This Is Why You Can’t Control Your Thoughts

Who really controls your life—you, or your mind?

Think about it. One moment, your mind is calm, the next it’s racing with worries you never asked for. It drags you into the past, throws you into the future, and rarely lets you rest in the present. The mind is like an untamed horse—powerful enough to carry you to freedom, but wild enough to throw you into chaos.

We call it “ours,” but most of the time, it doesn’t listen to us. How many times have you said, “I don’t want to think about this anymore,” and yet the thought refuses to leave? How often do you feel chained by anger, jealousy, or fear — while knowing they’re hurting you?

Philosophers, saints, and scientists have all tried to explain the mind. Some say it’s an illusion, some call it a gift, and others describe it as nothing more than a bundle of thoughts. But no matter what we call it, one thing is certain: the mind can either be our greatest strength or our most dangerous prison.

And that’s why we need to talk about it. Because until we understand the mind, we can never truly understand ourselves.

What is the Mind?

Close your eyes for a moment and try to point to your mind. Can you? You’ll find the heart beating, the breath flowing, the brain resting in your skull—but the mind? It has no shape, no colour, and no exact location. And yet, it controls almost everything you do.

Different people have described it in different ways. Spiritual teachers say the mind is both a blessing and a trap—God’s gift that can either connect us to the divine, or drown us in illusion. Psychologists describe it as a collection of thoughts, feelings, memories, and choices. And Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, gave us the famous iceberg theory: what we see on the surface is just a tiny part of our mind (the conscious), while the real bulk lies hidden deep below (the subconscious).

That hidden part is where our forgotten memories, secret fears, and silent desires live. They whisper to us, shape our behaviour, and often guide our lives without us even realizing it. It’s like an invisible script running in the background—one we didn’t even know we were following.

So, what is the mind? Maybe it’s not just one thing. Perhaps it’s the restless child inside us, the wise teacher, the trickster, and the silent observer—all living together. And maybe, the real challenge is not to define the mind, but to learn how to live with it.

The Chains of Conditioning

Have you ever seen an elephant tied with just a thin rope? It’s a strange sight—this massive creature, strong enough to uproot a tree, standing still because of a tiny rope around its leg. Why doesn’t it break free? Because when it was young, the same rope held it back. Over time, the elephant stopped trying. It believed it could never escape.

Our minds are not very different.

From childhood, we are tied with invisible ropes—beliefs, fears, labels, and lessons repeated to us again and again. You can’t do this. You must do that. This is right. That is wrong. Slowly, these voices become our truth. We stop questioning them, and they quietly shape the walls of our mental prison.

Psychology calls this “conditioning.” Spiritual teachers call it “maya.” Either way, the result is the same: we live under limits that don’t even exist. We avoid risks because we “believe” we will fail. We judge others because we were taught to. We carry fears that were never really ours to begin with.

The mind, like clay, takes the shape of every impression made on it. And unless we become aware, we spend our lives walking in circles — never realizing the rope is weak, and freedom is only one step away.

The Colours of the Mind

The mind is never just one thing. It changes its colors faster than a chameleon. One moment it is full of love, the next it is burning with anger. Sometimes it lifts us up with confidence, and other times it drags us down with doubt.

Saint Kabir once called the mind a maskhara — a trickster. If you scold it, it sulks. If you pamper it, it runs wild. Sometimes it acts like Ram, full of compassion and clarity. Other times it becomes Ravan, filled with ego and desires.

Think of emotions like tools in the hands of the mind. Anger, desire, pride, jealousy—these are not always “bad.” They are like a double-edged sword. Anger can destroy, but it can also fight injustice. Desire can trap us, but it can also drive us to create, innovate, and love. The problem is not the emotions themselves—the problem is whether the mind is their master or their slave.

This is why the mind feels like a storm: unpredictable, powerful, and sometimes dangerous. But like every storm, it also carries rain—the potential to nourish, refresh, and bring new life. The colours of the mind are endless. The question is: which one do we allow to paint our life?

The Struggle of Modern Times

If the mind was restless before, today it feels almost unstoppable.

We live in a world where our thoughts are constantly hijacked—by screens, by endless notifications, by comparisons with people we don’t even know. One scroll on social media can make us feel inspired, insecure, jealous, and empty—all within a minute. Our minds have become like crowded marketplaces, full of noise, bargains, and distractions.

But this battle with the mind is not something new. In the ancient Indian epic Mahabharata, there is a story of a warrior named Arjuna who stood on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. Just before the war began, he broke down. His hands trembled, his bow slipped, and he admitted to his guide, Krishna: “My mind is restless, unstable, and uncontrollable.”

That was thousands of years ago—yet his words could easily belong to any of us today. Anxiety before an exam. Sleepless nights before a presentation. Overthinking before a big life decision. The setting may have changed, but the human struggle with the mind remains the same.

Modern life only magnifies it. Scientists say we think nearly 70,000 thoughts every day, most of them repetitive and many of them negative. Add to that the constant pressure to do more, earn more, be more—and the result is exhaustion. Anxiety, depression, burnout — these are not abstract medical terms anymore; they are everyday realities for millions of people.

The irony is, we think we are controlling our minds with technology and comfort. But in truth, the mind is controlling us. We promise ourselves to check the phone for just five minutes—and suddenly an hour is gone. We tell ourselves to stop worrying—but the worries keep us awake at 2 AM.

The battlefield is no longer just Kurukshetra. It is inside us, every single day.

Mental Health & Misconceptions

For a long time, people have confused ordinary feelings with mental health disorders. Feeling sad for a few days is not always depression. Being nervous before a presentation is not always an anxiety disorder. These emotions are part of being human. But when sadness or worry stays for weeks, when it takes away our ability to enjoy life or even get out of bed that’s when it becomes a medical condition that needs care.

The problem is, most of us still carry misconceptions. Some think depression is “just weakness.” Some think addiction is a “bad habit” that can be stopped if a person simply tries harder. And in many cultures, unusual behaviour — like hearing voices or seeing things that aren’t there — is often blamed on ghosts or evil spirits. In reality, conditions like schizophrenia or severe trauma can create these experiences.

Addiction, too, is deeply misunderstood. It’s not simply about “liking” something too much. It’s a loss of control. A person may know a substance or behaviour is destroying their life, and still feel powerless to stop. Science now recognizes addiction as a mental health disorder, not a moral failure. And like any illness, it requires treatment, patience, and support — not shame.

The sad truth is, stigma often does more damage than the condition itself. When families hide mental illness out of fear, when people suffer in silence because they don’t want to be judged, healing becomes even harder. Mental health is health, plain and simple. Just as we wouldn’t ignore a broken bone, we shouldn’t ignore a broken spirit.

Pathways to Balance

If the mind can be our prison, it can also be our key. The same energy that makes it restless can be channelled into peace, clarity, and even joy. The question is — how do we get there?

The first step is awareness. Imagine watching your thoughts like clouds drifting across the sky. You don’t need to fight them or chase them. Just notice them. The more you observe without judgment, the more you realize: I am not my thoughts. I am the one watching them.

The second step is practice. Meditation, journaling, prayer, or even a quiet walk in nature — these are not escapes. There are ways of gently training the mind, like teaching a child to walk. Slowly, the storms calm, and space for clarity appears.

The third step is balance. Life will always bring emotions — anger, desire, fear, love. Instead of seeing them as enemies, we can treat them as tools. Anger can fight injustice, desire can fuel creativity, and fear can keep us cautious. But when the mind is the master, these tools turn against us. When we become the master, they serve us.

And finally, we need support. Talking to a trusted friend, seeking therapy, or simply admitting “I’m not okay” is not weakness — it’s wisdom. The mind is powerful, but so is connection. Sometimes, healing begins the moment we stop carrying our burdens alone.

The path is not about silencing the mind. It’s about guiding it. A still mind is not an empty one — it is a mind aligned with purpose, with peace, and with life itself.

Conclusion

The mind is a wanderer. It can drag us into fear or lift us into freedom. It can become our greatest enemy or our most trusted companion. The difference lies not in the mind itself, but in how we choose to guide it.

We cannot silence every thought. We cannot erase every emotion. But we can learn to pause, to observe, and to steer. Like a river, the mind will always flow — but with awareness, we can choose its direction.

Maybe the mind will always remain a mystery. But it doesn’t have to remain a burden. When we stop fighting it and start understanding it, we begin to see its true nature: a force of creation, imagination, and connection.

In the end, the mind has a thousand colours. Some are dark, some are bright. But when painted with awareness, compassion, and purpose — those colours don’t just shape our thoughts. They shape our entire life.