Tom's gifts

It had started with a love letter – pages so delicate they felt like they might crumble in her hand.

Words written with fervour from a front line; Tom desperate to get back to Kate, who he had loved since the second grade.

At night I push past the exhaustion to take in the night sky; knowing that we are both underneath the same moon is the only thing that comforts me. When I close my eyes, I can see the sugar cane out the back, the wind moving through it and you in the moonlight. You are with me every moment Kate, every moment – as my eyes close to sleep, as I dream. You are there as I am woken by the shelling, my first thought desperate to make sure you are safe, before remembering you are not here.

Enthralled, Hayley travelled with Tom through the seemingly endless bound books he had sent to his newlywed, the black moleskin covers protecting weeks’ worth of letters inside. It made the couple’s ending all the more devastating too her.

A death certificate and a letter from Tom’s parents, expressing their profound grief brought on by the loss of their newfound daughter, revealed how Kate had been struck down by an illness that was decimating young women and men in the prime of their lives. It seemed to have spread from some of the men who had returned from the battlefields, though none dare to mention they could be the carriers. Death seemed to hang over the returned heroes and this extra curse was just too heavy to bear. There was no known cure and Kate had succumbed within days.

Her death certificate was marked August 9, 1918. Tom was killed on August 8, 1918, half a world away, on the first day of the Battle of Amiens. Hayley had wept when she read the dates, imagining that Kate had somehow known, and she had gone to him.

Hayley had followed Tom’s heartbreaking journey from his training to the horrendous battle fire he came under as he was tossed ashore at Gallipoli. He survived somehow, only to be shipped to the Western front. Kate – his ‘starlight’ – kept him going through dysentery and starvation, through endless mud and death and torment. Through the trudging from one bombed French town to another, the churned-up, muddy fields of Europe were not what he had imagined.

It was the last letter, unopened and still covered in dirt, with bits of mould around the edge – Tom’s beautifully scripted ‘Kate’ on the front – that Hayley had prevaricated for weeks over as to whether to open. It seemed so private. But she wanted closure. The family who had sold her the farm had left a lot of old furniture behind and the dilapidated wooden shed was full of rubbish and old relics. It was there that she had found this treasure trove of Tom’s letters, which Kate had lovingly wrapped in bunches of three books, each tied with silver ribbons, all placed carefully in a brown, sturdy suitcase. All but this last one was opened.

Hayley’s hand wavered as she moved a letter opener through the old seal.

Dearest Kate, my starlight, it read. She took a breath before reading on; a hard lump in her throat already forming.

You have carried me all this way.

From the moment you stared furiously at me when I pulled your pigtail in Grade 2, to our first kiss beside the school shed, to when you said yes underneath the Blue Gum, you have been with me.

I wanted with all of my soul for you to never receive this letter, but it is here, with the knowledge that I am with you right now as you read this. Close your eyes – I am here. Just as you have always been in my heart, I will always be in yours.

I had hoped to share this with you when I arrived home. I have been dreaming of what it is like to be in your arms since the moment I left them. So, the best I can give you, my love, is what my grandfather gave to me before I left. Forgive me for not telling you about it until now. I wanted my return to be so wonderful, so amazing and deserving of you. I hope this will sustain you instead. I know how much you would have needed it, and I so did not want this to be the end.

Head out to the big Blue Gum. On the left-hand side and just a couple of steps in front of the gum is where I proposed. I know you will know exactly where it is. The tin is buried not far underneath. There is $20,000 in it. I know – please forgive me again for not sharing this sooner – you will now never want for anything. It is my last gift to you.

I love you so much Kate. I will always be with you.

Forever yours, your Dearest Tom.

Hayley could not stop crying, with the gravity of the loss slowly competing with a growing, gnawing realisation. Surely not, she thought. Could the suitcase still be there? No one else had read this letter – it was unopened – Kate had never had the chance to receive it. Somebody had sent it after both she and Tom had died and like Hayley initially, they could not bring themselves to open it. After a moment of confusion, Hayley found her body moving towards the door and into the back shed where she had found the suitcase with Tom’s books. She grabbed the shovel and headed to the big gum. The beautiful, expansive tree was the reason she had bought the two-bedroom cottage. The house was small but there was something really peaceful about the acreage and way the giant gum reached out it like it was protecting everything underneath it. She often sat daydreaming in the spot where she was sure Tom was talking about, in front of a slight rise in the ground. It was here she started digging and unimaginably, after a bit of rock and dirt, she hit something just inches down. Within ten minutes she had pulled it out and sure enough, there it was, $100 notes packaged up in tight roles in a large tin.

Sitting there for a while, the enormity of what had happened more than 100 years ago sunk in. She kept looking at the cash – a century on it was perfect and not worth as much, but it would still be life-changing – which only made her cry harder. She knew instantly what needed to do. She would travel to Amiens and look for Tom’s grave. Then she would bring some of the dirt to Kate. And she would pay off the home.

As she closed the lid on the suitcase and picked it up to take it inside, a breeze broke the stillness and swept though, and Hayley felt the air and light sweep through her underneath the blue gum. She thanked Tom for his gift. Little did she know it was only the start of his surprising gifts to come.