Uncle Hasan the Elder – Part 8: “Uncle Hasan and the Great Car Negotiation”

It all began one casual dinner at a family gathering, a perfect setting for what seemed like an innocent conversation... until it turned into a full-blown tactical war.

You see, Auntie and their son had been plotting. For weeks, they’d been dropping hints, sighs, and side-eyes toward Uncle Hasan’s ancient car. The goal? Convince him it was finally time to buy a new one.

Now, anyone who knows Uncle Hasan knows he’s not the kind of man you just convince. He believes in squeezing the value out of everything, especially vehicles. “Why would I buy a new car?” he once said. “This one still honks, drives, and the windows roll down—eventually.”

But Auntie had a plan. “We’ll bring it up at the dinner party,” she said to her son. “He won’t get angry in front of people.” Ha. Sweet summer child.

So, there we were, enjoying dinner, when the topic came up casually, like a landmine dressed as a salad. “Hasan,” Auntie said sweetly, “maybe it’s time we considered getting a new car?”

Uncle Hasan looked up from his plate, froze for half a second, then did something none of us expected.

He said, “You know what? You might be right.” Then he stood up, said he had to check something with the neighbor, and left the room.

Five minutes later, he returned calm, smiling, and acting like nothing had happened.

Again, Auntie nudged the conversation. “So... the car?”

Uncle Hasan, with Oscar-worthy sincerity, said, “Actually, not a bad idea. I’ve been thinking, tomorrow, I’ll head to the office and start the paperwork for a car loan. And honey, you could help too. Maybe sell a few of your gold bracelets? That could cover the down payment.”

Auntie blinked. He wasn’t done.

“I mean, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t put my family first? I’ll give up things too. Like that family trip next month—we don’t need a vacation when we’re making a long-term investment, right?”

Auntie’s eyes twitched slightly. The vacation?

“Oh,” he added, turning to his wife, “and please ask your brother if he can be the loan guarantor. The bank prefers family members.”

You could almost see the regret forming on her face. Within minutes, the tables had turned:

- Now she had to sell her gold.

- Her brother had to sign a loan.

- And the vacation she was excited about? Poof—collateral damage.

In what could only be described as an elegant counter-ambush, Auntie finally said, “Well... maybe we don’t have to rush. We can wait a bit and see how things go.”

Uncle Hasan smiled like a chess grandmaster after a seven-move checkmate.

“You sure? I thought it was such a great idea,” he said, mock-disappointed.

That night, we all laughed—hard. How he turned a planned confrontation into a strategic retreat is something only he could pull off.

Inspired by that genius, I used the same method myself.

A few months later, my wife told me she wanted to go back to school for her master’s degree. My first instinct was to say, “Now? Can we even afford that tuition?”

But then I paused... and heard Uncle Hasan’s voice in my head.

Instead, I said, “That’s a great idea! Let’s talk about it. Maybe we can figure out a plan. I’ll look into the budget, and maybe you can see if a government scholarship or a night school would work? You deserve the best. Just let me know when you’ve found a few options.”

Her eyes softened. “You know... no need to rush. Maybe I’ll apply next year. I’ll try for a public university.”

Victory. Without conflict.

Thank you, Uncle Hasan—proof that with the right strategy, you can win even when you're outnumbered, outvoted, and out-budgeted.