9 Reasons You are Failing in Love

Love is a mystery that everyone wants to experience in their lifetime. Self love is amazing but getting love and attention from another human is exquisite. However, humans are emotional beings and everyone interprets love in different ways. You never truly love if you don’t fail at it sometimes.

Here are some reasons you fail in love. Try your possible best to avoid them.

1. Leaping before you look

Remember the proverb that says ‘ look before you leap’. Most of us fail to understand that you don’t have to rush into a relationship before knowing your partner. You have to thoroughly evaluate the person irrespective of the pressure for a relationship. Know the person and build a friendship- relationship with that person. Take your time to know what this person you are madly in love with is all about. Their principle, lifestyle, philosophy of life, background, visions, goals etc. Check your level of compatibility with this person before entering a relationship with them. Think over it and consciously deliberate on what could come out of the union. Never enter a relationship hastily, give it a forethought and pray about it too. Do not be impulsive in matters that could cost you your happiness.

2. You are a perfectionist

There is no one that is perfect. ‘To err is human’ and we are prone to make mistakes by default. If you want a partner who fits into all your criterion you may never have one. We all have areas of strength and weaknesses. Even in our physical looks and appearance there are some lapses here and there. You must pardon some imperfections for a perfect union to be born.

3. Lack of self worth

As far as love is concerned it’s not an umbrella to hide under but a platform for self expression and realization. You are worth it and valuable. You are not disadvantaged. You deserve all the love and attention you receive. Feel good about yourself. Love yourself. Find your happy and embrace your truth. If you lack self worth your partner would notice and if they lack the ability to help you build your self esteem and value they might just walk away. For example, you constantly remind your partner that you are ugly. Even if they think otherwise one day they’d definitely be convinced that you are and nobody wants to be seen with an ugly partner. The way people think of you is a reflection of what you think about yourself.

4. Nagging

Every misunderstanding could be settled amicably and with a great ounce of maturity. Continually complaining about a problem or finding fault in your partner’s actions is the wrong approach to building a healthy relationship. True love is patient. Talk to your partner amicably and ask them the reasons for their actions in a polite manner. Using harsh words or abusive slangs isn’t going to bring a positive resolution. Healthy dialogues and personal evaluations could birth more positive results. Everybody wants to feel like they are doing the right thing and they are enough. Apply wisdom always.

5. Lack of patience

Patience is a virtue we must all imbibe in relationships because we are not the same. All fingers are not equal. As much as we have expectations for our relationship and our partner’s growth we have to add patience to the mix. What could be feasible for others might not be so in our partner’s life. With faith and perseverance we should encourage them till they are at their very best.

6. Comparison

Nothing kills a relationship faster than comparison.A guava tree and a tomato plant is not the same even if they both have seeds in their fruits. Don’t compare your partner to your ex, friend,sister etc it will hurt their ego and it goes a long way to say they are not enough and you are not content with them.

7. Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is like a wound that would never heal. The pain and the trauma that comes with whatever transpired between you and your partner would always keep coming back. If we must forge ahead in our relationship we must learn to let go. Let go of the hurts, the past and the errors of your partner. Give them the benefit of the doubt and hope for the better.

8. Emotional Unavailability

One of the primary reasons for a relationship is companionship. It is that friendly relationship that requires fellowship, affection and love. If you have an emotionally unavailable partner the reasons for the relationship has been defiled. Communication is one of the strongest fiber that holds a relationship together. If you don’t learn how to communicate and truly care for you partner that the relationship would come to a close in no distant time.

9. Selfishness

Love involves receiving and giving. It’s goes both ways i.e both parties actively involved in making it work. It’s not one partner’s job. Many people fail in relationship because they feel it should always be about them. The world does not revolve around you and your relationship too. You have to reciprocate every energy of love given to you and even when it’s doesn’t come back in an equal form you should appreciate it.