We’re not built for spending 24/7 with our partner.

The Global Times reported “the Chinese city of Xi'an has seen a record-high number of divorce requests in recent weeks, with some districts even maxing out the number of appointments available at local government offices”

One of these reasons is thought to be due to many people being quarantined in close quarters, creating an especially inflammatory environment for marital feuding.

Now add to that most recently the New York Times reporting on “Mounting data suggests that domestic abuse is acting like an opportunistic infection, flourishing in the conditions created by the pandemic”

It poses the question as to do we really know our partner? Is the relationship really as good as we thought?

Before the world came to a stand still and we all had / have to sit down, how much time did we really spend with our significant other?

Spending 24-7 with someone is proving way harder than I had anticipated.

Great, I thought, this will be amazing, having been together for a year we both have careers that means at times we wouldn’t see each other for a couple of weeks or we’d be like passing ships and spend the odd day or two together.

Reality is daily bickering - some small disagreements others full on screaming and slamming of doors. Each trying to give the other one some personal space be it one in the bedroom (usually me) the other in the living room.

It’s bought up feelings and emotions from past relationships that clearly have affected us deeply and haven’t quite dealt with like we had thought. The longing to be with family who, for them are in another State and elderly (which had added another stress and concern/ anxiety), for me are in another country (with one being furloughed, the other working in healthcare and a 5 hour time difference).

The missing of friends and being social is different for us both. Mine live closely so I’ve been able to go on the odd walk or even have a socially distanced workout with. But for him, they are not so close and add to that the fear of catching the virus due to preexisitng conditions and being racially profiled, going out is not so much a option but has to be a need.

Working from home has become the norm. For my partner some of his job can be done from home but it’s proved difficult as it’s not a 9-5 job and he’s having to adapt to certain parts of his job now changing due to this pandemic. I was laid off just before we had to really sit down, so as with a lot of people finding a new job is tough especially when I’m a non US citizen. The days seem to go by quickly despite not doing anything. Until recently when I found a local charity to go help pack food boxes which has filled a few bouts for two or three days.

I love my partner but some days I struggle to see if we will still be together when we return to a new normal.

Truth is: sitting down, being forced to sit down, for over 3 months, is really testing for any relationship and I really hope that I’m not the only one feeling like this.