Where is Grolly?

Two guys walk into a room. A living room of sorts, though calling it aliving room might be generous. Decorated in a combination of dorm room and ambivalence it is more like a tribute to despair and neglect. The tall one says to the other one, “what you got there?” “Dunno, a box from Amazon.”The other one opens the box, “oh look it’s the new Garry Rollins book. I didn’t know that there was a new one. But I didn’t order it. The tall one says, “I didn’t order that. You know I think his books are inane.” Have you even ready any of them?” “No, not really haven’t had a chance but I know the genre.” “For what its worth they are actually witty, well written, with well developed characters and plots.”. “Speaking of which, what are we going to do about that?” They both look across the room towards the end table, their eyes resting on a black moleskin notebook. “I don’t know, it’s been a really long time since he disappeared.” “I know and he never goes anywhere without his notebook. The fact that its been sitting here and we haven’t seen Grolly in awhile is making me nervous. It’s not like him to leave without it. He would sooner leave his phone behind. When was the last time we saw him?”

Are they talking to me? No one ever asks me anything. I am just a fly on the wall. They both start trying to calculate the last time they saw Grolly. The other one says that he definitely was around on his birthday which was in December. “How do you know?, the tall one asks him. “He gave me the most amazing gift. He remembered that I once mentioned that the Giving Tree was my favorite book as a child. He got me a signed first edition copy. So cool, so thoughtful. He is a great listener. They both look furtively towards the end table that is home to the troubling notebook. Grolly really did carry that notebook everywhere, the fact that it has sat there untouched for so long and that no one has seen or heard from him seems to be causing the other guy visible distress. “Maybe we should call someone?”. The tall one looks around, almost making eye contact with me. “Who would we call? Maybe we should call Grolly. You got his cell number?” The other one just shrugged his shoulders. Once again they eye the notebook, they don’t say it, but I hear it, Should we ? Dare we? As if they were kabuki performers, dancing in unison, the two skulk over to the end table. The tall one gingerly picks up the book. They both look as is if they are expecting a bolt of lightening or seismic shock to come down from the ceiling. Though the only thing that ever comes from that ceiling is the creaking of Mr. Walter’s walker as he paces back and forth upstairs. I have tried to get up there several times and see where it is he is pacing to, but that place is harder to get into than a vacuumed sealed package of lox. The tall one opens the notebook.

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

They look at each other. “Do you think he means us? They turn the page.

YES I MEAN YOU TWO.

HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN MISSING?

See you don’t even know.

The tall one looks at the other one, “This is really creepy. I heard about this in a book.” The other one says, “What book, I didn’t know that you read?” The tall one tugs on his ear, “Well I didn’t actually read the book, but remember that girl I dated. The blonde one.” “Was she the nurse or something?” “I have no idea what she did. She was very pleasant. But she didn’t like pineapple pizza and that was a deal breaker.” “Whoa, you broke up with the tall blonde one over pineapple pizza?” “Yeah?” “Wasn’t she really nice? She brought you chicken soup when you had the flu? “Yeah she was really nice, but pineapple pizza is a deal breaker. Anyways she told me all about this book, it was actually written by that guy you like so much. Gary something or other. In the book one of the characters leaves a notebook behind with messages. I feel like Grolly is watching us or something, maybe he read the book.” They turn their attention back to the notebook.

Well, knowing the two of you, I would assume that it is probably mid March. AM I RIGHT?

The two guys shake their heads in unison.

Well then its been two months and neither of you have noticed I was missing, let alone picked up a phone, or checked out this notebook for clues. I could be dead in a ditch somewhere.

The guys look guiltily at one another, shrugging their shoulders. They keep reading.

OK, it’s game time. We are going to play a little game. With prizes. I am going to ask a series of questions. If you can answer them you win cash prizes. Sounds fun?

The guys nod their heads, and keep reading. They don’t look all that excited. Personally I love a good game, and watching those two sweat can be fun.

First Question. For a prize of $1000.

What is my favorite drink/food?

Things are starting to get interesting. Though there is no way that these guys know the answer to this.

“Mountain Dew. I am certain of it.” “You sure?” Asks the other one. “Yeah, yeah he was always bring cases of it. Look in the fridge it’s full of Mountain Dew. Turn the page.”

It’s not Mountain Dew.

At this point the tall guy and the other guy are starting to get freaked out. They turn the page.

I never liked Mountain Dew. I bought it for you guys.

My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper and in terms of food Pizza and ice cream. Really rather simple.

“Wonder if he likes pineapple on his pizza.”, said the tall one.

Turn the page guys.

OK so you blew question one. Let’s see how you do with question two. The prize for this one is $5000.

For the record I knew that he hated Mountain Dew and was just buying it for the guys. I also know that he doesn’t like pineapple on his pizza, and his favorite ice cream is Cherry Garcia. So not fair that I can’t play.

For $5000, where am I from?

The tall one looks at the other one. The other looks back at him. Cmon guys think. The guy literally wore a baseball hat for his home team. I don’t think I ever saw him without it. Why can’t these two shmos think?

Seriously dudes? You have no idea? I wore a baseball hat with my home team on it every day. Wow.

Not going to tell you. You can figure it out. No prize on this one. Maybe the next question.

The other one turns to the tall one, “ We are really striking out here.”

Let’s try another question. Where did we meet?


Wow that is a tough one. I actually have no idea. I thought he was a childhood friend of the other one. But neither of them seem to know where he was from. The tall one looks at the other one, “You introduced me to him. Where did you know him from?” “ What are you talking about? I met him through you.” “What do you mean I met him here. I walked in one day and he was sitting here. I thought you knew him.” “I didn’t know him, I thought he was one of your friends from work or back home or something.” Now things are starting to get interesting. Even when he is gone Grollie keeps things spicy. The tall one and the other one both scratch their heads in disbelief. “I really thought he was someone you knew.” “Are you sure you didn’t know him?” They turn their attention back to the notebook.

Shocking, neither of you know.

We met at the laundromat and you told me to stop by sometime, so I did.

And to your credit, you guys were really nice to me and that I do appreciate. But guys, you didn’t notice I was missing, or if you did you took no action. You also don’t know my favorite foods, while I know that you guys like Cheese Curls and would kill for good Nachos. You have no idea where I am from while I know that you were born in Kenosha. You get the gist.

“I really thought you knew him for somewhere”, said the tall one. The other guy shrugs his shoulders. “I thought you brought him over.” “Turn the page.”

OK guys there is still time to redeem yourself and make some money in the process.

For the final question. What is my name? And no Grolly doesn’t count.

Oh I forgot the prize for this one is ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Yup you read that right, ONE MILLION DOLLARS, all you have to do is write my name down here and it is yours.

The tall one looks at the other one, the other one looks back at the tall one. “You don’t know, do you?” “Not a clue.” "I can't belive we don't know his real name."“Wow, closest I’ve ever come to a million bucks.”

Close ? My God they no where near close. A fly on the wall has a better shot at the prize than those two clowns.

“Wait there is more.” The tall one turns the page.

As a random act of undeserved kindness well actually it isn’t so random, because I learned a lot from you guys and I do owe you for that. But before we get to that, let me explain.

Open the box from Amazon that should have arrived today.

Yeah it was me that sent the book.

Open the book to the inside flap.

The tall one goes over and picks the book up from the very cluttered the coffee table. He hands it to the other one. “You do the honors.” The other one opens the book up to the back flap, and gasps rather audibly. “OH-MY-GOD, you will not believe this.” He hands the book back to the tall one. “It’s him. It’s freakin Grolly. Grolly freaking wrote this book and all the others.”

The tall one turns the page in the notebook.

So the fun and games are over, at least for now. But as a thank you for your participation, and your unwitting contribution to my new novel, I have a gift for you both. (Besides the copy of my latest book. Which I do hope that you actually read.) I know that Richard, aka the tall one keeps saying he hates my books but has never read them, and Paul, aka the other one, has possibly, at best read one of them or has heard a girlfriend talk about them. Read this one, you might learn something. Oh one more thing. Since you guys were such a great source of inspiration to me. I do have one parting gift for you.

I am giving you $20,000.

But with stipulations. You didn’t think you were getting off that easy.

I want you guys to use that money to take a trip around the world. See the sights, but not cell phones, Ipads, tablets etc. A full month of no digital distractions. Pay attention to the people around you, the places you are visiting. Experience the experiences, first hand, be in the moment. Be the moment. Also make sure to get a few of these notebooks. They are great for recording thoughts, impressions and memories. Watching, observing and writing, brings knowledge and strength. And lets face it you both could use some of that.