What Exactly Is Free Will and Does It Truly Exist?

Free will is a concept that people can make their own choices. Are choices actually real or are they just a figment of the imagination? Recently, I made a decision that I greatly regret. There were so many external factors involved that half of me thought that perhaps I didn't have any free will to make that decision.

The question is: do people make decisions based solely on their personal beliefs and their own thoughts, or are they greatly swayed by external factors?

Take an example:

I decided to date this girl because I was lonely. This loneliness was amplified by the fact that an old crush was dating someone happily. I felt a need to compensate. It was so strong that I could physically feel the loneliness.

I felt a guilt from what I had done before. I had once rejected this girl and told her we could just be friends. I made bad decisions at this time as well. After my old crush chose to not date me, I knew what it felt like to be rejected. and I wanted to make it better for this girl. I was overcome with anxiety and guilt.

Does this mean that I didn’t act out of free will? I was influenced by external factors. Every time I spoke with my old crush, I increasingly wanted to find someone to date for myself. I was lonely and alone. I felt unwanted and unloved.

I also failed to grab the attention of a different girl that I was interested in. This made me feel like I wasn’t worth it. I started to think of how other people don’t even have someone who likes them. I thought of how lucky I must be. This one girl likes me. Wracked with indecision, I finally made a choice. (Ironically.)

I felt as though I owed this girl because she liked me. I owed her a chance.

Ridden with past guilt and having had a good day speaking with her, I jumped the gun. Impatient of the concept of having a girlfriend, I went for it even though I didn’t really like her. I didn't. I liked her as a friend, but we just didn't mesh. She made me feel bad about myself and made me anxious. It wasn't her fault; my reaction was the problem.

With all these factors, I made the decision. Did I make it myself? I did make the decision on my own. However, I would not have made the decision if she didn’t like me. I wouldn’t have made the decision if I hadn’t once hurt her. I wouldn’t have made the decision if I didn’t feel the petty need to put someone’s name in my location. Yes, that is a pressure I felt.

I was so lonely and desperate that I lowered my standards (not that she isn’t worth it—she’s great. It’s just a concept of settling.)

So I settled for the security of someone loving me more than I love them. The idea of having a girlfriend was so appealing that I didn’t once think of who it would be. I just went for it.

I wasn’t thinking properly. I was overcome with emotions. I was so lonely.

I was so desperate.

I did act out of my own free will. But I wasn’t thinking properly at all.

I do think that free will exists. However, people sometimes act in unreasonable ways when swayed by external factors. I acted out of free will, but it was heavily influenced.

I personally do think that free will exists, but with times so social and the human influence so strong, decisions can seem coerced and forced even when they aren't.

The important thing, in my opinion, is to listen to your heart so you can utilize free will well: with minimal external influence.