What Comes Around, Goes Around

I've been asked before why I have such a low opinion on society in general. In people. And I find that these naively optimistic people have had no real betrayals. No one had ever done something that just...tainted their views on the world.

My view of the world has been tainted since I was too small to understand that that was what it was.

From sexual trauma to attempted kidnapping to simpler infractions from those whom at one point you loved. There are different delineating levels of betrayal, but they all chip away at your view of the world.

And those who have never experienced something that just...made them want to turn their back on the world, well...I both envy and pity you...for when someone does finally break your heart in some way...it'll hit much harder than someone who is expecting it.

A year and a half ago my wife and I took in someone who we knew when he was little. I have written about him on here...and well...it's a shame what society can do to a person.

And it's a shame what people do to themselves. The bridges they burn out of pride or some misguided idealism.

This boy...he called me up one day in tears begging me to bring him up from Houston to where I am in Illinois. When he got here he was half-dead. This is not an exaggeration. He is diabetic...he hadn't had a steady supply insulin in months, nor a steady supply of food. He was living in a tent (which we found out had a nest of water moccasins under it).

So, we took him in. Paid for his medicine and made sure that he was being taken care of. Now, technically he is of age, however, due to trauma he is developmentally behind. His brain is younger than his age. So, my wife and I took it upon ourselves to try and teach him how to be a functional human being. To teach him responsibilities, how to properly clean something, how to cook, how to be an adult...

He wasn't paying for anything. Not a thing. And I told him before he came here that he wasn't going to live here for free. He was going to contribute in some way...because I'd be damned if I was going to bring someone into my house, pay their way through life, and allow them to sit on their asses and do absolutely nothing. And so I gave him things to do around the house.

Well, after a year and a half, he decided we were slave drivers and moved in with someone he just met...which, fine...whatever...fuck us and everything we've done for you...while all he did was lie and take advantage of us because we didn't beat him. (his words)...

So, when he threw a fit and left, I told him he was no longer welcome here. We gave him chance after chance...tried to help him and do everything we could for him to make him into someone who isn't just a worthless bum. But he didn't want that.

He wants to be in a victim mind-set and assume that everyone should just take care of him while he does nothing because he didn't have the childhood he wanted.

Boohoo, man, everyone...every single person in the this world has a sob story...that's not an excuse to mistreat the people who help you...

So, I discovered today that he decided to charge a bunch of shit for his xbox from my credit card, as apparently he still had the number stored on his xbox account.

Like I wouldn't noticed this? Like I don't check my account balance or transactions or noticed that almost twenty-five dollars is suddenly missing from my account...

Sometimes no matter what you do, you will still get fucked over in the end. Someone will always try to take advantage of you and then blame you when you stop putting up with it. People will use and abuse you without a second thought to anything because...why not, right?

But it's fine. I've taken care of it with my bank and cancelled the card. And I'll just sit back and let karma do her work. Because the wrongs he's done to us will come back on him. And when he gets his comeuppance, well...I hope it knocks him on his thieving, lying, pathetic, no-good ass...

And I can rest easy.

Was I angry when I discovered this...of course I was...but, what else can I do? So...I'll get my money back and a new card...and I'll go on with my life and wait...

Wait until the day karma delivers...and however that happens...I'll just have to be satisfied.

It's not even the amount...that's not the point. It's purely a matter of principal. What we did for him...any of it...all of it...means and meant absolutely nothing. Everything he ever told us was meaningless. Every expression of love. Every time we comforted him. Every minute of every day with him for the last year and a half was meaningless. It all amounted to zero. And that...it sucks...it makes me trust even less than I did already. Tarnishes my views of the world just a bit more. And that's a shame.

It's a shame because if he would have let us help him...he would have ended up a well rounded person. But he doesn't want that for himself. And, well...it's no longer my issue.

My faith in humanity wasn't very high to begin with...I wanted to believe that I could help him. But you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. No matter what you do, or how hard you try...if they don't want to grow and change or accept the help that you're offering, there's absolutely nothing anyone can do for them. They can't even help themselves at that point.

And sometimes...sometimes you just have to cut your losses and walk away. Because otherwise it'll destroy you. And I refuse to allow someone to ever have that much power over me. I refuse to give them that power over me.

And neither should you.