When Roger McSnuffles Met Jeeves

Roger McSnuffles was what you’d call a classic "overnight millionaire"—except his millions weren’t quite overnight, more like a really fast week of unexpected luck. He made his fortune selling... well, let’s just say specialized self-cleaning litter boxes for cats. Nobody else dared, but Roger did—and cats everywhere rejoiced.

Despite his humble beginnings—raised in a small trailer behind a bingo hall—Roger’s wife, Clementine, insisted on living the high life. Not just high life, but the high life. She wanted chandeliers, ballroom dances, French-sounding accents, and the kind of aristocratic sophistication you only see in old movies or on questionable daytime TV.

So, when Clementine hired Jeeves — a stern, impeccably dressed man with a monocle (because why not?), who claimed to have been the personal valet to a mysterious duke of Blatherskite for 32 years — the McSnuffles household was about to get turned upside down.

First, Jeeves demanded Roger get rid of his signature bushy mustache. “A gentleman without a proper lip line is like a cat without whiskers,” Jeeves declared, and Roger, stunned but compliant, shaved it off. Next, Roger had to swap his beloved sweatpants and old rock band t-shirt for tuxedos every evening. Dinner no longer meant pizza rolls and beer; it was now a parade of French delicacies with names nobody could pronounce — escargots, pâté, and something called foie gras that Roger refused to try because it “looked like something that crawled out of a swamp.”

Meanwhile, Clementine was forced into daily yoga and a diet of kale smoothies and whatever “detox elixirs” Jeeves concocted. “But I like pie!” she wailed on day three. “Pie is the aristocrat’s delight!” Jeeves snapped, unamused.

In the midst of all this, their daughter Tabitha, a firecracker with flaming red hair and a penchant for sarcasm, had fallen head over heels for Max Bentley — the McSnuffles’ charismatic personal assistant and former barista. Max, it turns out, wasn’t just a barista. He was secretly an MIT-educated robotics engineer moonlighting in hospitality to fund his side projects. Tabitha was thrilled. Clementine, however, had her own matchmaking plans.

Clementine preferred Harold Bumble — a well-meaning but painfully clueless insurance salesman whose uncle happened to be the local mayor. Marrying Harold meant access to city contracts and a guaranteed future of “respectable” influence. Unfortunately, Harold’s idea of romance was sending Tabitha corny greeting cards signed “Your #1 Number Cruncher.”

Things escalated when Jeeves, trying to modernize Roger’s image, advised him to pursue a fling with Luna LaRue, a sultry lounge singer at the “Velvet Vortex,” a dive bar notorious for karaoke nights and questionable cocktails. Roger agreed to a date but bailed last minute, distracted by a new shipment of robotic litter boxes.

Luna, feeling snubbed and dramatic, crashed the McSnuffles’ weekend soirée — where Clementine was attempting to impress Mayor Bumble with a speech about "sophistication in suburban living." Luna’s unexpected arrival — dressed in sequins, with a booming rendition of “I Will Survive” — caused a scandal of epic proportions.

Roger’s tuxedo button popped off mid-cough. Mayor Bumble’s toupee flew off in surprise. Clementine fainted into her kale smoothie.

Meanwhile, Tabitha, refusing to be a pawn in her mother’s game, staged a covert engineering demo in the garage — unveiling Max’s latest invention: a robotic butler programmed to mimic Jeeves but with a sense of humor and zero tolerance for kale.

The robotic butler, named Jeev3s, quickly outshone the real Jeeves by making gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and delivering scathing yet witty remarks on Roger’s wardrobe choices.

By the end of the night, the McSnuffles household was irrevocably changed. Roger decided the tuxedos were overrated but kept the robotic butler (who insisted on calling him “Sir Roger”). Clementine begrudgingly admitted kale wasn’t the worst, especially when Jeev3s turned it into chips. Tabitha got Max, Harold Bumble found a new hobby in beekeeping (far from the mayor’s office), and Luna LaRue got a standing invitation to perform — on the condition she tone down the karaoke theatrics.

As for Jeeves, the original butler, he quietly packed his monocle and departed, muttering something about "lost nobility" and "robots stealing the show."

Moral of the story? Sometimes the high life finds you, even if it’s wearing sweatpants and wielding a robotic butler.