Why We Decided to Elope

When my boyfriend asked me to marry him, it was the best day of my life so far. It was so intricately planned; full of surprises and romance, not to mention the fact that I was, and have been, head over heels in love with him since the day we met. As a little girl, I had dreamed of the fairy tale wedding. The white dress, the bridesmaids, the big ceremony, it was everything I ever wanted. So I thought.

If you know me, then you know I'm not one to sit idly by waiting for all the preparations to fall together. Even though my new fiancé reassured me we had plenty of time to start planning, I immediately fell down the rabbit hole of "Happily Ever After." In my Google and Pinterest with questions like "I'm engaged. Now what?" and "Wedding planning time line," I soon discovered that, sensibly, it would take about a year to plan our event. With that in mind, we began to talk about setting a date.

This seemed like the perfect way to nail down our big day so that we could begin the process. I have always wanted an outdoor wedding. That would mean we had to plan around the weather. We wanted a point of the year where it's not too hot or too cold in north Georgia, the state with two seasons. We settled for late October. At the time, I had no idea that was peak season for weddings. I mean, at that time, I didn't even know that weddings had a peak season. Late October meant we would be waiting a little over a year until our wedding day.

That was problem number one. Of course I was excited. I quickly told family and friends the good news and ordered save-the-dates. Sure, I'll admit I jumped the gun a little. The more I researched, the more I learned. If you Google the national average cost for a wedding, I kid you not, the internet will tell you anywhere from $28,000-$30,00. Can you imagine my eyeballs bulging out of my head and rolling down into the floor? Because that was what happened. I thought to myself "Jesus Christ. There is no way. We can't do that. And even if we could, there is now way that I would want to." Joey and I both have worked since we were around 16-years-old. Everything thing that we have, we paid for ourselves. And guess what? Just because we got engaged, and our not-so-typical families were just as excited as we were, did not mean that someone was going to magically hand over $30K for us to tie the knot.

Feeling a little discouraged, I persevered. I'm pretty thrifty as a general rule, and I thought "That's okay. It won't be the most extravagant ordeal, but we can make it work." I started asking family if they had any good ideas for price conscious venues that could hold around 80 guests. Venues alone can range anywhere from $3,000-$5,000. We were very fortunate to be offered a free venue from a family friend. I was ecstatic and very gracious. Suddenly, things didn't seem so grim. We had already slashed the cost of our wedding by a few grand.

The only downside was that the venue only has a short span of availability through the year, so our far off wedding date was solidified. I know I'm not the most patient person, but even squinting my eyes, I couldn't see our much anticipated, best day ever. Of course, I chalked it up to my impatience and the anticipation. It was time to start looking into vendors. Here's a tip if you are in the beginning stages of planning a your special day: if you type in the word "wedding" before anything price-related, be prepared to see costs starting at $1,000.

I mean, there is so much: the photographer/videographer, the food, the DJ, the alcohol, the officiant, the decorations, the honeymoon, the hair, the makeup, the dress, the suites. All of a sudden my head was spinning with negative signs in our bank account. And sure, we could have saved that money over the span of a year, but you have to book your vendors over six months in advance to hold your date, not to mention the fact that kind of money could be a down payment on a house, a road trip across the country, or a new car. The list was endless. Suddenly, I was having a hard time justifying spending this much money on one day.

The financial aspect was one in itself, but the social obligation of it was a whole different beast. If you invite your aunt and uncle, then you have to invite their kids and their SO etc, etc. Before you know you've written your great aunt Ethel into the guest list, and you have't seen her in three years. Added on top of that is everyone dropping subtle hints about wanting to be in the wedding party. My fiancé and I together have six siblings, four nieces/nephews, and seven cousins that we consider close family, not to mention the amounts of friends who wanted to be included. Before I could blink, I was looking at a wedding party nudging 17. And that still wasn't including everyone who wanted to be a part of our big day.

This whole wedding thing was quickly spinning out of control, and I had only been planning for about three months. What was supposed to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life had turned into a plethora of anxiety. I realized that I had started to lose sight of why we were getting married in the first place. So I started searching for elopement packages in my area (don't tell my mom), and holy cow, talk about a price drop. Most elopement packages start anywhere from $250-$600 and that typically includes the officiant, the food, the photography, and a room for the night.

The only downside: They allow you to bring six people tops. So, we decided to get married in the company of each other. But all in all, this makes sense. We fell in love together and built a life together. No one helped us do that. Our wedding day should be about the two of us — not our great aunt Ethel and her obligation. It will be the grandest 24 hours of our life to come. It is the foundation of our legacy. The only thing I want to be concerned about is getting to the end of that isle to the love of my life and committing myself to him, mind, body, and soul for the rest of my forever. And I don't want to wait a year and a half to do.

So, if you're planning a wedding with no help, remember that there are tons of options that are less expensive and less invasive. Planning your big day should be fun and relatively stress free. That might seem impossible with the endless wedding stigma out there, but if you keep the man or woman you love in the forefront of your mind, you'll find a way to make everything work in the time span that works for the two of you. I want to remember my wedding day as a fairy tale. Fairy tales don't include the fear of your drunk uncle-in-law, twice removed giving a highly inappropriate speech in front of your modestly religious aunt. Or going into debt, for that matter. So, here is to elopement and marrying the love of my life!