There is no One Way to Live Life

I have been honoured in this life to have a mother to teach me such a valuable lesson: “There is no one way to live your life.” Many of us are guided down similar paths, and some of us just don’t understand why we’re so unhappy –uncomfortable and out-of-place. Some of us feel a pain inside that we can’t define, and a frustration that burrows into our hearts. We look at the life laid out before us, watching everyone else glide down the highway, while we’re sputtering along in the slow lane, wondering why the pavement stings so much.

I’ve felt this pain, deep in my soul, before I even drew my first breathe; but now, today, 24 years into this life, I’ve pulled my vehicle off the pavement. I’m on the side of the highway now, with the hood propped up and the signal lights on. Maybe it looks like I’m in distress, but I’m truly glad to be off that burning highway. Because, you see, once you remove yourself from those restricting white lines, you’re free to move in any direction you choose.

“There isn’t just one way to live your life."

Have you ever taken a moment to think about how you want to live? Have you thought about the kind of house, the kind of car, the kind of job? Have you thought about the people in your life and the buildings around you? Have you thought about the bills you’ll pay and the paperwork you’ll sign? I know I’m not the only one to feel a sense of impending doom at the thought of a mortgage, but am I the only one to realize I don’t have to do it that way?

My mother has always said, “There’s no one way to live life,” and now I wonder if she regrets teaching me that lesson. I took those words to heart, and they’ve helped me to never judge the lifestyle that I chose for myself.

When I moved out at 22, I barely questioned the fact that I was living a trailer with a man almost twice my age. And I didn’t judge my decision to leave that trailer to live alone in a van. While my counterparts are graduating University, buying houses, getting married and having babies, I’m moving from a trailer to a van –after having lived in other people’s space and showered in their bathrooms for over 2 years.

Maybe another kind of mother would regret teaching me such powerful words, but I am graced with one who accepts my decisions. She may not always understand them, but she knows that they’re not for her to understand. My life is mine, and the woman who gave me life respects that.

My heart goes out to all those who feel shut down –those who dream of a life different from the plan set before them, and are rejected for it. I do know how that feels, believe it or not, because the world as a whole is trying to restrict me and my life.

Van Life, Minimalism and Tiny Houses are becoming more popular, but they’re still not attainable lifestyles for those who truly need it. Many people are forced into minimalism because of a structure called poverty, and a comfortable Van Life is only available for someone with thousands of dollars. That’s the way this world has formed, and while some will shrug and say, “oh well…” I choose to stand up and say, “Fuck that!”

You see, I’m learning how the world truly works, and how the Universe shifts us around. There are those who seek to limit our abilities, and they’ve succeeded by restricting our knowledge. But it’s time that we step back into that power, and remember that there’s no one way to live life.

Let’s go back to the side of the highway…

The car won’t move and now there’s smoke drifting from the engine. It seems that I only have a few options:

• Fix the car, alone or with help
• Walk until I find a new car
• Ask for help & catch a ride

Yes, I’m sure there’re some variations, but let’s stick with these limiting options, for now.

Fixing the car seems like a good option, right? But wouldn’t I be doing the opposite of what the car was telling me? In this scenario, I’m struggling to get through life, and I find myself broken and lost. I’m starting to release any beliefs, traumas and people that have been weighing me down; but if I try to put those pieces back together, like broken parts of a car, I’m only loading myself up with what I don’t need.

Within this example, walking to find a new car is a reasonable solution. Walking takes effort –its work. You can work and work until you’re able to acquire a new car, but you’re just going to end up on the highway again. You broke down and let go of the parts that could no longer propel you forward, but you decided to pick them back up (and then some) by finding a new way to travel down the highway. Asking for help and hitching a ride is also reasonable, but it still puts you back on that dreadful road! So, why not just forget about it entirely?

There’s a voice inside us all, telling us to abandon the highway and create our own paths; for some of us, that voice is a roar rather than a whisper. It shook me awake, in fact, and I spun off the highway before I even realized what I was doing. There have been moments when I try to fix the car, or stick my thumb out for a ride, but ultimately, I now have my back to the passing cars.

The whooshing of vehicles is dulling in the background as I walk into an abundant field. With the gravel of the shoulder now behind me, and my broken-down car disappearing, I’m free to move in any direction I choose.

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