Your own life, if you are not serious, you will paste

From the end of dinner, you have been on the phone, calling once and not listening, calling twice and not listening, calling three times and not listening, until I yelled, "If you want to call, go out and call!" With a bang, you rushed out the door.

It was snowing heavily outside, and Grandma rushed to look in the closet by the door, fearing you hadn't put on your coat. Mom leaned out the window to see which way you were running. I sat stunned in the living room, remembering the scene in the movie "Rope": Chun Yu Yi shouting at his disciple, whom he "loved so much and blamed so much", "Get out of here! The disciple, who had been with the master for more than ten years, actually rolled up his bunk and turned his head away.

I always remember the old actor Wang Yin's trembling voice: "Raised him for more than ten years, so a word, he left!

What a great performance by Wang Yin! The anger, bewilderment, and loss in his eyes were exactly what I was feeling at the moment, weren't they?

Son! We've been arguing about your old phone calls lately, I don't know how many times! Is a phone call worth such hurt feelings with your parents?

Maybe they were angry words and you forgot about them afterward! But you have to know how much it hurts your parents' hearts!

Remember the other day when we blamed you for spending a lot of money on phone calls, and you talked back? You said, "I'll pay for it myself, that's all."

And do you remember how you complained when your mom asked you to help her type a letter? You said, "Oh! I have to type my stuff; you guys, I have to type yours too!"

So I thought that one day, when you could make a lot of money and get into trouble with us again, you might say, "Here's the deal! Count how much money I have spent on you all since I was a kid. How much milk powder I ate, how many clothes I wore, I'll write a check and pay you all at once, and we won't owe each other!"

Then you can roll up and leave, just like Chun Yu Yi's disciple, and become a truly independent man in the world! Isn't that so?

I used to read Fromm's treatise on love, which said that the growth of children points to separation from their parents, and after separation, to union with another individual, to become a new family. At the time I read it, I didn't feel much; but today, watching you leave us to step by step, I began to comfort myself with Fromm's theory.

"Of course it is, isn't it? A child is old enough to have his own opinion and rebelliousness, to separate from his parents and become independent!"

The question is, does separation from parents negate the love of parents? Can the love given by parents over the past decade or so be measured by the value of milk powder and clothes? Why don't you include your own life in the calculation?

When I was your age, I was also rebellious, always comparing myself to others, complaining about my family's bad situation, and blaming my parents for being too strict, but one day I read a passage in the play "Endgame" by Nobel Prize winner Samuel Beckett.

"The son yells at his father: 'Son of a bitch! Why did you give birth to me?'

Father: 'I don't know.

Son: 'What? You don't know what?'

Father: 'I didn't know you would be the one born!

I began to think about the meaning of this and realized that there is no choice between children and parents. The most important thing is that the relationship can never be severed.

So you can blame us for giving you myopia, you can blame us for using Chinese concepts of discipline, you can blame us for not being billionaires, you can even blame us for being unreasonable!

But you can't blame us for being your parents.

Just as we can never complain about giving birth to you.

We have nothing but gratitude for getting you. I remember when you were a toddler, we used to say that you were the cutest when you a toddler and 100% belonged to your parents, but after you went to school, it was a different story.

But when you were in elementary school, we said that you were innocent until middle school!

And then when you go to middle school, we talk about how fun it is when our son is old enough to talk as a friend! In the future, you will leave home for college. Then we'll lose him!

But I believe that until you have a family in the future, we will still say, "Although it is rare to come back once, the thought of him, the heart is sweet!"

That's love, that's persistence, and that's no regrets!

But I wonder as you grow up, do you also feel that each stage of your parents has different lovely things? Or are you getting bored and wanting to pay back what you owe your parents and never be disciplined again?

Don't worry! No matter how big, how great, how successful, or how unsuccessful you are, we will manage you as much as we love you.

When you return from a pay phone call, if you are attentive enough, you will find that although we seem to have ignored you and gone to bed, there are clear footprints of your mother and me on the snow in front of the door ......

Homosexuality can often be directed, that is, taught, lured into homosexuality. The easiest people to hook are teenage boys and girls who have no experience with heterosexuality.

Beware of exposure

A couple of Chinese friends ask you to teach their kids to play the piano, and, probably addicted to teaching, you get the idea to print some flyers, go to the train station parking lot, and clip them to the windshield of your car.

"Maybe there will be a big crowd!" You say excitedly.

"I'm against it!"

"Why?" You asked in surprise, "Didn't you already want me to work for money?"

I didn't answer you directly but gave an example.

My student, Wang Wei, recently quit his job as a restaurant delivery boy. It was a good income job, just riding a bike a few blocks, the customer called the food delivery, you can get five yuan tips. In a day, earn several times more than the school work-study students.

Why did he stop doing it?

Because he found it too dangerous! Several delivery friends, when they found the address, found it cold inside, and suddenly a sharp knife on the throat, not only robbed the food, search all the money, but also a few strokes on the way out, almost gave up his life.

"We are in the light, the other side in the dark, we certainly have no protection." Wang Wei said.

"You are in the light, others are in the dark." That's why I'm against you giving out leaflets. From the leaflet, others can know that you are a student of Juliet's Music Academy, guess your age and intellectual background, and then by the phone number, know the area where you live, your outline is already roughly out.

And the other person?

You know nothing!

So when you go to the appointment, is it possible that a situation similar to the delivery may occur?

Sometimes the situation is even more problematic!

I remember one time when it was snowing heavily and the letter carrier was delivering registered mail, I asked him to come inside and sign, he hesitated and came in, but laughed and said that it was fortunate that he was an acquaintance, otherwise he would never be able to enter the house. For there was once in the past a young letter carrier who was invited in by a lady, and then the woman tore her clothes and said, "Will you behave yourself and do as I say, or shall I shout rape?"

Before leaving, the letter carrier squeezed his eyes: "There is nothing strange in this world, be careful good!"

And also said: "the living people out, you'd better send to the door, close the door itself, because some bad guys first to explore the way out of the door secretly stuffed a paper ball in the lock hole, it seems that the door is put on, in fact, not locked. And he has figured out everything in the house, and turn back to rob to steal, you are very difficult to defend against!"

There is another situation that you should know about, and that is the prevention of homosexuals.

In this day and age, while we can't say that homosexuality is against the law, the least we can do to guard against them is to not be seduced by them.

When I was in junior high school, I once met a scholarly type in a bookstore who explained the contents of books to me like a mentor and bought me food, but after I grew skilled, he behaved strangely.

A former colleague of mine also mentioned his encounter in middle school. One day, while reading the newspaper on the bulletin board outside Taipei New Park, a man in his twenties, with his hand behind his back and shaking the key in his hand, gradually approached him, deliberately touching and teasing him with the key.

Later, when I read papers on the study of homosexuality, I learned that: homosexuality can often be directed, that is, taught and seduced by homosexuals. Those who are most likely to be hooked are teenage boys and girls who have not yet had any experience with heterosexuality.

A well-mannered white boy like you is their ideal target!

Times are different and so is the environment. In the past, when you were driving and saw someone on the side of the road asking for a ride, it was only natural to stop and let them come up. But today some states have legislated against it because most criminals take the opportunity to rob. They even hide on the side, and then by young girls to stop the car, you just open the door, and the gun has been put to the temple.

You used to be able to call a taxi from a corner in the middle of nowhere in Manhattan. Now even if you call a taxi from home, the other party will ask you to leave a phone number, and then call back to check before driving over.

One taxi driver said it well.

"The man in the taxi is guarding against us, but he doesn't know that we are also guarding against him. In the middle of the night, if several men stop the car, I will not stop! What can be done? We know nothing about each other ah!"

"Know your enemy and know yourself, and you will never be in danger in a hundred battles." Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" more than two thousand years ago has given us the best guidance.

So you want to work part-time, fine! But you absolutely must identify the target, and not expose yourself unguarded first!

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)