When did it become cool to be cruel?

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend amongst people I follow on social media. More and more people are self proclaimed haters, proud to make fun of other people and bully them. I’ve seen posts that say things like bring back bullying, some of you should have been bullied, etc. Seeing people I once wished to connect with saying things that condone hurting others just makes me want to unfollow them immediately. Why is it so cool to be cruel now? Why is making fun of other people something to brag about?

We all have known a bully, some of us have been bullied, hell, some of us maybe even bullied someone else. It’s never something to be proud of. I’m far more proud of people who admit they were being rude or mean, and apologize for their actions. Being mean for the sake of being mean just makes no sense to me, what is the gain there? Momentary feelings of power? If you need to feel powerful to tear others down, you’re no better than anyone else. It doesn’t give you some crown like you’ve just won a battle royale, and if anything it puts a glowing sign over your head that reads BULLY.

I’ve been on both sides of the coin. I was bullied most of my childhood, finding few solid friendships over the years. I was made fun of for just about anything and everything, from how I dressed or wore my hair, what celebrities or media I was into, down to where I sat at lunch. It seemed relentless until I left school, but even in recreational activities or jobs, I was still being made fun of. It seemed like I was forever just a punching bag for people to project their disdain about themselves or people who hurt them onto. I tried to remember that, they were hurting me because they were not healed and hurting in their own ways, but it didn’t stop the pain or anxiety.

I later found friends who I am still close with today, but even having good friends meant being glamoured by narcissists and otherwise shady people. I wanted to impress the wrong people and found myself poking fun of people for no real reason other than to fit in. I didn’t like who I was becoming, so I pulled away from the so called friends who were the inspiration for my cruelty. Of course, I was the new target of their ill words. I knew who they really were, and they didn’t like me exposing that reality. They, of course, are the same sort of people to post things like bullying is necessary or making fun of people makes them feel good. Again, why are these anything to brag about? I carry tremendous guilt for anytime I was mean for no valid reason, and can’t imagine how these people walk around like they’re not weighed down by the reminders of bad things they have done.

The people in power currently are not helping anything either. There’s a literal bully in the White House right now, surrounded by people that only endorse his name calling and harassment. He has made fun of every minority possible whilst also making fun of himself on a regular basis, blissfully unaware. Is it seeing this awful man get away with being rude showing people there’s no repercussions for being terrible to other people? To see his allies do the same things and be patted on the back over and over again. Have those in power emboldened the bullies to be their worst selves? It’s truly heartbreaking to see how much hurt it being handed out like a prize no one wants.

Let’s make kindness cool now. Let’s help people who need it, let’s lift each other up and tell each other we look nice today. Compliment a stranger, hold the door open for someone. Hell, even just keep quiet at the movies and clean up after yourself. There are tiny positive actions we can do every day to counteract the bullies and proud haters. May we lead with love instead of malice. Let’s all make kindness something to be proud of, and let the bullies actions be buried by the good left in the world.