This is the best state of marriage: eat together, and each grows

More and more young people are gradually recognizing the marriage truth, married may not live well, and single may not live poorly. Want to live a good life, fight dad fight husband is useless, only to fight their line.

　　My friend Ai grew up under the influence of her mother's "learning is better than marrying well", treating herself as the heroine of a sand play, thinking about the "face and gold" of Prince Charming. Therefore, when Mr. Guo, the "man of the world" in the eyes of his parents, appeared, Xiao Ai did not hesitate to get married with a license.

　　After the marriage, Ai was promoted to full-time housewife "Mrs. Ai". I thought I could rest easy from now on, but it turned out that because of the difference in growth environment and vision, I could not provide any help to my husband at work, except for cooking a delicious meal for him. In addition to parental matters, the two have little in common, the dead silence of two people than a person's loneliness is more depressing. The husband did not say anything, but gradually showed coldness and blank stares, making Ai wonder if she had gone to the wrong set in the first place. No abortion, no cheating, no quarrel, this "no-death" marriage finally dissolved peacefully after Ai struggled for six months.

　　After a failed marriage, Ai learned a lesson: the best state of marriage is not one party dependent on the other, but two people upgrading themselves on their battlefield, and then team up to fight. After the divorce, Ai said goodbye to the Mary Sue heroine, learned social rules and practiced workplace skills, and finally found a job as an administrative clerk. Although her starting salary was not high and her standard of living was not as good as before, she finally found her rhythm and focus in life.

　　Later, Ai met her current husband, Mr. Wang, at work. Both of them are from comparable families and are passionate about food and travel. After the marriage, the two supported each other in life and were equal in their careers, so Ai finally achieved a successful turnaround in her marriage "low start and high finish". If you can shine in your own body, you can live a good life.

　　Two

　　A research study by the Institute of Sociology of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences concluded that: the differences in outlook and values between young couples have become a major stumbling block on the road to marriage. In addition, the couple's mode of living together will also have an impact on married life. There is no doubt that machismo has become a recognized bug in the world's marriage system, with the wife becoming a cheap stand-in for the nanny in front of the husband who wants to be the "boss". This kind of couple relationship, over time, also becomes tasteless.

　　A colleague, Q, had a poor mode of getting along with her husband, Mr. Liu, and the marriage was on the verge of collapse. Q had just given birth to a child, Q's mother came from abroad to take care of her for three months after returning home because of business, Mr. Liu's parents are far away, and Mr. Liu himself is always on business trips. So, Q immediately transformed into a "perfect mother".

　　The heartache of bringing up a child alone is only experienced by those who have been there: feeding the child with the swelling of the breast, waking up in the middle of the night from the cries of the child, childcare chores and household chores fly ......Q busy to exhaustion, tired to collapse. So easy, day and night, the business trip for a month Liu returned home. No thoughtfulness, no care, brought badly still be said. The face of Q's eyes reveals the helplessness, the husband independently starts "play blind" mode.

　　Until Q completely erupted, Mr. Liu realized his problems, and began to make up for the child must kill skills, to milk powder, change diapers, put to sleep, the two feelings gradually return to the right track.

　　The facts speak for themselves: the natural attributes of women who are willing to be babysitters have gradually disappeared, and they have automatically evolved into motherhood version 2.0, which is an unprecedented celebration of freedom and equality. Remember, in one episode of "Mom is Superman", Richard Xiu gave Jia a day off. The "vacationed" Mrs. Jia and her girlfriends were playing and shopping together, instantly returning to the age of 18. The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.

　　It turns out that a good marriage is one in which two people know how to give to each other, each in their way. Even if the couple lives under the same roof, but does not mean that the two are one, finding a suitable mode of living together, and finding their respective roles, is the basis of emotional stability.

　　Three

　　It is undeniable that this is an era of personality, everyone enjoys the pleasure of being self-centered. But, capricious for a long time, when more love will wear out, and eventually will go their separate ways.

　　In an emotional program, the woman wants to break up, the man is a face of aggravation. The thing is this: two people bonded in the same college. After graduation, the man was accepted by an airline as a captain, and the woman was offered a flight attendant position in another airline. But on the male side of the persuasion, the woman gave up a good job to the male side of the city. Because of her good image, the woman soon found a job as a print model. However, the man felt that the job was not good and told the woman to quit. Later, the woman found a few more jobs, all of which ended in the man's dissatisfaction. Six months later, the woman can not stand the male "for your own good" type of emotional kidnapping, the male side of the pot to say: "I am for your sake". There is no doubt that the male side was disliked by the whole field.

　　In fact, everyone is eager to be supported and understood. When a person loses his freedom of choice, he is by and largely unhappy. Love is not bondage, love is becoming. For the relationship between the two sexes to become whole to each other, marriage can be overriding open. When it comes to completeness, the Republican period "literary couple" Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang is an example of this class of young people.

　　In 1935, Yang Jiang accompanied Qian Zhongshu to study in England. Because Yang Jiang is not used to foreign life, for the sake of his wife's stomach, the usually "clumsy" Qian Zhongshu taught himself cooking skills. He cooked eggs, baked bread, warmed milk, and mellow black tea, and was full of love. During Qian Zhongshu's creation of "The Siege", to save money, the great writer Yang Jiang quit her job for love and willingly took on the burden of household chores so that her husband could concentrate on his literary work. Of course, Qian Zhongshu also conveyed his deep gratitude to his beloved wife in the preface to The Siege.

　　A good marriage is one that focuses on self-advancement while leaving more room for the other person to grow. The two people who enter into marriage build a high platform for each other so that the oars of love can be fully powered and the sails of marriage can last a long time.

　　Some people say that the most ideal married life is on the scales of love, both sides have the same weight, mutual appreciation, and each wonderful. I agree with this. Marriage is never a blessing in disguise, but an added bonus. After the loneliness of a teenager, marriage becomes an insurance option for most people to overcome their loneliness. But in reality, when you reach middle age, married or not, most of the time you still have to fight the demons and monsters of your world alone. If you don't have the ability to live a good life alone, after marriage, most of you will not be happy.

　　Perhaps the best state of marriage is to eat together and grow individually. Smart people know that even if they get married, they should always have the power to be single. Don't lose yourself for marriage, don't give up growth for life. A person should live well, two people should know how to cherish.