Wake Up

Listen or read about anything about spirituality or what life really means and it usually starts with questioning what you know.

I enjoy a good story. A story about overcoming, seeking truth, becoming more. We watch movies and read books. Stories about lives and loves. About hardships and pain. They are all a part of a structure - whether current, past or future - they show societal structure: organized, controlled, measured, and judged.

These are things you already know. Strangely it started for me on August 28th, 2021 (82821) - this exploration, this thinking. I had been listening to several podcasts and reading a lot about the subject of Awakening. But I'm trying to find what makes sense to me. Then, of course, I thought it would help me to write down my thoughts. Then I found Vocal.

I questioned what to call this post. What am I doing? "Wake Up," I thought to myself. Yes, that sounds like what I'm trying to say. I heard my mind echo back "The sleeper must awaken," which, hopefully, you know is from Dune. I wonder if that line will still exist in the upcoming version out this fall 2021.

I'm searching to find out more. Daily, we each wake up, go to work, eat food, pay bills, and, hopefully, live somewhere decent with someone decent. Over time we will grow old and eventually die. It's the cycle of life and the same for all. I've heard proposed on a recent podcast there may be multiple lives, but I'm not ready for that honestly... this one is enough. In trying to learn more about this, there is a lot to sift through... a LOT. And it's hard to figure out what it all means.

I was raised to believe the point of all this was to create a place where God, the creator of all things, could set up a structure for us to follow. A structure where we fuck up, he forgives, we believe and he saves. Then our lives are his, we bear fruit (grow as a believer) by doing good things for people... not that it gets you anything but rewards later... remember, your ticket into the holy place was paid for. You just had to say the words and you're in. But only if you really think the words and what happened two thousand years ago are true. True to you. Truly based on what you've read yourself or whomever you happen to be speaking with about it.

As a child, you believe everything you're told. Some kids get pretty upset finding out Santa isn't real. The magic of Santa is such an event, with so much around it. To be told later, "Yeah, that was just for fun... for you! We did that for you! Did you have fun with that? Did you like that? But it's not real."

So we are told what is real and believe it. But is it real? Does belief make reality? BTW - autocorrect wanted me to make it say make a reality... interesting.

This is why today so many folks are taking sides. To try and find truth from a trusted source. So we look outside to others, others like us, so they can reveal what is real... for us. For our lives, for our story, for our journey.

I'm trying not to do that. But it's hard. I felt like watching videos, listening to podcasts, and reading about these concepts will help me see the paths others have taken. Right? Like checking a map. "Oh, that's how you get from here to there? Ah, yeah, that path is a little rough, isn't it? Ah, shit, that is steep... ok, ok, I'll give it a try and see if I can get there." But outside influences are just that - external. We have intuition, creativity, we experience coincidence, Deja Vu, we dream... we feel... but we keep getting distracted by the structure of it all. All the external input. The structure is meant to keep this huge population on the earth in check. Otherwise where would we be? Chaos.

I'm not sure how being an individual creates chaos but it would make everyone harder to control. We each have our own path. It comes from within. After all, we are conscious and sentient.

If we were simply meant to be cogs in a societal engine why does our mind think and dream of other things?

So that's what this is. A journal for me as I work through some shit. You're welcome to come along but know that your path, your journey is your own. I'm just trying to pull back the curtain of my life (trying to find where it opens honestly) and, hopefully, you can do the same in your own way. It will probably be a bumpy ride. But I'm committed. I continue to feel displaced in this world even though I have a great job, great family, great kids. I'm very blessed. But, I'm starting to feel like there is something else out there - something beyond the structure of what others, just like me, have been told.

Something more.