You see me, I see you

One of the most transformative things that I did last year in a Best Stretch Ever class was an idea that came to me in church, and then I told myself, scared, how could I not do it?..

Father tells us about what happens when you look into someone’s eyes. How you see their life – their day – their humanity – what makes them who they are.

And what that is – human just like you.

I remember also seeing this technique being used as some sort of therapy between individuals of varying opinions, possibly in an argument, or just searching for something more. With the look in each other’s eyes, each minute that passed by, they would get closer to stripping each other’s armor down, as well as their own.

When this armor would come off, piece by piece, scar by scar, emotion by emotion, individuals with differences that have risen to the top, soon begin to fade and the similarities come to light.

Being familiar with this, and then hearing the priest tell a similar narrative that happens when this is done had me intrigued.

So, then the thought popped into my head, almost in a laughing/joking manner: I should do this with my group fitness class later in the day. I lightly chuckled inside, but then quickly thought twice; Mike, you are thinking it. You should do it.

Will I do it? Do I do it? At this point in my self-conversation, how can I not do it?

Mass is in the morning and class is in the afternoon, so there was time, but this was almost a foregone conclusion that it will be happening. Breakfast and client sessions to be done first, and then I typically take a couple of minutes to meditate on one of the couches while staring at a plant (because it is living), thinking about what I will do in class.

Meditation time: after the typical introduction, class will stand up and I will have them all partner up with their neighbor and look at each other in their eyes.

That’s it.

So, not knowing much else after that other than after giving it a minute of uninterrupted staring in complete silence, we will transition into the class.

What an experience.

After my introduction, I proceeded to have them partner up.

“Find a partner next to you.”, must’ve been a bit scary. It was even for me instructing the class. There were the looks of what is going on. Then I told them about the task at hand: “we are going to look into each other’s eyes for one minute.”

There were more looks and feelings of unsureness, confusion, some light laughter, and some curiosity and excitement. Class must keep going. I matched up with Rick, and whoever might have been unsure, very quickly must’ve noticed that this is for real, as Rick and I started to stare in each other’s eyes.

Before I talk about my experience, I will try to paint what was happening in the room. For one minute, I was looking in Rick’s eyes and he was doing the same back. So, I cannot speak from visual experience of what was happening in the room. I can see stillness peripherally, and I can hear stillness.

Then I felt emotion. There was so much emotion in the room – I do not know how to explain, but there wasn’t anyone in the room who wanted to let go. It felt as if each person was roping in, holding hands, opening doors, for the other person. I was having a powerful experience, and I can also sense that I wasn’t the only one. When I turned to everyone after the minute was done, my feelings were confirmed, it was a powerful experience for all.

For me.

Rick is my friend, and I now knew him for some time from the club. It wasn’t planned that him and I would match up. There were a lot of my friends in class, and it simply happened.

Now this is the first time I am doing this exercise, and this is how it went…

I locked in. At first, it was more my thoughts with a bit of searching. I can’t speak for Rick but seemed like we were both searching. Then there was calmness, quietness, stillness, and the feeling of searching was starting to fade. A feeling of ‘this is Rick’ was starting to come on. I started feeling his pains, his joys, his hope, and they were all coinciding with my aspirations, my yearnings, my beliefs.

His face was turning red, and eyes were tearing up. My eyes were doing the same and I can only imagine how I looked.

We were becoming one.

Like that – a minute was up, and we go to begin our stretch routine.

Now that you have read this – how can you not try this exercise with someone else?

You will know with who and/or when. There will not be a perfect time and/or person to try it with, but I can assure that there will be magic and an uncovering that each individual was looking for.

What we see, experience, look for, open our eyelids wide to find and at the same time close tight to sleep and dream stays with us throughout life.

Here is to looking into your eyes.