This one’s for you, Aubrey Plaza

Recently in Agatha All Along, Aubrey Plaza’s character of Death/Rio Vidal exclaimed that all roads lead to her. In my case, I guess all roads lead to Aubrey Plaza herself. It sounds strange, but allow me to explain.

No matter where I am, or what I’m into, Aubrey Plaza seems to pop back up in my life when I need her. She first showed up in a double whammy in 2009 with Parks and Recreation AND Scott Pilgrim vs the World. She was a stand out, and even today she is a complete scene stealer. I would find myself drawn into other fandoms, but would always somehow come back to Parks and Rec and Aubrey. I saw the To Do List as an early audience screener and was reminded just how much I adored her. I even got to see Aubrey perform a couple times at UCB theater live and in the exuberant flesh. After one show, she stood outside next to me and I was so overwhelmed by her presence I tried to become one with the wall. I had brought her a joint with a bow on it because the particular show was Toke Talk. The joint never made it to her because that was the night I became a brick in the wall outside of the UCB theater on Franklin Ave. I’d see her perform again in later shows but never ended up a part of the building again.

In recent years, she’d popped back up in my life in TV and film all over again. From Legion to White Lotus, Happiest Season to Black Bear. Most recently, she appeared as Rio Vidal in Marvel’s Agatha All Along. She also had two films come out this year, Megalopolis and My Old Ass. It’s a good year to be Aubrey Plaza, and a rewarding year to be her fan. Not only that but in both Agatha All Along and My Old Ass, she plays LGBTQ characters. It’s this sort of representation that I desperately hoped for in the actors that I admire but didn’t get often growing up. Now that I’m older, I’m being rewarded with rich performances by my favorites that make me feel seen and heard. Aubrey was part of the first ever Sapphic kiss in the MCU, something so incredibly groundbreaking especially in times like today. There’s many people trying to silence the queer commmunity, but a kiss between two women in one of the biggest franchises in the world can and will open MANY more doors for LGBTQ voices.

Aubrey Plaza has always been authentically herself, no matter how strange people may label her. It’s one of the things I admire most about her. I am an autistic adult and am almost always seen as strange. I used to mask my autistic self in order to fit in, often filing my shine just to make friends. In more recent years, I’ve stopped masking in order to be my more authentic self. No matter how strange or silly people may think I am. Aubrey doesn’t dull herself down to make herself more digestible for anyone else, and I find it truly admirable. Whenever I watch her in interviews it just cements keeping my mask off and being myself too. I’m not making myself easy to swallow for anyone else, and I often use Aubrey as a mental reminder when I find myself hiding.

One day when the road leads me there, I’ll get to meet Aubrey finally and say thank you in person. Maybe when that happens, I’ll finally be able to gift her a joint with a ribbon on it… and actually give it to her this time.