Protecting Kids in Divorce: Expert Tips with Shannon Sorensen

Divorce is a challenging experience, not only for the couple going through it but also for the children caught in the middle. When parents decide to part ways, emotions run high, and making decisions can feel overwhelming. However, there’s one aspect that should always remain a priority—protecting the well-being of the children. In this article, we’ll explore expert tips from family law attorney and Guardian ad Litem (GAL) Shannon Sorensen on how to ensure a child-centered approach during divorce.

Shannon Sorensen has years of experience as a Guardian ad Litem, advocating for children in divorce proceedings and custody disputes. Her insight provides a roadmap for parents navigating these tough decisions while keeping their kids’ best interests at heart. Whether you're a parent currently facing a divorce or someone working with families, these expert tips will help you understand how to prioritize your children's emotional and psychological health during this transition.

What Is a Child-Centered Divorce?

A child-centered divorce is one that places the children’s needs, well-being, and stability at the forefront of all decisions. This approach emphasizes minimizing the emotional and psychological impact of divorce on children, ensuring they feel loved, supported, and secure throughout the process.

Shannon Sorensen stresses that, while divorce is painful, it doesn’t have to be devastating for the kids. With careful planning, open communication, and a strong focus on the children’s best interests, parents can protect their kids from many of the potential negative effects of divorce.

Let’s dive into some of the key strategies for creating a child-centered divorce:

1. Understanding the Role of a Guardian ad Litem

In some divorce cases, particularly those involving custody disputes, the court may appoint a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). This legal advocate’s primary role is to represent the children’s best interests. Shannon Sorensen explains that a GAL conducts thorough investigations, including speaking with the children, parents, and other important figures in the child’s life, to make recommendations to the court about custody arrangements and other important decisions.

“Guardians ad Litem are there to make sure the child's voice is heard, even when they are too young to advocate for themselves,” Sorensen says. They ensure that all factors impacting the child’s well-being—such as emotional bonds, the child’s preferences (if old enough), and the parents' ability to provide a stable environment—are considered in court decisions.

Parents should view the GAL as a neutral party focused solely on the child’s needs. Working cooperatively with the GAL and being transparent about your parenting goals can ultimately lead to better outcomes for the child.

2. Creating a Child-Centered Custody Agreement

One of the most significant aspects of any divorce involving children is the custody agreement. Shannon Sorensen emphasizes that this agreement should be carefully tailored to fit the specific needs of the children, rather than being driven by what’s most convenient for the parents.

Sorensen advises parents to focus on stability and continuity for the children when crafting custody arrangements. Maintaining consistent routines, such as school, extracurricular activities, and regular contact with both parents, helps provide the structure that kids need during this time of upheaval.

“Children thrive on routine, and a well-thought-out custody agreement can help them adjust more smoothly to the changes,” Sorensen says. “Whenever possible, parents should work together to create a schedule that keeps the child’s life as predictable as possible.”

She also highlights the importance of factoring in the child’s needs as they grow and evolve. What works well for a 5-year-old may not be suitable for a teenager. A flexible custody agreement that can be adjusted as the child’s needs change can help prevent future conflicts between parents.

3. Minimizing Emotional Impact on Children

One of the hardest parts of a divorce for children is dealing with the emotional fallout. They may experience feelings of confusion, sadness, anger, or guilt. As Shannon Sorensen notes, children often internalize the separation and believe they are somehow to blame for their parents’ split. This can have lasting effects on their emotional and psychological development if not addressed properly.

Sorensen encourages parents to be proactive in minimizing this emotional impact by:

• Reassuring the children that the divorce is not their fault. Be clear that the decision to divorce is between the parents and that it has nothing to do with the child’s behavior or actions.
• Providing a safe space for the children to express their feelings. Encourage open communication, letting them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Whether through talking, drawing, or writing, children need outlets to process their emotions.
• Avoiding placing children in the middle of conflict. “Parents should never use their kids as messengers or force them to take sides,” Sorensen advises. Keep any disagreements with your ex-partner away from the children to protect them from the emotional strain of being caught in the middle.

In addition, seeking professional support, such as counseling or therapy, can be a valuable resource for both the children and parents. A trained therapist can help children process their feelings in a healthy way and give parents strategies for supporting their emotional well-being during the divorce.

4. Effective Communication Between Co-Parents

Divorce ends a marital relationship, but it doesn’t end the co-parenting relationship. As Shannon Sorensen points out, effective communication between co-parents is essential to maintaining a child-centered focus. Co-parents need to be able to discuss important matters, such as school, medical care, and extracurricular activities, without letting personal conflicts get in the way.

Sorensen recommends keeping communication clear, respectful, and focused on the child’s needs. Tools like co-parenting apps or regular scheduled check-ins can help keep conversations organized and prevent misunderstandings.

“When parents can put aside their differences and work together for the sake of their children, it creates a much healthier environment for the kids,” Sorensen says.

Additionally, establishing clear boundaries can prevent unnecessary conflicts. Co-parenting should be about collaboration, not control. By respecting each other’s parenting styles (as long as they are safe and appropriate), co-parents can create a more harmonious dynamic that benefits the children.

5. Learning from Real-Life Examples of Child-Focused Divorces

In her work as a Guardian ad Litem, Shannon Sorensen has seen countless examples of how a child-centered approach to divorce can lead to positive outcomes for families. She shares stories of parents who were able to put aside their differences to create custody arrangements that allowed their children to thrive, even after the divorce.

One example involved parents who worked together to ensure that their child could continue attending the same school, despite living in different cities. By coordinating their schedules and committing to long commutes, they provided their child with stability and continuity, even though their own lives had changed dramatically.

“Success in a child-centered divorce isn’t about the parents winning or getting everything they want,” Sorensen explains. “It’s about making sure the child feels secure, loved, and supported through the process.”

Conclusion

Divorce is never easy, but with the right approach, it doesn’t have to be harmful to children. By prioritizing their emotional and psychological well-being, parents can help their kids navigate this difficult transition with resilience and grace. With Shannon Sorensen’s expert advice on creating child-centered custody agreements, minimizing emotional impact, and maintaining healthy co-parenting communication, families can emerge from divorce stronger and more connected.

Remember, the key to a successful child-centered divorce is keeping your children’s best interests at the heart of every decision. When parents can work together to protect their kids, even in the face of separation, everyone can move forward with hope for a brighter future.