Here Is How Much Money I Made Selling Feet Pictures

Alright, so I tried selling feet pictures so you don’t have to. Why, you ask? Well, I stumbled across a post where some woman bragged about making $40,000 a year selling her foot pics. Naturally, I thought, “Heck, I can do that too!” I mean, I’ve got two feet, and $3,000 a month just for taking pics of them? Sounds way more exotic than, you know, getting a *real* job.

First things first, I created my undercover foot pic account on Twitter—naturally named @ScrumptiousFeetPics (yes, thank you, I’ll take my creativity award now). I was ready to make BANK. But to my dismay, apparently every other woman on the planet also had the same brilliant idea. The foot pic market is **flooded**, y’all! Who knew? And yes, I can hear you thinking, “Cindy, just get a job already!” But nah, I’m lazy, and the dream of earning money just by wiggling my toes seemed too good to pass up.

So there I was, browsing the internet to find foot pic buyers. After some research, I learned that Twitter is where the foot pic game was at—because, of course, where else would people go shopping for feet? But after hours of lurking, all I found were dudes claiming to be “rich” but were really just desperate for attention.

Did I just describe myself? Anyway, I decided that Twitter was amateur hour. I’m a professional, so I moved on.

Just when I was about to quit this lucrative side hustle, *BAM*, I got an email from an anonymous buyer interested in my foot pics. FINALLY! Someone who *sees* my talent! He asked for my rates, and I confidently said $5 per pic. Easy money, right? Wrong. This guy wanted a *preview* first, and I had NO idea what that even meant. So, like any true pro, I consulted Google, which told me to send a blurred preview because, apparently, there are scammers out there who run off with your foot pics without paying. The audacity.

I sent my buyer a blurry masterpiece, only for him to hit me back with some poetic nonsense about how he couldn’t judge the “beauty of a flower” if he couldn’t see the petals. Seriously, dude? I’m trying to sell feet, not win a Pulitzer. Now, I’m in a dilemma—if I say no, I lose my only buyer, but if I send unblurred pics, he might ghost me and leave me foot-pic-less *and* broke.

So, I called my most *unhinged* friend—because if anyone’s sold foot pics, it’s her. She tells me to just go for it, of course. With my heart racing, I took the most glamorous foot pics the world has ever seen, after a *gorgeous* pedicure, of course. I spent 40 minutes finding the best angles (yes, feet have angles too), and finally sent three flawless foot pics. Then…I waited.

And waited. And waited some more.

A week later, nothing. So, naturally, I shamelessly hit him up again. He responds saying he’s on vacation and will get back to me. Okay, fair. l'Il choose to trust him with my feet pictures.

I can wait, right? WRONG. The 30th came and went, and still nothing. Now I’m panicking. I told my foot-expert friend, and she says to keep going, so I did. Days passed,at this point holding on to the thought of the cash that had been snatched from my fingertips.I sent another email, I tried to sound dignified but I think the desperation was seeping out of every single word that I wrote.

"Hi again, it's me... still here. I know you're probably super busy with your *vacation* and all, but just wanted to remind you—I'm still totally ready to send more feet pics, or, you know, the ones you still haven't responded to yet? Maybe your inbox is full? Or maybe you lost signal in the mountains? Totally understandable! No rush! But just in case, I'm here. Like, *right here.* Feet are looking fresh. Ready. Waiting. So yeah... hit me up when you're ready... or before that... whichever works for you."

*Send*.

Still no response.

So, if you’re wondering how much I made selling foot pictures—*drumroll please*—**NOTHING. ZERO. NADA.** I sent three pictures of my glorious feet, and what do I have to show for it? Absolutely nothing. I lost my foot pic virginity and didn’t even get a dollar for it.

If anyone feels sorry for me, I’ll just leave my PayPal in the pinned comment. Help a girl out.

Also, if you don’t want to see my feet but enjoyed this tragic story, do me a favor and hit that like button. Because clearly, my feet aren’t gonna make me rich anytime soon.