Green Blades

BANG. BANG.BANG.

"Get up Daniel its time to cut the grass!"

Daniel rolled over in a harumph. Every other Saturday Daniel's mother would wake him like a drill sergeant. Didn't she know he was growing? He needed his beauty sleep. What did it matter when he cut the grass, it wasn't going anywhere. Grass didn't have legs after all.

He would have preferred to cut the lawn in the evening after the sun went down. The streetlights casting a hazy orange glow and the Flowers house sensually illuminated from within.

From his backyard's vantage point he could behold the beauty of Miranda Flowers. Daniel would lie and tell his mother he was being especially thorough, but really he was taking his time taking her in.

"DANIEL!"

His mother's tone more sinister this time. On cue his mother burst into his room as three knocks was all the courtesy she could typically muster. He wondered if she would give him a fourth for his upcoming 18th birthday. He was almost a man after all.

"I'm up! The grass isn't going anywhere . . or growing anywhere for that matter."

"None of that snarky mess, now get up!"

Daniel marveled at his mother. Why did she think she could bully him into being principled for principle's sake. Never mind that it was a sweltering summer and most of the grass was browned and dying with small green splotches growing in desperate clusters.

Daniel stumbled downstairs and out to the shed. Soon his morning crusted eyes were smarting from the gasoline as he fed the mower.

VROOOOOOMMMMMMMM.

Daniel loathed the familiar hum. He mowed, quietly seething, until he heard an unholy clamor from next door.

Daniel looked over surveying the scene: Jason Smart, hanging out of Miranda's window. His muscled legs clamoring down the side of the Flowers house. JASON SMART THAT UPSTART! Miranda was his. Daniel had spent half the summer carefully plotting ways to win her over and have their summer romance spill over into the school year.

He didn't realize he was staring slack jawed until Jason, now on solid ground, gave him a smart smirk.

"Hey Danny boy. See something you like."

He looked down bristling and wishing with dangerous intensity to be one of the green blades.

ZIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. POPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Daniel felt like his insides were being rearranged. he thought the five day old burrito consumed during his midnight mischief must be the culprit.

Suddenly, the hum of the mower had become a deafening roar. The sun was hotter and the slight breeze tickled each of his cells. He also had acquired a suddenly irrational fear of the mower. A creeping traumatic memory of sharp slices from a hot blade.

It took Daniel several moments too long to realize he could not see. A few more moments and he realized he could not move, grounded by an invisible tethering force. That burrito must have been radioactive.

His mother's bedroom window opened.

"DANIEL! What are you doing out there! Hurry up I need you to come to the store with me."

When Daniel gave no response her footsteps thundered down the stairs and out to the backyard.

"Young man! Don't you hear me talking to y ---

Now where did he run off to!"

"MOM I AM RIGHT HERE."

Daniel continued to shout. Or at least he thought he did, but it was no use. His mother turned off the mower and stomped back into the house telling herself what she would do when she got ahold of him.

He couldn't see. He couldn't move. He was invisible? Think Daniel! His mother's voice forever his conscience reverberated in his skull. Suddenly it all hit him. Right before he lost most of his senses he had wished to be . . . one of the green blades. Daniel trembled in horror.

It all added up.

Grass had no eyes, he couldn't see. Check.

Grass had no mouth, he couldn't speak. Check.

He couldn't move . . . grass didn't have legs after all! Check.

Why he could still hear the nag of his mother's voice however, was a mystery. Had he really wished himself into becoming a blade of grass? Now his fate was either to wither away or be decapitated by a mower blade.

Daniel didn't know how much time passed as the hot sun beat down and his roots tried to locate water in the summer soil. He could also detect the dull decaying presence of dog poop left by a passerby just several inches to his left. Did he still have a left side?

What he wouldn't give to be just Daniel again. He would even suffer the daily harassment of his mother.

ZIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. POPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

"Get up Daniel its time to cut the grass!"

Daniel sprung from his bed surveilling his disheveled den of a room. He could see! He could move! He had uttered a garbled ARGGHH upon waking, but he could speak! Daniel sagged with relief, it was just a nightmare.

"What's going on in there young man."

"Nothing!"

Daniel flung open the door and embraced his mother, much to her surprise. He typically only permitted her to hug him annually on his birthday.

"Got to run! The grass won't cut itself!

What has gotten into you?

Daniel's mother stared in suspicion and disbelief but he was already tumbling down the stairs and out to the shed. As he started the mower he winced as a visceral memory of slicing mower blades flashed across his mind. It was just a dream, Daniel thought to himself. Which meant Jason and Miranda were not together and he could still win her heart!

Daniel began mowing gleefully turning just in time to see Jason make a graceful landing from Miranda's window.