The Verbally Abusive Relationship

Their story started like a romantic movie. They met on a vocation near the sea, they were young and beautiful, and everything was full of emotions and chemistry. It seemed like nothing could destroy their pure, true love.

10 years later, they become a happy four-member family. They built the house. Finally, they get everything what they were dreaming of together once on that seaside, but feeling that something is going wrong starts to get stronger every day more and more.

She was thinking about that. She didn't understand what she was doing wrong to make her beloved happy. Every day, she was trying to do all she could to make him satisfied. But the result was opposite. He was aggressive, and criticism was in each conversation they had. After all, he made her blame herself, saying that it is her fault. And she believed him. She thought that problem was in herself because she didn't understand him or forgot something, said something wrong, or had any other reason than what he suggested.

It was like that until she admitted that she was not happy anymore. She was not happy for a long time. And only thing she is responsible for is that she needs to stop everyday abuse to be again happy.

She understood that she is not OK so long because she was forced to turn off her true feelings and believe that it is normal to be upset and disappointed, to feel fault and try to fix something in her.

One day she woke up to be happy, firstly with herself. She admits that setting up mental borders is important not to lose part of her soul, confidence and happiness.

Disagreements in relationships are normal, but when they become frequent and begin to form a pattern, it might be a sign that something is wrong, and possibly abusive – a word that is hard for many people to think about or even say out loud.

In this topic we are going to talk not about physical abuse but about verbal. What do you know about the verbal abuse? Definition says that it is emotional abuse, is a range of words or behaviors used to manipulate, intimidate, and maintain power and control over someone. These include insults, humiliation and ridicule, the silent treatment, and attempts to scare, isolate, and control.

Most people assume that if they were being verbally abused, they would know about it. After all, verbal abuse often involves yelling, put-downs, name-calling, and belittling behaviors. But there is more to verbal abuse than people realize. Some people are verbally abused on a regular basis without even recognizing that it’s happening.

Verbal abuse can occur in any type of relationship: romantic relationships, parent-child relationships, family relationships, and co-worker relationships.

The main step to stop verbal abuse is to realize that something doesn’t feel right and it is not. The next step is to admit that it is not your fault, then set up borders and not to be afraid to stop any kind of abusive relationship toward you.

Never forget that you are the most important person, which you should make feel good and happy. If you are not happy, you will not be able to make anyone else happy.