When Love Teaches You How to Be Softer

At some point in life you will see that love is not asking you to harden, defend and protect yourself. Rather, it asks you to become soft. This is not a weakness, this is emotional openness, a vulnerability and a desire to trust. Love is in a beautiful way of showing you that you do not have to bring your emotional armor everywhere. It shows you that gentleness may go hand in hand with strength and softness may result in deeper connection. Once love is a secure place, it alters your appearance in all aspects of life.

The reason why vulnerability is the new form of strength.

Most of us have always been brought up thinking that vulnerability is not to be tolerated but love makes us realize that vulnerability is a kind of emotional bravery. It needs integrity, attendance and trust. Love will show you that softness does not make one weak--it is real. Once you start to open your heart, and you are no longer afraid of being judged, you will find out how free emotional transparency can be. You begin to realize that you are not letting someone in to lose control. It is of seeking a higher level of connectivity, closeness and personal understanding.

When Gentleness is a Speech of Intercourse.

When it substitutes defensiveness, impatience and emotional guardedness, softness then becomes a love language. You start reacting emphatically instead of irritatedly, curiously instead of presuming, and compassionately instead of fearfully. Love also teaches you to listen in a new way, to create space to feel, to be open to feelings that you may have been rejecting and to appreciate soft speaking. This change in the relationships is the one that cultivates emotional trust. By making softness a kind of loving, you will have established a relationship environment that is welcoming to both partners as they feel safe to be completely themselves.

When Love Helps You Harden What Softened You.

Love tends to make you soft, curing the sections of you that had been conditioned to become hard. Pain, disappointment, and heartbreak in the past can have taught you that it is better to close down in order to protect yourself. However, once someone arrives with solidity, caring, and tolerance, your heart starts unlearning such defenses. You know not all people will mistreat you like other people did. Gradually, the walls which you were used to apply to are not needed any longer. Love teaches you that it is all right to open up again, it is all right to trust again and it is all right to allow someone to really see you.

Love is a process of healing and it is not immediate. It takes place in little, steady instances when you are not rejected but rather assisted. Such episodes form a new emotional template. You start to realize that you do not need to be guarded in order to be respected. Rather, love teaches you that delicateness can exist with limits. This emotional change will enable you to warm up to your partner as well as yourself. You are taught to take care of your own heart as you do of others.

The softening will increase as you understand that you need not protect your feelings anymore. You get to know that being sad, happy, scared, or hopeful does not make you dramatic, it makes you human. Love provides the environment in which feelings are not condemned. When you cease being secretive about your emotions, there is connection that occurs automatically. You give the gift of emotional truth to your partner, and in his or her turn, you get an understanding. Such emotional integrity enhances intimacy and forms a relationship centered on trust and not on pretense.

Love is a lesson of gentleness. Whenever one is emotionally with you when they listen to you, when they observe you, so without intervening, and without passing judgment upon you, you feel seen in a softer way that makes the heart soften. Being is more a way of expressing care than words themselves. It reminds you that you are worth attention of someone. In the long run, this stable presence is helpful in calming down ancient insecurities. Having entered into the stability of the relationship, you start to rely on it and sink into the comfort that love promotes.

Men also make you soft by teaching you to be patient. You get to know how to take your time, to listen and not to respond, to be generous to the time that before would have made you angry. This tolerance is granted to your partner, and to yourself. You start to believe that not all the moments need to be answered and perfect in the moment. Rather, you get to know the beat of compassion. You know, love is not to fight a fight but to grow. Patience is transformed into softness which makes the relationship stronger.

Self-compassion is one of the most beautiful changes that love can cause. You start becoming gentle with yourself when you feel the tender love. You no longer criticize your weaknesses so viciously and make space to develop. Love teaches you that you can be given kindness both internally and externally. This change has an impact on your emotional life, in all aspects. You start to establish healthier boundaries and respect your needs, as well as, appreciate your emotional well-being. Love is the mirror, which shows how deserving you are of gentleness.

The gentleness also appears in the manner of expressing love. You bring your hand and kiss with a purpose, you talk with tenderness, and communicate in a certain softness that was new to you. Love has a lesson to tell you that you can express love and be afraid of rejection. Your movements are more natural, real and expressive. This soft love makes intimacy stronger and solidifies your relationship. Softer love is an active one, not passive, but purposeful, full, and deeply human.

Eventually, love will teach you that it is not necessary to be hard-hearted only in relation to other people. It becomes integrated in your ways of moving in the world. You begin to treat friendships, family life and personal difficulties with greater compassion and emotion. Such increased mellowing enhances your life. It aids in building stronger relationships, lessening antagonism, and accepting instances of weakness with dignity. Love changes your mentality to the perspective of an armor to openness to be able to live more emotionally.

Softness also helps you to have faith in the process of love and not to coerce it. You get to understand how to leave relationships to play out without any rush or dictatorship. This submission produces emotional balance. Once you give up trying to be in control of everything, love becomes less restrained. You start to have faith in your partner, trust in your relationship, and trust in yourself. The trust augments the tenderness that love imparts, establishing an ambiance of relationship that is both well balanced, warm, and broad.

Final Thoughts

Love teaches you how to be gentler, heals the old, gives you permission to be vulnerable and foster emotional presence. It can assist you in substituting fear with trust, defensiveness with openness and self-criticism with self-compassion. When love feels calm, solid and conducive, softness becomes an automatic manifestation of connection. And it changes not only your relationships, it changes your relationship with yourself. Once love shows you how to be kinder, you start living with openness, politeness and richness of emotions. You get to know that the gentlest side of yourself is the one that is usually the most true- and the most powerful.