Valentine's Day?!..Bah-humbug!!

VALENTINE'S DAY?!...BAH-HUMBUG!

When Valentine’s Day approaches, many of my single girl and guy friends find themselves going through a myriad of emotions. They find themselves, as do I, just trying to get through the day virtually unscathed. The day is met with angst for the impending barrage of questions from nosy and curious relatives. Where is your Valentine? You don’t have anyone you wanna spend the day with? What ever happened to that one (girl or guy)? Leave me alone!..Valentine’s Day..Bah-humbug!

Even when attempting to accomplish simple things like grocery shopping can be a challenge on Valentine’s Day. The obnoxiously obscene amount of flowers and balloons obstructing your pathway up and down the aisles and hindering your gauntlet-like dash for the cash register remind you with every step of one more thing you won’t be getting today. Not to mention the judgemental stares from strangers. Their strong side-eye game, and their down the nose look of disapproval can be spine-chilling. Couldn’t find anyone to spend the day with, huh? Look at her/him, all lonely and pitiful! Ok, may that part is just all in our heads. But I swear, every old lady in the grocery store can sniff out my singleness, with as much certainty that I have that the smell oozing from her pores is Ben-gay! Although these scenarios may occur the other 364 days of the year, on Valentine’s Day, it can feel much more intense.

For all of the trepidation that is abounding, there is still an underlying sense of relief, peace and hope for the future. Many of us have experienced some degree of heartbreak, more often than we probably would have liked to, but, once healed, often provides us with a retrospective sense of relief. The dodging of the proverbial bullet. You reminisce on the love you thought you had. But then you remember the price you paid for that love, and become relieved. Relieved that there is no longer the heavy yoke of love being adorned as a burden upon your neck. Then, for some, there is a sense of peace. No longer being subjected to whatever mental, emotional, or physical discourse that may have held us captive.

Once we have an opportunity to work through all of the emotional side of the day, we can actually be hopeful. Hopeful, because what does Valentine’s Day represent? It signifies that there is someone in the whole entire world that you love and that loves you. And as long as you breathe, there is hope that one day, you will have a reason to celebrate love’s signature day. Although I actually say “Bah-humbug!” to Valentine’s day, mostly in jest, as I have grown older, I have become more grateful for the day than not. Each opportunity I get to experience another year of life, I am grateful. The fact that I have family that I love, and that love me, I’m grateful. The fact that I have friends and acquaintances that genuinely appreciate me, and enjoy spending time with me, I’m grateful. There is a saying that it’s never too late to become what you might have been. To that end, I say it’s never too late to have the love you have always wanted. The only way to alleviate that possibility is to give up on love. Remembering that there is no risk without reward, to take the risk to love and to be loved has the potential to yield the reward of the love of a lifetime.

Love, and the day on the calendar that we use to celebrate it, has its ups and downs, ins and outs, triumphs and tragedies. Love can take you on an emotional rollercoaster.

Sometimes you cry inside after you tell that ex of yours to keep on walking. There are days when you have to tell yourself that you just don’t want no more drama, and that you’re not gon’ cry, because all you really want is to be happy! Even when you thought you could make it work, you looked your lover in the face and told them I try, but love don’t live here anymore. You can hold your head up high and look to the future, because deep in your heart, you know that there’s nothing better than love. You embrace the future and look forward to the possibilities.You look forward to the opportunity to find a new love. Then your next Valentine’s day can be one that you express gratitude for finding the one who wants you to be their girlfriend/boyfriend, the one who wanna be your lover!

Which brings me to my Anti-Valentines day playlist. This list is comprised of songs that reflect the tumultuous nature of the inner conflict that can exist when dealing with relationships, but evolves into a more hopeful resolve. The sadness, the frustration, the grief, give way to the prospect of new love.

Emotional Rollercoaster-Heather Headly

Inside That I Cried-CeCe Pennistion

Keep on Walking-CeCe Pennistion

No More Drama-Mary J. Blige

Not Gon’ Cry-Mary J. Blige

Nothing Better Than Love-Luther Vandross

New Love-Jody Watley

If I Was Your Girlfriend-Prince

I Wanna Be Your Lover-Prince