There Are New Rules Now

Hello and good morning to all American citizens.

It's a bone-cold day here in America, and it's not just because of the temperature. I have taken over every media outlet with this very important message from the President, Donald J. Trump. The Democracy of America is no more. The Democracy of America has been shaky for the last 90 years or so, but as of today, we are grieving for our country as we now face the consequences of how truly broken the Democratic Government was.

As of this morning at 6 A.M., the President has called for the Insurrection Act. In light of facing so much public scrutiny, Trump has canceled the Midterms. ICE has been given complete and total immunity to all crimes committed, and has been elevated to a higher status than the military. Members of the military are being stationed in every Democratic city and Republican city that resist the new era.

They have been ordered to shoot to kill anyone who defies the word and will of Donald J. Trump. ICE, which has been stationed in these cities previously have already begun the public executions of people who were still brave enough to protest.

All leaders of the Democratic Party have been arrested and charged with treason. The Republican Party has taken complete control over the government, and by 8 A.M., they reached a unanimous decision to edit the constitution, and how things will be.

Here are the following changes to our country as you know it. Please heed these new rules, and remember there will be severe and potentially fatal consequences.

1. Americans will no longer have a choice as to who is running the country. They will watch as their betters and superiors handle difficult tasks for the American People, such as deciding who is good enough to lead it, and who is not.

2. The First Amendment has been removed from our Constitution. Understand that any flippant remark or insult aimed at any member of the government or ICE will be seen as a crime, and officers of the law have the right to punish the crime in any way they see fit. We do not have a say in our laws. There may not be any more assemblies of people in public spaces. All protestors will be detained and questioned, and potentially charged with treason. Grievances over any laws or actions of the government or officers of the law can be filed on the new federal website. Keep in mind, there is no guarantee that your complaint will be addressed or acknowledged.

3. All social programs have been cut. Starting on the first of next month, there will be no food stamp programs or healthcare programs for low-income families. If you find food to be too expensive, it is encouraged that you get a second and third job if you must. Disability payments will also be stalled and revoked. If that is your primary income, you should start looking for a job that can suit your disability now.

4. Education is now a privilege. Education for all grades has been privatized, and public free education will no longer be available by the end of this school year. If you would like your child to get a standard K-12 education, be prepared to pay higher education prices. Teachers are encouraged to start looking for a new career, as there will not be as many educational institutions soon.

5. Taxes have been raised, starting next year, taxes will be 40% of your annual income for those who make less than $300,000 a year.

That is all for today. Thank you for your time, America. We will continue your routine media stream now.

As of Jan. 28 in the year 2026, this piece is fictional. The author takes no responsibility if it happens to be prophetic.