To Be Kind

I stared at the popcorn ceiling until face shapes formed. Unfamiliar scented sheets covered my body and offered nothing to soothe me. No matter how many times I replayed the last few months in my mind, I still couldn’t believe I was here. I rolled to my side. Street lights filtered in through the blinds, casting beams on the walls. Sighing, I sat up. My hand reached for the lamp beside me and on the third try I finally found the knob. My heart sank like iron as I studied the words in the black notebook before me.

Way to go, you make such a massive impact on this company. I hope to be where you are someday!

Kelly

I bet you slept your way to the top. Just kidding!!!! Great going bro

Brad

I don’t really know you, but hey, congrats

Congrats

Congrats

Go you

Never stop believing!

I didn’t know any of these people. Not one. I couldn’t tell you what they looked like or where they lived. I had no idea if they were parents, enjoyed the coast, or hated sports. Yet, they all knew me. They all praised me for my promotion. All but one.

Fool. You climbed to a prominent position and now sit in an esteemed seat of honor. But your success is not your own. You stepped upon the heads of those beneath you, stamped out their blood to make way for your shortcomings. You fought foolishly, seeking a false richness that lacks compassion and integrity. Such success, having no strength in its foundation, will fail. If you want to see true wealth, seek people to help. Lift the weak, the poor, the oppressed. Remove burdens and show kindness. Give more than you take. -CM

The day I’d first read it, I scoffed and chucked the notebook into my desk. What could he know?

A lot.

A week later, my promotion meant nothing. I sat jobless on my leather sofa, staring at another denial for hire. A month went by and I debated between paying the electricity or buying food. I used my credit card up to its limit, assuming it wouldn’t be long before I got another job. But costing a reputable company a billion dollar deal made any decent paying position unattainable. Instant rejection. Idiot, I muttered as I snapped the book shut. The bank could care less about my sob story as they repossessed everything I had, including the mustang and the penthouse. All that remained sat in a large duffle bag on the floor of a hotel room. I took a deep breath, inhaling the fragrance of cheap bar soap from the bathroom, and closed my eyes.

“Wait! Sir!” a woman’s voice echoed as I stamped the down arrow for the elevator. I glanced up to see her racing towards me, each slim arm weighed down by a suitcase. I barely stopped the door from sweeping shut. She smiled, hobbled her way in and dropped the bags by her feet as the elevator shot down. The doors chimed open. Seek someone to help, the words of CM ran through my mind. Before she picked them up again, I reached forward.

“Hey, what are you doing?” She started with a screech, causing me to back up.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked, but would you like help with these?” the words escaped my mouth as if someone else were posing the question. But something in me stirred to help her. Maybe it was how hard she struggled, or the fact that she was still panting from running with two suitcases. Truthfully, I didn’t know why I cared.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. Sure.” She smiled in a way that only one cheek rose. As we walked, we said nothing. I tossed both cases into the trunk and turned around. Her eyes smiled back at me. I thought she might say something, but she seemed to stop herself, only allowing a “thank you”, and hopped into the front seat. As she drove off, I realized I didn’t know what I was doing. There was no plan, just the ticking of a watch I didn’t wear. I ran my hands through my hair as a stiff wind blew through my sweater. My eyes flicked to the opening of a car door in front of me. A middle aged man with dark skin stepped out. My eyes dropped when he looked over at me. That’s when I saw an object fall to the ground. Just keep walking, I told myself. The man didn’t see that he’d dropped it. For a moment, just a moment, the thought entered my mind to circle back after he’d left. I shuddered. Had I really stooped that low?

“Sir, you dropped your wallet!,” I called out. He turned to me, glanced at the ground, and touched his back pocket. He laughed.

“I guess I did! Thank You!” I began walking away, but he was striding towards me so I slowed down.

“Hey,” he said, “I really appreciate that. This isn’t the part of town where men are honest. Let me buy you a drink.”

I scratched my head, “thanks, but I don’t drink.”

“Well then, you’re in good company; neither do I. Ten years sober” He pat me on the back, “how ‘bout a job?” I froze. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for my answer. How did he know? Did I look unemployed? Was I already that much of a mess? I glanced down at myself. No, he couldn’t know.

“I take it from your silence, that you need it more than you want to admit.”

I scoffed, “You don’t even know me,”

“Ehh, It’s more selfish than you think. I’m in desperate need of someone for a job. And anyone not about to take easy money, is worthy enough for it.”

I paused, “Alright.” What did I just agree to? Had I not struggled for the last two months to find work, my answer wouldn’t have been the same.

“Good, I’m Clarence by the way, and your shift starts in half an hour.” Then he turned and trotted into the hotel.

“Wait!” I called, dumbfounded, “What is it? Where is it? Isn’t there more that we’re supposed to be discussing here?”’

“Just meet me back here in half an hour.”

Turns out, the job was in the hotel I was staying at. The next week I mopped floors, emptied trash, vacuumed carpet, and occasionally dealt with animals. The pay was… awful. But each night I had a bed and a full belly. I kept reminding myself it was only temporary. Just until I could find a better job. An actual career. As I rolled my equipment back into the supply closet for the day, Clarence jogged around the corner.

“Good day,” he said, “Hey… did you clean the supply closet too?” His eyes went wide, I scratched my chin and laughed.

“Yeah, that was a train wreck.”

“I don’t think that space has been that tidy in the last fifteen years,” He said. I laughed again before grabbing my jacket and closing the door.

“I appreciate the job, thanks again for putting in the word with your dad.” I said.

“My pleasure, though I take it, not the kind of work you’re used to?”

I grimaced, “How could you tell?”

“Just a guess.” He smiled, and I knew he was aware of something he wasn’t admitting. But I let it go. We both turned to part ways when Clarence called back at me.

“I nearly forgot,” he said as he reached into his book bag. When he retrieved his hand, he was holding a small black notebook. Practically identical to the one in my room. He paused before extending it towards me.

“Don’t open it just yet, but this is for you.”

“…okay…” I said slowly, taking the book from his hand.

“Look, I gotta go, but everything is explained inside.” He said. I looked down at the book in my hands, squinting my brows at his statement. When I looked back up he was halfway down the hall.

Huh, strange dude. I mumbled to myself. Curious, I went to open the book, but as I did a child rammed into my calf. I knocked backwards and nearly stumbled into the wall trying to avoid falling on her. She didn’t look back as she raced towards the lobby.

“Hey!,” I called out, seeing no one else around. She couldn’t have been more than three. I turned the corner to find her sitting on a cream love seat in the lobby, flicking at her dolls’ hair. I leaned forward, swiveling my head in both directions, waiting for some kind of adult to appear. I caught the gaze of the receptionist, who had eyed her too. She mouthed Yours? I shook my head and shrugged. Feeling a tug in my gut, I sat down in the lobby beside her. I waited and watched, but the girl just sat and played with her doll.

“Hi,” I said, after a little while, “Is your mommy or daddy around?” she looked at me, then back at her doll.

“Or maybe grandpa? Grandma?” still nothing. I sat back in my chair. I figured I could give it an hour before calling someone. Though I didn’t know who I’d call. As the minutes ticked by, I remembered the book in my hand. I opened it to find a check sitting in the inner pocket. For $20,000 with the recipient line left blank. My mind swirled. And then I nearly dropped the book.

Anyone can choose to change. Here’s a little gift to help you get off your feet. The greatest path to success is selflessness. -CM

Before I could gather my thoughts, a woman rushed in from the hall and took hold of the girl. My heart racing, I jumped to my feet.

“Wait, ma’am. Is that your daughter?” She looked up from beneath a mess of brown curls. It was the same woman I’d helped last week, her peach colored lipstick smudged. I glimpsed the corner of a twenty-dollar bill poking out of the top of her weathered jean pocket.

“Yes, I’m sorry if she’s been any trouble.”

“No,” I shook my head, “she’s fine. She was by herself for a long time. Just seems a little young.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I... It won’t happen again.” she apologized and guided the girl outside, eyeing the hallway from which she’d come. My gut was turning again. Something felt off.

“Wait,” I said, running to her. She flinched. A light breeze whipped between us and I caught a familiar musky smell mixed with perfume. I noticed the way she hunched over and her shirt slipped forward, revealing a large green circle on her hip.

“Are you okay?”

Her eyes flickered to me, then down at her feet, then to the girl, then back to me with the same uncertain gaze my mother used to have. A wave of memories came rushing in, painful memories I’d forced myself to forget. I glanced at the child clinging to her mom’s leg and understood the words that had been plaguing me. For the first time, I felt grateful for having lost my job. My heart swelled and I could barely utter my next sentence.

“I don’t know your situation, and you don’t know me, but this is for you” I handed the slip of paper over. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw what it was and instantly shook her head.

“No strings attached,” I promised. She hesitated. The breeze rippled the paper between us. I reached for her hand and placed it in her cold palm. She closed her eyes, tears running down and tucked the check into her pocket.

“Thank you,” she whispered and crouched down to her daughter. Shaking, she embraced the girl and rested her face on her shoulder.

“Okay mommy?” the little girl asked.

“Okay.”