What Mostly People Talk About.

Going through a divorce after 37 years of marriage would be absolutely devastating. You’ve built an entire life together and the loss of it will likely leave you asking profound questions about what comes next.

Grief has no timetable, so give yourself space to feel whatever comes up without judgment. It's normal to have all sorts of emotions come up — sadness, anger, regret. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, and talk to friends about it. Try not to bottle it up.

Turn to friends who knew you before the marriage, who remind you of who you were as an individual. Reconnect with old hobbies and interests, and spend time in nature — whatever nourished your soul back then. Rediscover parts of yourself that may have faded over the years.

With time and distance from the situation, you'll gain a new perspective. There will be freedom and opportunity you didn't have before. Try not to dwell on the past or what could've been. Focus that energy on the present and future.

Take things one day at a time. Be patient with yourself. ❝𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄❞

with one now who thinks it’s normal to cheat and say “I’m not suppose to dwell” on it.

And idk how to leave although I truly want to. I got her information from Steven he helped me hack into her phone retrieved all her whatsapp messages and text messages, both deleted and non-deleted messages including messages from her emails, she has been having an affair with a guy in college I have been having this feeling and changes in her, now I know all his promises of fidelity are all lies she broke the promise . Now I got lots of proofs to show she’s a narc, I’m filing for divorce ASAP.

Have reasonable standards, but never ever lower them just for the sake of keeping the relationship. Have reasonable standards, but never ever lower them just for the sake of keeping the relationship.I was, and am. I am 69, and I am old. Many things don’t work as well as they used to, but it’s been, and continues to be, a slow and gradual deterioration. It’s just entropy, the natural order of things. My spine is deteriorating. I have osteoarthritis everywhere, and my knees are often unhappy. I find it harder to fall asleep, and can never sleep through the night - every 2 or 3 hours I am up to pee.

When I say I am old, people say, oh, no, you’re not old, look at - and they will name people in their 80s and 90s we mutually know. I answer this way.

I am old, and I am damn proud of it, thank you very much. Those folks you mention, they are oldER, and I plan to be older too, no time soon, thanks again.

Yes, I work out, attend Pilates Reformer classes three times a week, do weight and kettlebell training, do Nordic walking with my beloved, also 68, and we bowl together all summer a few times a week on our summer bowling pass, stay busy and active.

I also eat carefully and in a healthy manner, avoid processed foods and added sugars as much as possible and watch my blood pressure (don’t start me on the cholesterol nonsense), but there are no guarantees a car won’t jump the curb and kill me tomorrow (happened to a friend’s sister-in-law), or that I won’t slip in the shower and crack open my skull (happens all the time time, almost happened to me once). I myself almost died at 32 when an ectopic pregnancy burst an abdominal artery and in the 15 minutes it took to get me into surgery, 3/4 of my blood supply was in my abdomen, so if I hadn’t beeen in the hospital when it happened, I would have died.

That gave me a different perspective, I suppose, about getting old. Since then, I have looked at every day as a gift. My husband and I perform a Sabbath service every Friday afternoon at an assisted care facility near our home, have for the past 10 or so years, and I always tell the attendees,

Treasure every moment, because no one, young or old, is guaranteed another.

There is no old age. We are forever in our twenties — at least, in our minds. You see, we only have to look in the mirror a few times a day; the rest of the time we are behind our faces. The debilities of advancing years come, for the most part, microscopically, day by day; we aren’t even aware it is happening. When it finally comes to our attention that a thing has changed, we look around and say, “Huh. When did this happen?” Old age is a total surprise. But, if we have prepared, or have been able to prepare, financially, it can be an unimaginably good time.

I am 55, I am accepting of the fact that I age each year and will ultimately die, it is part of the circle of life. I have also accepted that I slow down as I get older.

What gets me is the things I don’t anticipate, mostly the health issues, I was always a very healthy and averagely active person, and preferred unprocessed healthy home made meals.

Anyway, what has transpired…

About 5 years ago I was diagnosed with hyper familial high cholesterol… it is a hereditary form of high cholesterol and does not respond well to treatment, even though I did do cholesterol screenings every few years

The second issue I have is that I injured my back several years ago at work, this has severely impacted my mobility, which has had a direct influence on my body weight…

I have developed osteoarthritis and osteoporosis as a direct result in the spine surrounding my injury as well as in my hips, this also requires chronic medication to manage my pain levels.

It has also been discovered that I have a tendency towards abnormal blood clotting… my blood is like syrup essentially and clots, easily, so I have to take blood thinners because I have a stroke risk as a result.

And now, because I am battling with my weight, and constant pain, I have also developed high blood pressure…

I hate not being mobile, I hate that I am limited with how my pain can be managed because I am allergic to opiates (the good stuff), I am terrified of becoming addicted to pain medication, and I absolutely hate drinking pills, I hate being in pain all the time, I hate not being able to sleep properly, I hate that my legs are constantly cramping, I hate not being able to do what I want to do.

So even though I knew that I was going to get old, slow down and ultimately die, I did not know that I would battle with my health, and all the issues it would bring with it.

I am 66 years. For me time is moving so fast and three weeks ago got my first grand daughter. I do not have much trouble with the age or my body. It is very loyal to me and keep me in good form. May be I should say my spirit is keeping my body in good shape.

I do not think I think about old and age. Many young people cannot keep up to my driving or my daily schedule from 6AM in the morning to midnight each day. It is all in your mind.

I wake up at 5.40am. Only 20 minuets to prepare for my morning meditation at 6 AM. I participate with Dr. Yong’s morning meditation which is available to every one on you tube.

At 5.50 I stop and pick up my food and go to work. Only way I will have my toast of bread leisurely with butter and marmite while driving to work. Enjoying the nature and weather. I arrive at work at 7.30 and start my work. Finish my tea and great the people around and be nice to every one around. I take a walk from time to time when I feel like and drink lot of water.

Sharp at 12PM I heat my food and sit in a sound proof room and have my lunch alone. After lunch I call one of my friend and just see how they are and share what ever in my mind. Finish my lunch break at 1PM.

Continue my work until 4PM and take a nice drive home and open my computer and finish my morning meditation which I started. Then check out any other messages to respond soon.

Then check the three people on you tube I am following. They are all adventure travelers in nature and live in the wilderness. Have my dinner between 7 and 8 Pm. While sharing with my wife and daughter.

Back to my room and listen and research how to have a retirement with adventure life living in a van or mobile home. I have to go to bed by 12 AM and today already 12.30. I have to get up early at 5.40.

So I am transforming and have really no time to think about getting old or gossip. I love to meet young people and talk about any thing adventurous. Thinking about getting an old Ambulance and modify to be a camper van.

So life is exciting and naturally we will come to a stage to deal with age and when it comes let it come. Lets deal with it at that time. Not to procrastinate now about it.

I am 54 and chose not to have children. One of my sisters had to move back in to my parents’ home with her children and pregnant with her third. When she gave birth to a beautiful boy, and all the work that went along with it, I knew I didn’t have it in me to take care of a child. This is no reflection of her as a wonderful mother, she was. It just took all the romance out of having kids with the all nighters of crying, feeding, changing and more crying. I couldn’t do it.

When my husband and I decided to marry, I let him know that it most likely wouldn’t happen. He thought about it and decided he loved me more than a potential child and was willing to be child less. I don’t have regrets, I still don’t think I could give a child everything it needs emotionally or physically. Making that choice instead of following the regular married a few years and then having a few kids like all of our friends wasn’t easy. They couldn’t wrap their heads around choosing not to have kids. I finally said I couldn’t, it was easier than explaining why I didn’t want them. Defending my decision hasn’t been easy, but I am still glad I made that choice.

Having children so they take care of you when you are older is a horrible reason to have a child.

Update: Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and kind words! I just want to add something that might make a few people understand what else went into my choice. I was an unwanted child and was told so. I dealt with a lot of mental abuse I didn’t want to pass on. Half of my life was in therapy trying to come to terms with the thought I was worthy enough to take up space on the planet.

I DO think of old age, however, there is no guarantee. What do single people do in their old age? The possibilities of passing on the abuse were always in the forefront of my mind and I didn’t want to do that to a child.

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Agreed. Generally people are caught unaware. Being unaware is too liberal a term I use. THEY KNOW WHAT IS WRITING ON WALL; THEY SEE THE WALL BUT WRITING THEY DO NOT READ, RATHER DO NOT WANT TO READ.

One fine morning (or day or night) something awful happens that shakes them up, from head to tailbone, nay, to their toes). That was the sequence of events that I also followed and realized next moment that I had entered the old age, rather agonizingly. I do not claim innocence; I missed a few signals. Patella was slightly shifting and knees were sending very brief pain messages. . . . but I though I was still young at the ripe age of 64!

So, yes. People are not ready generally; they wait for the cut off date which proves to be a befallen misery for them. Lucky are those who enter seamlessly.

Thanks for reading the above

Can people stay fit through old age?

In my experience, it’s all mind over matter. What quality of life do you want?

Don’t allow your mind to get old, because your body will follow, rapidly.

Push yourself always.

I may be a genetic freak, but I highly doubt it. Mostly I just won’t deal with the possibility of getting old - it’s not an option. I have too much fun.

UPDATE: Thank you for all the interest and encouragement. You guys helped me stay on track and keep as much physicality as possible. I feel it’s important to show you my progress or decline.

I really like this pic because it's in the natural sunlight of a forest within walking distance from my door. My tan is natural from fun times at the cottage, and a tan really adds to my definition - it's hard to believe but my body fat is over 22% in this photo. If I ever compete, I will definitely look into spray-on tanning.

Speaking of natural I feel I need to promote the fact that it's possible to get "cut" naturally in old age, without HRT or anything else. I want to remain totally natural but recovery from injury and progress is so much slower than when I was young but I'm ok with that.

Time for an update: Two Years Later at 62.

Most people are probably not ready for retirement.

Some may have their finances all in order, but what they will do in terms of time is a wholly different ball-of-wax. Some will find fulfillment ins volunteer work. Others may travel but both travel & volunteering can only succeed as long as their health permits.

People like me accept we’re old when:

A lady older than me helps me across the street.

People buy tickets to watch me try and walk on snow and ice.

People agree with me when I say I’m shitty nine years old.

I must be old when I can’t find Lawerence Welk on television

My barber says he’s not running a magic shop.

My landline phone looks like this:

(Pinterest)

7. My picture hangs in all post offices with the caption: call police if you see this man driving.

8. I knew I was old when I asked why a cup of coffee costs six dollars. I said I only was asking how much ONE cup costs.

9. I get advertisements from funeral homes offering discounts.

10. I went to the doctor to get a physical only to be asked, “why bother?”

11. I take out a bank loan to buy groceries.

12. I take a shower after using the toilet; it’s how I clean myself.

13. I’m old enough to have been born before my housekeeper's mother was.

14. My grocery store checkout line sells movies of the war where I was a soldier.

15. I remember when a movie ticket costs $.75 and the popcorn cost $.50

16.I’m so old I remember feeling outraged when fast food hamburger prices were raised to $.29

17. My sister is a great-great-grandmother. I’m a great-grandfather.

18.I’m so old I remember telling my university I only had $100 to spend. They asked when could I come.

19. I remember when I only got three stations on television.

20. Being shitty nine beats the alternative.