Carry On S1 E10 • A Place Among the Saints

FADE IN

INT. BARTHOLOMEW HOUSEHOLD - EVENING

BARTHOLOMEW sits with his twenty-five-year-old wife ISABELLA and thirteen-year-old daughter ALENA. This Thanksgiving dinner is the first for them in Delaware. BARTHOLOMEW prepares the entire meal. He says the blessing.

BARTHOLOMEW

Dear Lord, we gather in your name to say thanks for the meal you have prepared for us. We thank you and only you as a provider for this family. We appreciate your loving kindness and grace and in your Son Jesus the Christ we all say, ‘amen.’

ISABELLA [sincerely]

This turkey, the macaroni and cheese! Fabulous, honey.

BARTHOLOMEW

Thank you, dear.

ALENA looks at her food. Her mother picks up on this.

ISABELLA

Your father made you a wonderful holiday meal, aren’t you going to have some?

ALENA checks a text message. She then slides her phone under the table.

ALENA

I mean if we didn’t have to have all that God talk. Jesus didn’t prepare this meal. You did, Dad.

BARTHOLOMEW [He clears his throat]

Yes, sweetie, but without God’s grace, we wouldn’t be in this house or able to have this bountiful meal.

ALENA

There is no God.

ISABELLA [shocked]

Where is this coming from?

ALENA shrugs.

BARTHOLOMEW

It’s those damn videos—

ISABELLA

Lonnie!

BARTHOLOMEW

Forgive me. I know people I work with who don’t believe in God. Believe it or not it’s Mr. Doug and Miss Suchin. They don’t believe it. That doesn’t make them bad people. But under this house and following my rules, you’re going to respect and honor the Lord, young lady.

ALENA

Exactly. They’re your bosses. They must be doing something right and be proud nonbelievers in the theory of God.

ISABELLA [sighs and stabs at her plate]

Maybe you should finish up your supper and get ready for bed.

ALENA

That’s fine by me.

ISABELLA

And I’m restricting Internet access to your room. And in case you thought you were going to use 5G, hand over the phone.

ALENA is stunned; she kisses her teeth and hands over her mobile device.

ISABELLA

You’ll get your privileges back once you know how to respect this household.

ALENA [she trudges up the stairs in deliberate fashion]

I can’t wait until I’m out of this household.

BARTHOLOMEW and ISABELLA exchange stupefied glances.

ISABELLA

The nerve of that girl. To say that. How does her tongue even form the words?

BARTHOLOMEW carves into his turkey leg.

BARTHOLOMEW

It’s just discipline. She needs to relearn respect and duty and service to God.

ISABELLA

When I was her age I rebelled, but not like this. This is deeper than that. She is going against the most high God. We taught her better. She wasn’t raised to know anything different. I don’t think she’s getting it from those officers, do you?

BARTHOLOMEW

I doubt it. She hasn’t spent that much time with them. Like I said, she’s been watching those videos online that teach you how to be atheists. It’s just something we have to contend with, now. There are so many things I can do. I think we both agree she’s going to college. Maybe we can goad her into one of those faith-based schools to try to restart her love in God.

ISABELLA

I got out of the Corps rather early as you know. But you’re a lifer. What you can demonstrate is that mommy and daddy were in the Marines and one still is active. She might start planning to be an officer. She could go to any college then get into ROTC. Next, she’ll be primed for OCS and ready to enter as a Marine officer, something her parents didn’t do.

BARTHOLOMEW finishes a piece of stuffing stuck to cranberry sauce.

BARTHOLOMEW

Yes, I don’t approve of female Marines. I didn’t know you were a Marine until you told me later and then I just tolerated it. I really don’t want Ally to go through the Corps. She should just go to a university and study something like advanced education. I really want her to get back to God, though. She didn’t exhibit any ill feelings towards her faith until recently. It’s those damn—

ISABELLA chews on a sweet potato.

ISABELLA

I know, hon’. ‘the videos.’

BARTHOLOMEW

Well, it’s got to be something.

ISABELLA

She’s at that age. She’s going to be interested in boys. She’s going to slack off on her studies. She’s going to pay more attention to gossip than to lesson plans. It’s all in the works. I wish that wasn’t the case, but it is. She’s still our Ally. No matter what she does, believes in, or doesn’t believe in, it is our job to love and support her.

BARTHOLOMEW wipes his face.

She’ll become a nun.

ISABELLA [incredulously]

A nun?!

BARTHOLOMEW

Sure. That’ll restore the faith in her pretty quickly, I’d say. Let her go to a convent and see the powers and awesome wonders of our God. Doug and Suchin won’t have to worry about recruiting our baby girl. She’ll have a place amongst the saints.

(OS) ALENA

Yeah, so I can support a system that targets little boys and violates in a serious way.

BARTHOLOMEW and ISABELLA

Hey!

BARTHOLOMEW

You better get up those stairs and do your homework. We’re talking about you not to you. Have a good night, Alena.

ALENA slams her door.

BARTHOLOMEW

I’m going to go up there—

ISABELLA

No, Lonnie. That’s not for you to do. Let her spend some time without the Web. I’m sure she has work that doesn’t require being online. She’ll figure this all out and if she wants to be an atheist, we’ll still be with her no matter what happens. It’s just a shock to us now because it was just dropped on us. But we have to remember that she’s still trying to figure this all out, too. If we push her, try to strike the fear of God in her bones, it could mess up her mind. We don’t want that, do we?

BARTHOLOMEW looks grim and then brightens.

I suppose not.

FADE OUT