FANTASY

Adani,Adani,Adaniiiiiii..... The screams from the next room woke me up. My name was being mentioned, but who could be calling me at this late hour

I woke up and rushed to the compound and traced the sound . It was from Amaley's room. Amaley was a very good friend from work. But wait... Amaley was away on a trip and it was only his wife who was at home. Why would she be shouting my name?

I stood there for a while wondering if I should enter their room or not. Then I remembered, his wife was pregnant. Probably she was in labor. My manly instincts suddenly kicked in and I rushed to the room.

It was quite distorted. The bowls from yesterdays meal was untidily packed in one corner, the makeshift wardrobe was breaking under the wait of so many clothes, cooking utensils and even a few food stuff. It seemed it was their all in all cabinet.

Adaniiiiiii, she screamed my named again. Then I came back to myself. No one needed to tell me she was in pain. I quickly rushed over and tried to help her up.

"Adani I cannot walk, I cannot walk noooowwwww. Men of these days are not romantic at all. At least carry me. You expect me to walk in this state? Chaiiii God help me ooo".

I sighed and decided to let the comment pass,I knew she was in pain and sometimes pain makes us unreasonable. I tried carrying her but it was the biggest mistake I ever made in all my thirty two years of living. I toppled over with her in my arms and fortunately their old springy bed saved me from disaster. I took a quick look at her. She wasn't bleeding neither had she miscarried. I gave a sigh of relief.

But then she started screaming again, in her thick Nigerian accent."Chinekeeeeee, Adani wants to kill me oo. Heeeyyyy somebody save me."

Now I was getting pissed. What was she thinking, that I was her husband? or the one who got her pregnant? "You know what let me get a wheel barrow",I said out of frustration. That statement I made earned me another five minutes of insults and screaming.

A wheeeeel whhhhaaaaat??? Heeeyyyy, men of my generation!!! Ewooooo, ewoooooo. God will punish you people. Now I was very angry. "Okay let me leave you here so that you help yourself",I said angrily.

Now she started sobbing, "Adani I am sorry. Don't worry I will manage with the wheel barrow like that. Don't be angry, it's not me ooo. It is the doing of the devil and that foolish friend of yours."

I shook my head and rushed out of the room. Unfortunately we were alone in the house so I had to bear it all alone. I quickly got the wheelbarrow and rushed it over to their room.

Carrying her into the wheelbarrow was another task on it's own. She kept hitting my head as I tried to gently put her into the wheelbarrow. For the first time in many years I regretted having a bald head just at 32. For a moment I thought I might die on spot doe to brain damage. I feel the heat of her slaps through my cranium.

Finally I was able to seat her into the wheelbarrow.

Then came the greatest of all my troubles. Our home was about forty five minutes from the road side, meaning I had to push her all the way there before we could get a taxi.

For the first time in my life I wished myself dead. But anytime I closed my eyes and opened all I saw was this 'buffalo' who kept screaming my name. I began pushing the wheelbarrow and she gladly kept insulting me.

I don't know how I did it, but somehow we got to the roadside and finally I got a taxi. The driver understood the urgency of the situation and did his best to drive fast. But even him, an innocent stranger who was just going about his daily routine could not leave this scene without receiving some insults.

Anytime he bumped into a pothole or even turned a sharp curve this woman would dress him up with insults. I just sat there quietly reflecting on why our elders say that "it's is only hunger that will make an unmarried man dream of marriage". When we finally got to the hospital I helped her out of the car and rushed to pay the driver.

But he looked at me and shook his head and said "it's okay son". I pray that God himself gives you strength to survive this marriage. He drove away as I stood there sheepishly with the money in my hand.

Adani why are you giving the man gold?she shouted from behind. I sighed and rushed over to her. The nurses quickly surrounded her and took her into the delivery room, amidst her screams. She kept shouting my name.

Finally one of the nurses begged me to come inside. In as much as they wanted to be be professional, I could see how hard it was for them to keep a straight face. I'm sure they were all thinking,'Almighty Adani'.

In about thirty minutes, the baby was in . A wave of relief washed over me. The nurses brought him over to me and said "sir, you have a baby boy. I gently took him in my arms and suddenly all the pain and anger I felt vanished. How could a human being be so cute and adorable? As I was about giving him to his mother, one nurse commented "sir your son really looks like you." I stopped midway turned and scanned her from head to toe. I guess the look one face was enough to scare her away. I watched her as she scurried out of the room.

I finally handed him over to his mother. For the first time in the past three hours I saw her smile. I smiled as I reflected on all that had happened then I began to pray for the boy. If he had a mother who had the ability to insult like this, then all he needed was strength to survive living with her.

I turned to take my leave. But then she screamed, Are you leaving us Adani? Heeeeeyyyyy, hmmmmmmm.

I wasn't ready to fight.

So I gently told her that I wanted to get her food and also call Amaley. "Alright make sure you come back quickly." She said . "Yes ma",I replied in a mocking tone. I knew, I wasn't coming back to this hospital . All I wanted to do know was to get home,call Amaley and get some rest.

As I stood across the street to charter a taxi back home, I saw Amaley. How did he know his wife was here? Well that didn't matter much. There was so much I wanted to tell him. So without thinking, I rushed across the road.

"Boooooom", one reckless driver hit me with his car. I felt myself flying through the air and finally landing hard in the middle of a street. I saw people surround me and before I passed out I heard them say, "he's dead".

Who? Me? I hoped not. I knew I was wishing myself dead a few hours ago, but c'mon no one fancied dying on a hot, busy and dirty street.

My eyes fluttered open the next morning, I looked around and I realized I was still lying on my old mattress, in my shabby bedroom. It was then, just then that I realized that it was all a dream.