Torn By The Life I Live...

I often sit back and reflect on my past I guess I'm at that stage of life...

Pondering the what ifs, second guessing the decisions I've made and what got me to this exact point in time

Could I have done things differently... only if

I'm often torn by the life I live and what could have been feeling as though I was meant for more

It's hard living in a mediocre life never being really great at just one thing but not half bad at a lot of ordinary

But deep down inside what if my heart an soul yearn for the extraordinary...

I feel as though I've squandered all my good years away, all the potential, all of my strengths that have now gone and slipped away

How did it all go awry where in life did I start to stray...

It's hard to say when I never had no real direction no clue of the endless possibilities 

You grow up being forced to go to school not seeing anyone that ever really looked like you, feeling overlooked, and without a voice

The history books all wrote you out of our nations own history, which its own democracy was based upon my people's traditional ways of life

Dragged from our homes forced to give up our culture and punished for speaking our own language but it didn't end there

A country and the stories told of its history they tried to erase us, act as those we cease to exist

It's hard to feel welcomed in a land you came from when their only mission was to destroy your people

Kill the Indian, Save the Man harsh words that echo throughout my mind ever since the first time I came across them

But assimilation, and sterilization are not the kind of topics you want to talk about so we glaze over them with hype of a Thanksgiving made up of fantasy and fairytales

I look at my life now and realize why it never came that easily how can you thrive when since the day you were born you are just trying to survive

Welcome to a life lived through Generational Trauma

They say we carry it in our bones, we carry it in our DNA...

But you know what I say....

We carry the blood of warriors and the knowledge of our ancestors passed down through generations

You tried to bury us but you did not know...

We are the seeds that were planted that you did not see beneath the earth

Mother Earth nurtured us and the Creator protected us...

Why, because we were made for greatness

We are the Water Protectors, We are the Knowledge Keepers, We are the Stewards of the Land

AND WE ARE STILL HERE 

My memoir, my reflection, my truth is I am from the On^yote?a*ka, I will live the only way I know how

I will try to become the person the Creator created me to be. I will try my best to live by the example set forth in the Seven Grandfather Teachings, I will try to embrace my culture and every little thing about it, I will be Proud of my Heritage, and I will remind myself that all things are connected. We are all relation so treat others how you would want to be treated even if others don't do the same.