Want to go on a Date?

In just a few months, I will be 59. I haven't been on a date in seven years. Five years if one would count the time an old flame came into town and we had dinner. By the end of the meal, it was clear, that our relationship was best to stay in the friendship zone. That unusual experience was so neutral that I didn't count it as date. At my age, do I really need a partner?

In recent days, my DoorDashing days haven't been consistent because of tax time preparation. When my office walls begin to close in on me and the numbers begin to blur, I long to escape the weight of the publishing company. Work avoidance of one company to go and work the other gig is absolutely insane. Yet, I look forward to the days I can close the office door and turn the car key to hit the roads with a sense of freedom. Today, I am thankful for a day off from BOTH jobs and can ponder an odd chain of events and enjoy some writing time.

Three events I need to account for. Let me make it clear, I do not consider myself desirable because I am old, short, stubby and way over weight. I am oblivious to advances of men until I am shocked that they are remotely interested. I am always blindsided by their confessions and usually end up tucking tail and running. Today, I would like to introduce you to three unfortunate souls who were met with narrowed eyes when they asked me out.

So dear reader, let's start by me giving the lucky recipients their anonymous nick names. The first lucky guy is Taco Bell Boy. The second guy's name is Cracker Jack. The last guy had been lovingly tagged Baldy. I do apologize if that is offensive to some but the nickname is important to his story.

Baldy is the last story so I would love to introduce you to Taco Boy. I live in a small town in Northern Michigan. The restaurant selection is very limited so I frequent stops were I get to know the locals who lunch at those stores. Often, I enjoy an interesting conversation with other's while we are waiting for our food. Taco Boy was one person I had always enjoyed a conversation with.

Summer days passed and he was at Taco Bell at least three times a week. I never questioned the kid. He's an adult and he can eat what ever he wants. Most days, I just waved but one day he waved me over to his table. As I waited for him to slurp down his mouthful of food, I watched my son enter the building. My son walked up to us. He stopped behind Taco Boy out of respect for the conversation taking his place.

"Will you go out with me this weekend?" Said Taco Boy.

With wide eyes I looked at him surprised. With darting eyes, I saw my son's expression to what he was hearing. He looked at me then back at the guy in front of me. His body slunk and then revolt in disgust appeared on his face as he stepped in front of Taco Boy and said, "Well Taco Boy, my mother is off limits.", said my son.

With a surprised look on his face, Taco Boy greeted my son with warm acknowledgement of past friendship and a lot of embarrassment. Taco Boy looked at me then my son confused. My son doesn't look Native American so one wouldn't think we belong to each other. For the first time, I think, he finally noticed my age and realized he was near my son's age. I declined his request and picked up my order, ran to the car and waited for my son to come to the car. Taco Boy hasn't been seen since that day.

Let me take a moment here. I am no cougar. What part of the hundreds of grey hair on my head would indicate youth? What 38 year old would have this many grey's? Now folks, I am not stupid, personality make a lot of the desirability factor. Intelligence is a factor. Yet, I just have an issue considering anyone younger. I, ah, what do I say to that? NO! I have no interest in training a puppy.

One thing I have found with DoorDashing is how challenging it can be on the human body. When one gets in and out of a car for work and back, that is only four entries and exits of the car. This amount of movement in and out doesn't affect the individual. However, on a normal day, I enter and exit my car on an average of 80 times in one day. This does affect my body in various ways. Mysterious aches and pains began to emerge and I began to search for a chiropractor to help.

Cracker Jack came into my life. Due to a spasmatic episode in my lower back, I followed a recommendation and visited Cracker Jack for the first time. With a giant snap crackle and pop session done, I was schooled in the proper procedures to getting in and out of the car. Weeks went by and I was noticing "special attention" during adjustments. I was recovering very well and I knew I had his favor and so did his wife.

I felt comforted when I would walk into the office and see her there. I knew I wouldn't be bothered that day. Adjustments were healing and appropriate when she was there. One day, I had caught a cold and coughed so hard a rib popped out of place. The pain of coughing drove me to make a surprise visit to his office and his wife was not there. Bizarre things always happen to me and this was one of those moments. If he had rope in his office I would have been subjected to the fastest hog tie event in the chiropractic field. What? Seriously it gets better. On my way to leave the office I paid my bill, and as I tucked the receipt into my purse, he turned to me in front of four other waiting room witnesses, and announced that he LOVED ME. Ah, great Mr. Married Cracker Jack. Once again, I must wield the following sentence to: unrequited love.

I understand open marriages. I understand polyamorous relationships. I know that many believe in all sorts of love. I just did not expect to be hunted in a Doctor's office. I am not willing to be the toy or side piece. Even if he divorced her and came knocking at my door, he would be turned away for professional violations. I just don't respect him so he has no chance.

Coffee Shop Baldy.

Phones are amazing pieces of equipment. I have a computer in my hand and can do many things on my phone that I would need to do in my office. As I drive, I love to listen to podcast to learn new things as I drive. I am often alone and I have earbuds in so I can be entertained. Many days, I am on a zoom meeting as I am zooming around town delivering food.

One Thursday, I made a Starbuck's visit. As I was checking in the order, intently listening to the publisher run an assessment. I was so focused on listening to the meeting I didn't know that Baldy was speaking to me. I had no idea he was talking to me. I was double tasking and unaware of my surroundings. I looked up to see everyone staring at me with Baldy smiling. With a puzzled look, I grabbed the bag and dashed out the door.

Thursday night I picked up my grandson from school and noticed his runny nose. Friday I was fine as I worked in the office. Saturday the flu or near death experience hit. I was down in bed for a week. I didn't dash at all. I just couldn't. I didn't even get my grandson the following week for his visit because how hard I was hit.

Dashing began and I emerged through the doors to be greeted by the young ladies. Their smiles were huge. He took one look at me and began to "busy" his self with work. A week passed and his "busy" episodes were becoming grander. I finally slipped the girl a note asking her what he said.

Apparently he asked me out on a date and I totally snubbed the poor man. I knew I had to fix this or the man was going to go manic. I am sure his coffee shop would benefit greatly but it wouldn't fix the issue. I trudged into the store to pick up another coffee order and he began his "busy" work.

As he bagged the cups of coffee I noticed his name stitched in white. As he walked away I yelled, "Baldy, Stop!" The man stopped dead in his tracks. Finally, I made him face his demon, me, and listen to me.

I explained how I was wearing earbuds and I was in an important meeting. I asked him what he said and he did not fess up to asking me on a date. However, he was smiling when I left. I have no idea if he will ever get brave enough to try again. I think I would go. For now, I will work on erasing the tag word "Baldy" from my mind now just incase.

Now, to end this writing, Baldy has been his tag now with my friends and daughter. I guess, seeing that SOMEONE did catch my attention, my friends went on a mission to view Baldy. He was easy to tell apart in the cafe because everyone had hair. Then my daughter fessed up to a secret visit. I guess they were all losing hope that I would start dating again. Perhaps they wanted to see what my type was so they could find someone close to Baldy. The joke is on them, he wasn't on my radar. I will keep on dashing in and out of his shop until he gets brave once again. If he doesn't, his loss.

So, to answer the dating question. Do I want to go on a date? I believe I am opening to the possibility of dating again. The problem with that is time. To make room for quality relationship building is very difficult with my schedule. Not to mention all the travel I have to do for my publishing company. Making room for a commitment would be a challenge. I am open to a good challenge so, yes, I believe I am ready to go on a date.