TEST DRIVE

THERE WAS ONLY ONE RULE... DON'T OPEN THE DOOR. There was a nagging thought in the back of my mind somewhere past the left brain, and a definite weight on the right; but It was the pertinent issue at hand. He pushed his arm forward to leave the building with the keys handed him by the service agent. A nod and glinted eye from the man across the room gave him courage to push one leg in the same direction and he was gone. Back inside the RV, the group was waiting for him to return with a price quote. He handed it over to the man in the wheelchair. He also handed him the keys. As he stepped toward the toilet room he heard the engine of the motorhome start. As it did, the doors locked... a mechanism designed for safety of the inhabitants. Seconds later the RV was moving, rolling toward the voyage of a test drive. Prostate issues kept him moving and darned if he couldn't remember what the man had said when he dropped the key into his hand. Whichever the word, Sammy, the man in the wheelchair, could handle his own needs and Veteran Affairs was giving him the money to buy this thing if they liked it. From the toilet room window he could see trees and traffic whizzing past. His bladder was not answering the immediacy of his own needs. Sammy and George could handle the drive around the cloverleaf entry and exit on the highway, and he hoped not to miss the view and excitement of the dashboard panel options. The RV sped up snatching him from the toilet seat causing him the throw his arms up to brace against a fall. As he did he smeared a small bit of feces and stood to wipe it off the wall. Minutes later he exited the room staggering toward the other three men near the front end. "Hey man, this thing is what we need! Ya know... there's thatthing my guy got goin on downstate somewhere..." He fumbled through his pockets for a note, "...here it is. It's a gig to last about a month or so." The faces looking back at him were reassuring enough to go on; "There's $25 thousand or so for the roles of cameo and a stand-in." "That's each man. No lines. The stand-in gets some movement role... I can't... I don't remember what they said but this is where we got to go for those to sign on. They just got to get a look at ya to decide if ya look like what they need.. youknow how that works. Sammy. that chair is your ticket in." Sammy's head slipped a bit as he struggled to be a part of the group and watch the road." Veteran Affairs was known to adapt vehicles for disabled veterans... as needed. This test drive would give him an idea of how to fill out his form.

Somewhere down the highway the guys stopped for a bite. The route signs had changed but they were still on a straight road. George spoke up, "Ya know, I bet we could get those forms signed and get back here before nightfall close of that store we left. The tank is full and we'd get that important move done on time. Yeh, I think we should get it done. Go sign on. We get paid when Sammy get's this truck we can pay our share and ..." "Wait man! This is my truck. It get adjusted and I'm gonna live in this thing. You just here for a ride. Sammy slurred his demands loudly but well enough to be understood. Late stage St. Vita's Dans crept in after his military term had ended. Over the years he'd deteriorated to riding a wheelchair and some balance problems begun to arise. He'd met the guys over several appoinments at Veterans Healthcare that left him in line waiting like tose three and all the others in the waiting room areas. They'd suggested he get fitted for mobilization with a van... but he didn't have a place to live. The program funding was based upon applicant's address. It was his idea to upgrade to a motorhome. With it, he could stop floating around home for friends, family members, shelters and storefronts. "I could get two knocks in one bite... benefit home and vehicle." He turned his entire focuse back toward the other vehicles along the road. George's selection of what they'd had for lunch was appreciated. Sammy's chair prevented him from exiting the doors, as they were, without being lifted out or lifted up into the unit. The idea had eveded him until now. This motorcoach toyhauler would pass the test for two benefits of having served in the military after high school ROTC program. It seemed like two lifetimes ago, but here he was, yet alive and thinking on his own. George had been in the military sometime earlier, he was an older guy who had served during Vietnam and the Phillipines adventure under Patton and returned home under General McArthur. He'd returned with a breathing problem and recently had a lung removed. His bout with agent orange was taking him under the hard way... a delayed effort being made for his country. Lucas, his friend and caregiver, returned home from Afghanistan needing mechanics... an arm, leg, pelvis pins and missing an eye all on one side. Percival... Percy, who was having a developing case of Alzheimers, was in the honors regiment down D.C. where he'd served as a White House Guard for over two tours in the Marines. They'd failed to admit him to a third term because of health risks with his prostate assumed to hve been derived while stationed at Camp LeJeune training base. Five... going on seven years had brought him this far and was now ammended by his dread forgetfulness of his. "We're going on down to that appointment and back man. We should make it in a... in a couple of hours or so." Sammy gestured for Lucus to take over driving and pulled the RV over. They hit the road after manipulating Sammy onto the bed in the rear and parking his wheelchair in the back end of the toyhauler. He could still drive but often became dizzy for the movement outside the front window; dizzy to a head swirling degree. "I'm gonna take a nap you guys... pass my meds outta the pouch of my chair." George spoke up, "I got this fellas. Take a load off! I'll get us there before the sun goes down... and there's the on ramp toward Mississippi." He didn't taken their driver licenses. He didn't say he needed to ride along. ered down the roadway he wondered to himself about the length of test drive they were supposed to have taken. The guy hadn't said much when he handed the keys to them. He had been talking to Percy who brought the key and the last bit of detail about the RV. He didn't mention any final needs for getting it fit by Veteran Affairs, but that would be done later. Percy yelled out, "Let's get this test ride on then!"

After an hour on the road Percy spoke up, "That address... the fella got this place the other day, last week or so. The place he got is gonna be some sort of movie base ... lemme see, the address" he fumbled in his pocket. George turned an ear toward Percy's voice, "Where we headed then? No one asked exactly man." Percy spoke up again, "Hol up.... hold up man! I got it...it says 2221 Tuscaloosa Drive... in err" Lucus looked up from a deck of cards he was dealing to himself, "Tuscaloosa Drive!?" He started to stand, "There ain't no..." George hit the brakes suddenly and swerved to the outer edge of the pavement. "Damn fumes... got dammed fumes ever where... how's a man suppose to! I can't breathe that crap." He slowed the vehicle a bit but not before dumping Sammy off the bed and dropping Lucus to his knees at midstance. "Some dummy is spilling ammonia or something. They got my throat burning and... " he began gasping, "I can't breathe." HIs eyes were watering and hands barely controlling the vehicle when Lucas stepped to his side. The two of them wrestled with the steering wheel until they managed to bring it to a stop. Lucus looked up the road to see a 16 wheeler flipped onto it's side and several other vehicles stopped at various angles along the roadway. Along the side of the road was a narrow strip of unpaved unguardrailed sideroad that topped a drop off to a gravel pit. He could see work trucks far below in the distance and through the dust their wheels kicked up as they drove their loads back and forth. "We barely missed going over the edge in this thing," he muttered to the other guys. "How far we gotta go now?" George struggled to breathe as his eyes widened from the fumes in the air outside the RV. Lucus Shrieked to the others, "He needs some air mannnn... George, that fumes is killin him! He needs some airrrr!" Percy dashed towards the door, "I got..." George sputtered out, "Don't open that door... don't open the damned door!" Percy presses at the handle just as Sammy pulls his voice together well enough and utters, "There's filter. Turn on the filter!" Lucus flips the switch on the air filter alongside the air conditioner and the air begins to thin of ammonia. He snatches at Percy's other arm to pull him back away from the door and returns to readusting George from the driver position where he has become feint from being overwhelmed by the fumes. "Sammy sputters, "Thanks you guys... I'm loving this truck we chose. Thanks for helping make up my mind," and struggles at getting up from the floor. Lucus motions for Percy to get a drink from the kitchen fridge as George gasps for air. The open airpipe on his throat is slightly reddened from the even but the paleness in his face is subsiding. Sammy sputters again, "That's a good vent." Percy reaches the fridge to find only warmish water left by the sales staff from various stages of showing the vehicle and hands one bottle to each of his friends. "This water's hot... the fridge is low quality?" Sammy slides up and onto a window seat along the side of the RV and sputters again, "What's going on out there?" he only now gets a look at their surroundings, "Where are we?" George pulls the note paper from the dashboard to read the address. "Hey ..." he coughs out instructions, "Hey.. somebody get the map on your phone. There's gotta be another route." Reading off the address given him by Mr. Cool, Lucus and Percy both get the map on their screens. "Four hundred more miles to Decatur?... to Decatur?" We are right at Decatur, Alabama... the job is in Decatur Mississippi! Is that wreck up ahead clearing yet? We gotta get movin if we gonna get there... Percy lunges for the steering wheel and driver's seat. We only got a hundred fourteen miles under us! He wrestles the wheel toward the outer edge of the roadway to turn around. The other guys yell at him to stop and point toward the bottom of the limestone pit barely visible from the height of the expressway. "What we gonna do man!?" Percy yells at the group, "We gotta get going or we wont get that paycheck!" A light and beeper begins to flash from beneath the driver's seat. Sammy gazes down into the gaping hole at the side of the road and makes an observation, "Ghatt's some hole on the highway gherr. We got goodt threads too... good threads on this here. I think I wanna..." Lucus cut him off short, "Man... we gotta get outta this snag. We gotta get away from this hole We gotta get this thing back to Nashville and we gotta get some money cause this is gonna look bad on us down in Mississippi on a test ride from... what's that dealer guy's name?" George coughs to clear his windpipe, "Did anybody get that guys card?" They each look at the other before shaking heads in agreement that they had not. Percy stands and goest the kitchen fridge again to find nothing there to eat. George slumps into the driver seat to look at the traffic ahead of them while Sammy and Lucus stare blankly into the stillness of the RV interior. No one speaks. Minutes pass into nearly half and hour before Sammy jerkily nods his head, "This is some smoovth rahd!

Some time later a police siren approaches their vehicle. Each of them stutter thru individually prepared alibis for the situation. Percy stands ready to admit the officers only to see the police car fly past them toward the overturned big rig. Several other emergency vehicles arrive within minutes and traffic is directed across the median to mix into traffice going the opposite direction. Percy, back at the driver's wheel, lowers the window for directions to Decatur... Decatur, Missippi. "We're gonna be in a big film coming up down there and we been delayed in this mess up now for a while. Can ya help us out?" The office looks up at him and looks the vehicle over asking for his registration. As he prepares to follow protocl for license and registration, the engine of the big rig sparks fire and throws a big blaze drawing all eyes and emergency responses to those vehicles still close by. The officer yells back at Percy, "Take the next exit and follow the cloverleaf around... get back on ahead of this messup about a half mile or so up the way. Stay on 65! By the way.... NICE RIDE HOLLYWOOD... noce ride!" He takes off running toward the fire again leaving them on their way.