What is a Lie?

As children, we probably all heard the saying, “Liar, liar pants on fire.” And there is also the quote by Sir Walter Scott, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” We teach our children that deception is a terrible thing to do, and yet we tend to do it ourselves. The very first book of the Bible addresses the subject of lying. God even says He hates a liar, and yet it has become a very big part of many people’s lives. Many a politician has mastered it. We tend to brush off our lies by calling them “white” lies or making excuses for lying by saying it was done in the best interest of others. However, problems do arise when we choose to lie. So, what causes us to lie?

The White Lie

When we make a mistake or have been caught doing something we shouldn't have been doing we might deny it. When confronted it is sometimes easy to say we were not involved. We see this happen a lot with children. The child’s face is covered in chocolate, yet they deny having eaten any. Often this becomes a joke and is laughed off or excused. This can cause the child to feel like he or she has gotten away with it. The next time, however, it may be something far more serious that they try to get away with.

Adults often do this at work. You may claim you had nothing to do with a mistake or breakdown when in fact you caused it. Not only can other co-workers get the blame, but it can create distrust between the management and your co-workers, or between you and the co-workers themselves. Especially if coworkers know or are sure you are the one who caused an issue.

Shifting the Blame

We often see this in government. A politician makes a mistake or bad call and then makes excuses as to why it happened or blames someone else for their reaction, usually another politician. They will say something like, the mistake would not have been made if it were not for 'this or that issue' or 'this particular person'. It's also true that people often claim ignorance of their mistakes. If you know the truth and claim you were unaware, it is still shifting the blame. This can come up in marital arguments. We do not want to lose the fight, so we put the blame back on our spouse.

We also see this with children. “Joe did it!” a child might say while pointing the finger at his brother. It is better to have someone else punished than take the blame and face possible punishment ourselves. We can easily see how this could be an issue in a business situation.

I once had a series of lies told that affected me, which caused me to lose my job. Why did I lose it? It was all due to someone else not taking the blame. A coworker was supposed to give me information on some products. He gave me bad information multiple times. Soon, I found myself in trouble, and although I explained the situation, the other person denied it all. He was believed and I was let go. My job was over because someone shifted the blame. It’s not fair, but it happens all the time.

A Lie to Fit the Story

Sometimes people work things up in their minds. Maybe they are angry, sad, or anxious, so they run scenarios, trying to figure it out. Their imagination takes over, and soon they start to believe their version of the story to be true. This can happen when you don't have the full story. You are left with unanswered questions and subconsciously need answers. In desperation to understand, you create scenarios that might fit the current situation.

Once you have created this scenario, you can come to believe it is true, especially if the truth cannot be confirmed. Then you begin to tell others your version of events. You may even accuse someone of doing or saying something they did not. Unfortunately, your storyline is not true and not only causes damage to other people but can also create hard feelings. It is even possible that once you have the full information, you won't believe it because your storyline seems more plausible to you.

Lying to Protect a Friend

People are sometimes too loyal. Let’s say you see your friend or possibly a family member do something wrong, and then you are asked by a third party, Who did it? You suddenly feel the need to cover for the friend and either say you don't know or make up a story so the finger will not point toward them. The problem here is that it can and probably will fall apart. Not only will the friend be found out, but now you are wrapped up in it. Even if the friend is never found out, you know what they did, and you will probably feel guilty about lying. At least I hope you would.

Peer Pressure Lies

Something happens and all your friends, classmates, or coworkers decide it is best to keep it quiet. They all make a pact of some sort not to tell the truth. Suddenly, you feel pressured into going along or becoming the “snitch”. These are loose webs to be in because eventually someone decides they cannot take the pressure and tells the truth. When this happens, you get dragged down along with everyone else. The longer the lie continues, the worse the betrayal or punishment often is. If everyone does remain quiet, there is often still a lot of tension between the liars.

The Lazy Lie

Avoiding making the effort is a common lie. This type of lie happens when you do not want to do something. Things like the following are said, “No, I am sick today, can’t do it.”, “I have to do homework so I cannot do chores.”, or something like, “I am really bogged down with work today, can Sue do it?”. You can surely think of a lot more examples. Whatever it is, we do not want to do it, so we make up a story to get out of it. The problem is that most people see right through these types of lies and say nothing. Lies like this often give us a reputation of being either a procrastinator or a lackadaisical person.

Lies can become a habit and ultimately cause distrust or stress. Who wants to hold on to all that deceit anyway? Lies must be remembered, and it’s easy to say something truthful that messes up your lie, or we may forget how the first lie went the first time we said it. That alone gets many people caught. The takeaway? It is so much easier to just tell the truth!