50+ Funny Football Puns and Jokes to Score Big Laughs

Football isn’t just about goals, tackles, and red cards—it’s also a game full of laughs! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good pun, these 50+ funny football jokes and puns will have you rolling on the pitch with laughter. From clever wordplay to game-day giggles, this collection is perfect for sharing with friends, teammates, or fellow fans. Get ready to kick off the fun and enjoy some of the best football humor around!

Funny football puns:

Here are 25 hilarious football puns to kick off the fun!

1. I'm a keeper – both in love and on the field.
2. My goal is to stop yours.
3. That was a Messi situation!
4. You can’t handle this defense—I’m too net-savvy.
5. I get a kick out of football.
6. Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
7. I’m pitch-perfect at this game.
8. Ref, are you Messi-ng with me?
9. I'm on a seafood diet—I see the ball and shoot.
10. You can’t touch this, I’m in de-FENCE mode!
11. Playing against me? That’s a red card mistake.
12. I always deliver—it’s my goal in life.
13. That shot was so good, even VAR approved.
14. Our team is nacho average squad.
15. That pass was so crisp, even toast got jealous.
16. We’re all about the kicks and giggles.
17. You can’t stop me—I’m un-BEAT-able.
18. This team is going places—mainly the penalty box.
19. That tackle was so late, it needs a time machine.
20. I was going to tell you a football joke, but I’ll pass.
21. You’re a great striker—always scoring with the ladies!
22. This match is so intense, even my snacks need halftime.
23. If you can’t handle the pressure, you should sub out.
24. I'm just here to kick it!
25. Footballers always bring their A-game… and their B-teams!

Hope these scored some laughs! ⚽😂

Funny football jokes:

Here are 50 funny football jokes to keep you laughing all the way to the final whistle!

General Football Jokes:

1. Why didn’t the skeleton play football? He had no guts!
2. What does a football player do when he loses his eyesight? He becomes a referee.
3. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
4. What’s a football player’s favorite part of a game? The kickoff party!
5. Why was the tiny football team so good? Because they had a little league!
6. What’s a football player’s favorite drink? Penal-tea.
7. Why did the football player bring string to the game? To tie up the score!
8. Why do football players do so well in school? Because they know how to use their heads!
9. Why did the football team break up? Because they couldn’t kick it anymore.
10. Why was the stadium so cool? Because it was full of fans!

Player & Referee Jokes

1. What’s a ghost’s favorite position in football? Ghoul-keeper.
2. What do you call a footballer who goes to space? A shooting star!
3. What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? Rap… because they love a good beat!
4. Why do football players never get hot? Because they stay close to the fans.
5. Why do referees always carry a notebook? To keep a record of everything.
6. What do you call a referee who’s always wrong? A VAR-y bad decision maker.
7. Why did the referee break up with his girlfriend? Because she kept arguing over his calls.
8. What’s a footballer’s least favorite room? The penalty box.
9. Why did the footballer bring a ladder to the game? To reach the top of the table!
10. Why did the footballer go to jail? For kicking the habit.

Team & Match Jokes

1. Why did the football team go to the party? Because they heard it was a real “goal-den” opportunity!
2. Why did the striker bring a pencil to the game? To draw the match!
3. What do you call a bad football team? A Messi situation.
4. What’s a football team’s favorite snack? Tackling chips!
5. What did the football say to the kicker? I get a kick out of you.
6. What did the football net say to the ball? You’re trapped!
7. What do you get when you cross a football team with a bakery? A bunch of rolls!
8. Why did the football player bring a suitcase? He was going on a transfer!
9. Why don’t grasshoppers watch football? They watch cricket instead.
10. Why don’t football teams ever get lost? Because they always follow the goal.

Fan & Spectator Jokes

1. Why did the football fan go to the bakery? To get a cup of “goal-den” brown coffee.
2. What do you call a football team that likes to cook? A team of skillets.
3. Why did the football fan take a ladder to the game? To get a better view of the goal!
4. What’s a football fan’s favorite type of fish? Goal-dfish.
5. What’s a football fan’s favorite superhero? Captain “Ameri-kick.”
6. What do you call a dinosaur that plays football? A Roar-naldo!
7. Why do footballers like playing on the moon? Because there’s no pressure!
8. What did one football fan say to another before the game? “Let’s kick it!”
9. Why did the football team need a map? To find their way to the final!
10. Why did the football fan bring a ladder? Because they wanted to be a “high” supporter!

Championship & Trophy Jokes

1. Why did the football team go to therapy? Because they had too many goals in life.
2. What did the cup say to the football team? "You’ll have to win me over!"
3. Why did the team throw their trophy in the trash? Because they already had too much silverware!
4. Why did the footballer go to art school? To learn how to draw the match!
5. What’s a footballer’s favorite movie? The Fast and the Foul-ious.
6. Why do goalkeepers love dinner parties? Because they always bring the best saves.
7. What’s a footballer’s favorite type of exercise? Dribbling on the treadmill!
8. What’s a footballer’s favorite fruit? Goooooal-den apples!
9. Why did the football player sleep under the goal? Because he wanted to be a dream keeper.
10. Why do footballers love bedtime stories? Because they always dream of the cup!

Hope these jokes scored some laughs! ⚽😂

Conclusion:

Football may be a serious game, but there’s always room for a little humor! Whether you’re watching from the stands, playing on the field, or just looking for a good laugh, these football puns and jokes are sure to keep the fun going. Share them with your football-loving friends and bring some extra cheer to match day. Got a favorite football joke? Drop it in the comments and let’s keep the laughter rolling!