Confession: I am Not Nice
and I'm not sorry, either
As a woman, I am very aware that I am supposed to be nice. I am supposed to be warm and giving and understanding; according to my very Church of Scotland upbringing I am also supposed to be a wellspring of calm, quiet compassion. No wrath, no hysteria (though this is deemed to be understandable due to the naturally delicate temperament of women). I am, in short, supposed to be ladylike. Feminine... and, if at all possible, graceful. The problem, lads and lassies, is that I am very few of these things most of the time and none of them very often.
In fact, I've been told my temper can sour the mood of a whole house, that a real argument with me (which, to be fair to myself, is rare) feels like being mauled. I've been called callous, aggressive. A fucking bitch... and I'm not sorry.
I could tell you, friends, that I had to be hard or certain family members would have been wearing my pelt as a coat (which is true), or that mental illness required me to toughen up and become spiky to survive (also a fair point). I could tell you that a bad relationship made me quick to burn bridges and slow to apologise, but I won't. Here's why;
I am a bitch by nature.
Don't rush to comfort or console me, and don't give me platitudes. I know it's true, and I don't believe it's a bad thing.... and I don't believe I'm a bad person, but the truth is I often have to work hard to be what anyone would call pleasant and, forgive me for being biased, I've decided that makes my niceness, when I can muster it, more authentic.
More than that I've come to believe the phrase "it takes all types" really is true. While its not necessarily seen as a positive or desirable trait in women aggression has its uses. And yet women are the only female animals we expect it in.
Make that math work. As a wise, but sadly forgotten in my scrambled brain, person said; a woman is a female mammal that sweats and grunts. Why should dogs and lions have all the fun; why can't I bite a motherf*cker and get away with it?
I'm joking, of course... but only just.
I enjoy my aggression.
Maybe this is a flaw I should rectify, but I really do. It's nice to know that I work hard to be soft and friendly and far more comforting to know I can let the bitch slip the leash when I need to. I wonder if this is how men feel sometimes - but mostly I wonder how much further I could have gotten in life by now if I had been born a son. I think I'd have been a menace if I got my dads height and build, so while it would be nice to reach the top shelf with ease and wade through crowds like an ice breaker I'll thank the Gods for the limitations they gave me, because I'm a bitch at heart and someone had to slow me down.
About the Creator
S. A. Crawford
Writer, reader, life-long student - being brave and finally taking the plunge by publishing some articles and fiction pieces.
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Footy Widow
Generally I'm a lover of football myself and feel like I may be misleading in my title but I'm accutely aware there are still many of us women that would relish the telly to themselves over the weekend whilst their darling off spring are off socialising and creating choas locally. For those of you that don't I found a way to make it through the games!
By Nadine Haigh5 days ago in Humor
Comments (19)
Congrats! 🌱✌️
This story has my baby sister written all over it, and I love it! My mum is a very traditional, prim and proper, blah, blah, blah. The pair are always at odds because Mum cannot stand her tattoos. Congratulations on your top story and for making the leadership board this week ❣ As my sister always says, "Fuck it."
Yesss girl!! I can relate to all of this! Celebrating you for owning who you are! Thanks for sharing your real self with the world🫶
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations on making on the Leaderboard this week 👏 🏆🏆🥰
This is awesome. I needed this refreshing read this morning, lol. My favourite thing I’ve read in response to being a bitch is, “was it not a bitch who nursed Rome?” Loved this piece, S.A.
Most of what we think is our nature? Actually just poor gut health and a lack of safety in the body 😉
I was once reprimanded for being unladylike while using the toilet, when I was about six years old. I decided then and there that I have no interest in being ladylike. Smile and the world smiles back; growl and you get better service.
Snarl when you have to. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I have a temper and could be much more callous but I rein it in. I like myself for it.
Love this. And I know women like you and wouldn't change them even if I could. I really hate in general that any one person should meet a certain criteria based on gender. It blows my mind how backward that is. Like telling kids they should be seen and not heard. Men are just scared of women who aren't shrinking violets. Congrats too on Top Story. I always think "another win for Scotland" 😉
I love your genuinity! When need be, there is nothing wrong with being aggressive and assertive!
Great to read an entirely unabashed self-appraisal. Well done and congratulations on the TS
Yikes calling women calling themselves bitches and dogs definitely doesn't help equality. Both sexes should just show more care to one another
GRAHHH THIS ARTICLE HAS ME PUMPED! I am also " a bitch by nature." I've been called " a force of nature" AND a "force to be reckoned with." I do not tolerate ANYTHING. I have grown men twice my size SCARED of me. They know I will hurt their feelings. I will cut them down to size and I will put them in their place.I am Unapologetically honest - and I find my HONESTY - is the thing that I am MOST hated for. I'm not graceful. Calm or quiet either girl. I hope you're proud of yourself. Because its okay that we do not conform to feminine standards. Lets be honest. When shit gets real - WE are the ones women AND men hide behind when you need someone to 'handle' things. Nothing wrong with being a bitch that people won't mess with. In this world, if you're too nice, you just get manhandled, especially if you're a woman. And I have found since I have accepted and learn to love my inner Queen Bish, that life is much easier - and people - ESPECIALLY men - are less eager to dispresect or walk all over me.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story. ♥️🤗🖤🎊🎉🎊👌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽
You're definitely interesting.
Brutally beautiful as you are! I think this type of honesty goes far.
This was brilliant! Your allusion, coupled with who you are and who you are not, is incredibly relatable. I especially loved that line, "I am very few of these things most of the time and none of them very often." It made me laugh out loud. Your hyperbole was superb; the pause between the "whole house" and "being mauled" was perfectly timed. The dark humour around wearing pelt as a coat immediately showed me why you took that defensive stance—I completely get it. For a moment, I didn't want to be kind either, and that's telling!
They do not talk much about a women wrath because its the most fearless thing on the earth. Thats why they want to keep women calm. 😉You be you. ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙