The Undeniable Truth.

I Hate it. It hurts to think. I want to sleep. Never wake up. Words that I've said and thought of many times, Words that I wish I could say out loud.. And it's not just these but many others that I cannot say to their faces and it hurts more because of that. The truth is.. I feel like dying but at the same time, I want to live. Thrive. Become successful, and Happy with the love of my life and maybe a child.

It's annoying. So very annoying. Because I know I'm just the same as many. I wish for fame and happiness. I wish to be seen as someone great and heard but at the same time I don't want it overwhelming. I'm selfish. I'm human. but I hate humans because they're selfish so, what do I do? how I do find peace. I'm afraid of what the future may hold, will I be on the streets begging for food or money while people look at me pitifully as if they know every little secret of my sad, poor life, or will I be killed young in such a cruel and painful way as if the world if telling me your sins will never be forgiven.

I wish to be a small child again. and Yet I also want to still be an adult. To be 6 but also 24 for example. Why? Because I wish to be a child, who was naive and carefree of this cruel world to be happy and not be afraid of what may become of me in the future but I want to be an adult who can live by themselves, drink, own pets, and be somewhat free because there is no one is always biting at your back to tell you to do stuff and force you to do activities you never wanted to do in the first place. It's a childish wish. but sometimes that's just what I want. to feel like you have a choice and treated more like a human with rights.

If only right. ha.

You know. I've always hated those stories your parents may read to you in bed or those books you'd find in the library for little kids to have it read to them. those stories where the princess gets saved by a wonderful, handsome, kind prince or a knight in shining armor. where the evil stepmother or dragon gets slain in the end. where the good always gets the happy ending. I waited to be saved.. but I'm no princess nor a beautiful woman with a voice who can make the world stop and stare. I am a normal person who only dreamed of being saved but, what exactly did I need to be saved from. reality. I wanted to be saved from reality. but there was no permanent solution for that. I mean besides one but, that always ended with you in a casket or cremated.

I am just the same as practically every other human, maybe I have some talents others may not have or the other way around and maybe we all look differently, see things differently, believe in different things and we are different but we are also the same... we suffer through pain. experience hardship and heartbreak. we cry and crumble, we try to get back up but the more you damage the pillars of a building the more likely it'll collapse and fall, or the more you drop something the more it cracks, and soon enough it won't recognizable. If you don't give a rose what it needs to survive like water, sunlight, and air it will wither. it'll die. what's the difference between humans. humans are just as fragile as glass physically and mentally. sure some may be stronger than others but everything and everyone has a limit before they break. before they fall. before they die.

We all suffer.. that's the undeniable truth. Because we're humans.