Toxicity Isn’t Cute

There are more than a few kinds of crimes that people will commit against each other. It is beyond easy to see the fault in a person who physically harms another person, but what about the people who go out of their way to mentally and emotionally harm another person? Remember, the saying sticks and stones will break may break your bones, but names will never hurt you? Sadly, whoever was told that, or for that matter whoever concocted that phrase so often used throughout society today was wrong and misguided. Words in any language can be used to hurt person. Which have the potential to lead to a lifetime of a person being mistreated, stigmatized, judged, etc. Why because someone thought they’re just “words”.

In life, it seems we have all normalized toxic concepts like jealousy or meddling so that when people act on them, and we just act like it is something to be dismissed. As if it is OK. The reality is that this is NOT OK. This is such a damaging thing to do because at the end of the day, when all said and done, the reactions from others for said actions that people take when they act with this kind of intent is absolutely intended to hurt whoever they are targeting. This is a real person intentionally making a decision intended to change another person’s life, knowing that their decision will hurt another person. But as long as it allows for the offender to have the attention centered around them when they are using these harmful tactics all, and they are able to accomplish what they want, they do not have a care in the world for the person they are hurting.

A wide spread, weirdly common issue that I see in the world of crimes based on envy is women who feel the need to try to intimidate you out of your partner’s life. I will be the first to admit that working in in the adult film industry, seems to bring the worst out in the women around me who are not in the industry. Something about my identity as a adult film star seems to make a lot of people, especially women upset, and it also brings around this overwhelming response from women who think that I am expendable for the men that I date. A common thing that I see with women is them believing that I’m only a temporary side piece who my partner will outgrow. My current man and I have been together for literal years, but that does not stop these women from showing up out of the blue like I’m someone that can just be chased off. In all honesty, that feeling and approach is damaging enough, but these women don’t stop there. In actuality the actions of these woman is tired, routinely played countless times by them. Often predictable for me but not so much for my partner.

Recently I had a woman reach out to me on Facebook claiming to be my man’s best friend for twenty-five years. She started sending me all kinds of messages about how great he is and how much she likes him, and no surprise, she was someone that I had never even heard of. This did not stop her from slowly sending all kinds of remarks trying to get a rise out of me to ultimately edge me out of my relationship and talking about how they speak all the time, to make it look like my man is not honest with me, hiding their friendship according to her. I know he’s great, that’s why I’m with him. No surprise when I suggested she should be talking to him if they were so close, and they speak all the time, she just kept on about how I should be getting used to having her around since they are such good friends, she even provided me with her phone number and suggested that I partake in the use of illegal drugs with her. After I questioned my man about this friend of 25 years I had never heard of he admitted he’s known her for about that long, but certainly have no been in constant contact for the 25 years, come to find out this was one of the offenders.

This weird passive aggressive behavior that women show against other women is just so pointless. Blatantly wrong and uncalled for, who woke up one morning and allowed these woman to become judges of other woman. Who told them that it was ok stigmatize another females or anyone for that matter? Are these people not aware of the damage their words about another person could cause, especially when all words were concocted in their own heads?

Like any woman in a relationship, I’m not here to fight other women about it. But it seems more often than not these women are clawing at the chance to cause a fight between my partner and I, and destroy our happiness. Why because they have a predetermined perception of who I am supposed to be? Which causes them to immediately know everything about me, when I have never even met them in person, in my lifetime. All this behavior is toxic, and should be avoided at all cost. Trying to edge someone out of their relationship whether, their partner is your friend for 25 years, your ex, babies mama or daddy whatever the relationship the offender has to the victims partner know this is a weird thing to do. There is absolutely no pride in trying to chase others out of their relationships, and if you think there is you are totally a creep. There is absolutely nothing cute, about throwing made up shade on other people you do not know, it is unattractive, and undesirable. You will always be the offender trying to make it to the sideline to possibly to snag a window of opportunity to spew some hurtful words. So just stop if you are the offender already, it’s not a cute look, so don’t do it. Plus now you’re exposed.