Laugh Lines
50 One-Liners to Brighten Your Day and Tickle Your Funny Bone!
50 Positive One-Liner Jokes (Laugh Lines)
1. I told my computer I needed a break — now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
2. I would tell a joke about pizza… but it’s a little cheesy.
3. I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
4. Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
5. My dog loves classical music… he’s really into Barkhym.
6. I tried to catch fog yesterday… I mist.
7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down!
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
9. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y.
10. I asked the gym trainer if I could do crunches while lying down… he said yes, on the couch.
11. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
12. I told a joke about a roof… it went over everyone’s head.
13. I got a reversible jacket for Christmas… I can’t wait to see how it turns out.
14. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
15. I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
16. I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something.
17. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer… I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
18. I’m on a seafood diet… I see food, and I eat it.
19. I told my plants a joke… now they’re rooting for me.
20. I asked the elevator if it wanted to tell a joke… it said it couldn’t handle the ups and downs.
21. I accidentally drank invisible ink… now I can’t see the point.
22. I tried to write a joke about time… but I kept wasting it.
23. Why did the math book look sad? Too many problems.
24. I told my fridge a joke… it didn’t laugh, but the ice cracked.
25. I got kicked out of the calendar store… all I did was take a day off.
26. I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
27. I tried to start a hide-and-seek club… but it never caught on.
28. I’m reading a book on teleportation… it’s bound to get me somewhere.
29. I told a joke to the wall… it’s still standing, but I think it’s laughing inside.
30. I was going to tell a joke about elevators… but it had its ups and downs.
31. I tried to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament… but good players are hard to find.
32. I bought some camo pants… but I can’t find them now.
33. I wanted to tell a joke about a broken pencil… but it had no point.
34. I made a belt out of watches… it’s a waist of time.
35. I started a band called 1023MB… we haven’t got a gig yet.
36. I put my phone in airplane mode… but it’s still on the couch.
37. I told my pillow a joke… now it’s stuffed with laughter.
38. I wanted to tell a joke about construction… but I’m still working on it.
39. I asked the clock out on a date… it said it didn’t have the time.
40. I tried to make a pun about electricity… but it was too shocking.
41. I told my shoes a joke… now they’re walking around laughing.
42. I got a job at a mirror factory… I can see myself working there forever.
43. I wanted to be a magician… but I couldn’t make my bills disappear.
44. I tried to read a book on teleportation… I didn’t get very far.
45. I made a belt out of watches… it’s a waist of time.
46. I told a joke to my notebook… it’s still writing itself down.
47. I’m friends with all electricians… we have current connections.
48. I told my chair a joke… now it’s falling apart laughing.
49. I tried to catch a squirrel… it was nuts!
50. I wanted to be a baker… but I couldn’t make enough dough.
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About the Creator
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The Joyful Town That Laughed Together
The Joyful Town That Laughed Together How a Community Discovered the Power of Humor to Uplift, Unite, and Thrive In the little town of Willowberry, population 4,203 and one overly enthusiastic chicken named Cluckles, something magical happened—though it didn’t start that way. It began with a pothole. Not just any pothole, but the Grand Canyon of sidewalk dips, located right outside the town bakery. Every morning, at least one person would trip into it, often launching a pastry skyward like a baked salute to gravity. It was the cause of two sprained ankles, one broken rolling pin, and a very confused cat who mistook a flying croissant for a bird. The townsfolk had had enough. At the next town meeting, Mayor Betty Wiggins—who wore polka-dotted glasses and had a laugh that could be heard three counties over—stood up and declared, “We have two choices: we can fix the pothole, or we can fix our spirits.” Everyone blinked. “Let’s throw a festival,” she said, “to laugh at ourselves before life does it for us!” And just like that, Laugh Fest was born. Planning the Festival Preparations started immediately. The town florist, Mr. Henry Bloom, created a “Bouquet of Giggles,” using flowers shaped like rubber chickens. The high school drama club wrote a play called Romeo & Hoo-Ha, a parody so ridiculous that even the drama teacher couldn’t say the lines without snorting. Every shop joined in. The hardware store sold “build-your-own whoopee cushions,” while the grocery offered “laughing lettuce” (which was just regular lettuce with googly eyes on the packaging). But the heart of the festival was the community. Mrs. Lee, who hadn’t spoken much since her husband passed, signed up for the joke-telling booth. Kids painted faces on vegetables and entered them in the “Silly Produce Parade.” Even Mr. Grumbleton, the grumpiest man in town, was spotted crafting a ten-foot-tall sculpture of himself made entirely out of marshmallows. (He said it was “accurate on the inside—soft and sticky.”) The Big Day On the morning of Laugh Fest, the sun shone as if it, too, had RSVP’d. People poured into the town square in homemade costumes. There was a walking banana peel, a couple dressed as mismatched socks, and a baby disguised as a mustache. Cluckles the chicken had been appointed honorary mascot and wore a tiny bow tie, though he insisted on pecking anyone who laughed at it. Mayor Wiggins opened the event by tripping into the infamous pothole on purpose—then popping up with a pie in each hand and yelling, “Start your giggles!” The crowd roared. Throughout the day, laughter echoed through the streets. There were joke battles, awkward dance-offs, and even a “bad haircut contest” (sponsored by the local barber, who bravely offered 50% off for anyone willing to leave with a mullet). Children ran around blowing bubbles filled with helium that squeaked as they popped, and someone brought a kazoo orchestra. But the highlight of the festival was the Laughter Relay. Teams of four had to carry a rubber chicken across town while telling jokes, trying not to laugh. It was a disaster—and an overwhelming success. No one made it past the second block without falling into fits of giggles. The Aftermath By sunset, everyone was tired, sticky from cotton candy, and filled with something more lasting than sugar—joy. For the first time in a long time, the people of Willowberry weren’t thinking about potholes, bills, or the broken coffee machine at town hall. They were thinking about each other. The laughter didn’t just stay in the square. It followed people home. The local newspaper ran photos for days. One image of Mr. Grumbleton smiling (genuinely!) became the town’s most shared post in social media history. Kids began leaving joke notes in each other’s lockers. The bakery renamed its signature scone “The Guffaw.” And yes, the pothole finally got filled. But not before they placed a small plaque beside it: > Here once stood the hole that made us whole. Laugh Fest, Year One. A Lasting Tradition Laugh Fest became an annual tradition. Not because the town needed a distraction, but because it had discovered a secret: humor was more than a break from life. It was the glue that held people together. Willowberry didn’t change overnight. There were still bad days and burnt toast and parking tickets. But now, someone always found a way to turn it into a story worth laughing at. And honestly, when you live in a town where the chicken wears a bow tie and the mayor moonlights as a stand-up comedian, it’s hard not to smile.
By Muhammad Saad 6 months ago in Humor
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