. It ain't gonna help you to live happily. Even if u get 500, you can do nothing other than flex. It's better sometimes not to flex and stay calm and happy. Do what you can and what you will. Don't bother about anything else. A fifteen year old boy/girl must dream to be happy, not how to get more stressed by thinking of all shits happening around you. Have fun guys, love you all!! Thank you for reading this small boys story <33.