The Top 5 Ways to Attract Any Man You Want, Effortlessly

Intro

There’s some of us out there that can relate to the vicious cycle of the dating world. You meet a guy you like, things get hot and heavy, and either you lose interest, or he does quickly, for one reason or another. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the things I’m about to talk about. Sometimes he has way too many children by too many different women. Sometimes, it could be hygiene. Or sometimes, he’s just not your type or on your level. And that could mean on your level in any way. Financially, intellectually, or both. But then, you have the situations where things were great between you two and out of nowhere the situation just sort of dissipated. There’s a reason for this, and the reason is usually a classic case of the guy lost interest because the woman made herself too available. Every woman makes that mistake of making herself too available to a guy in one way or another. Whether that be calling too much, texting too much, or just seeing him too much. But here are a few ways to keep a guy interested and to even get him hooked

1. Continue to invest in yourself (Don’t Give Up Your Life for Any Man)

There’s nothing sexier than a woman who’s ambitious and independent. A woman with direction, ambition, and grit is the sexiest thing to a man because he knows that she doesn’t mind pulling up her sleeves and working hard, he knows she won’t be codependent, and he also knows that she's willing to do what it takes to get where she wants to be. He also knows you’d potentially be a good example for his children. If you have a goal to be a doctor? Keep that goal. In fact, set some new ones around this one. If your dream is to be a lawyer? Don't let dating stop you from accomplishing that. Too often, women get with a guy and lose themselves. They become so consumed with the relationship that they forget that they have a life also. You see it all the time, even with married women. For instance, I knew a woman who was a teacher. She met her former husband in her early 20’s, fell in love, got married, and shortly thereafter she got pregnant. Her husband was studying to be a lawyer when they met. She gave up her career as a teacher to help him through school and to take care of their children. She paid his way through school and helped him study almost every night. She ended up having to quit her job to take care of the kids. Once he accomplished his goal as a successful lawyer, he ran off with some young woman after his wallet and left her with five kids. She had not secured a life outside of her marriage so when he left her, she had to leave with everything that she came with. She had not even had time to pursue her life outside of being a mom and a wife, which left her feeling obviously betrayed but mostly defeated once he left. A woman who’s serious about her future, her goals, and her life in general is instantaneously attractive to a man. How often do you see guys who fantasizes about the woman he saw in the library studying for the BAR exam, with the sexy cheetah print frames, pencil between her lips, and her half drunken Starbucks cup right beside her? Or the men who jump at the opportunities to pick their wives up from work or to make her lunch? Little do most women know, that’s the main reason he chased after her to begin with. It isn’t the fact that she studies law or that she wants to be a doctor. Of course, it’s a given that men and women want someone with direction in life. They want someone who knows what they want and where they’re headed. It’s the fact that she’s willing to sacrifice her time with him to focus on herself and her future. It’s the fact that she puts herself first, even though she’s interested in him. He could look like Idris Elba. It doesn’t matter. Men love a woman who puts her priorities first.

2. Keep your hobbies. While you’re at it, pick up some new ones!

Often times when a woman begins dating a man, she begins to give up the things she loves to do. She starts to put off studying to go on dates with him or to go see him. Sometimes, she’ll even cancel plans with her friends just to have some alone time with him. If it’s what he wants to do, she does it. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you’re not giving the man a chance to miss you. Relationships tend to lose their fire and passion in dynamics like this rather quickly because you’re spending way too much time with each other, and not enough time doing the things that make you happy. Happiness is a self-job. It’s not something you go searching for in others, it’s not something you can find on the shelf of a grocery store, and not even friends or family can give you the fulfillment we all seek from within. So, find your fulfillment by taking every opportunity you can to do the things that make you smile. Go to a comedy show. Hit the gym. Travel. Try a new restaurant. Find a new interesting series on Netflix and get into it. Take up a class in something that piques your interest. Do whatever you want! Stay within your budget of course but do whatever it is that gives you that fulfillment you can’t find any place else. This is not only how you attract the men you want, but this is also how you get that fulfillment you need, but from self. This is also how you keep a man interested because he knows your world does not revolve around his.

3. Keep up your self-maintenance

This is already a given. Most people are attracted to a person who keeps themselves up but go a step further. Invest in a gym membership. If you can’t afford the gym, work out at home or at your neighborhood park. Take up a yoga class. But keep your body in shape. Not only does this keep your stress levels down, but it also keeps your body tight and nice in all the right places. Nothing shows a woman loves herself more than a woman who keeps her body up. Take a trip to Sephora, CVS, Walgreens, Mac, whatever. It doesn’t matter where you go to get your makeup. As long as you like it when you put it on and it doesn’t make you look like Bozo the clown, that’s all that matters. Find something that accentuates your best features. If you have long eyelashes, find a great mascara, one that’s waterproof. If you have nice, big lips, find a gloss or a lipstick that makes your lips pop and shine. Whatever your signature is, play it up with some light makeup. Keep your hair done as well. This is a big one. There’s nothing worse than your crush randomly FaceTiming you and you looking like you just stuck your finger in a socket. I mean, Frederick Douglas is attractive in his own eccentric way but that’s the last person you want a guy comparing you to. If you don’t do regular salon trips or can’t afford it, do your hair yourself. Curl it, braid it, lock it, whatever floats your goats. But keep it tight. Oftentimes as women, we get busy being mothers to our beautiful little ones and we get busy trying to maintain our careers that our own lives take a backseat. It doesn’t mean we have to let ourselves go. Another big one is keeping your nails done. If you don’t do acrylic because it really hurts when you break one of those nails, paint them. If you see a new dress you like, buy it. It’s attractive when a woman has a wardrobe full of vibrance, color, and variety. Avoid muted colors like grey and black and go for something bolder like red or orange. These make louder statements and shows a woman full of confidence. Keep your feet done. Get a wax. Make sure you’re getting proper rest as well. I know that late night studying can be taxing not only on the body, but on the face as well. Keeping yourself up not only shows that you want to attract a man you like, but it speaks to the amount of self-love you have as well. It also gives you a chance to showcase your personality.

4. Don’t be swept away so easily by words. Stay practical and stay grounded!

Too often, you meet a guy and immediately, he starts romancing you. He starts telling you all the things you want to hear, and of course he’s on his best behavior within the first month that you meet. A man will test you the most during this time because he wants to figure out what type of lady you are. Naturally men want to control the relationship and how it goes, but when you don’t stand up for yourself or you let him dictate everything, he will grow bored of the relationship very quickly. Relationships where the two of you spend a lot of your time together grow very stale very fast because you haven’t had time to spend any time apart from one another. In the beginning of any dating dynamic with ANY guy, you need to ask yourself, “Will I stand firm on my morals and beliefs or will I allow him to completely steer the relationship and walk all over me?”. This is a vital time because this is when a man determines how much he will respect you. It’s up to you to keep your wits about yourself, and no matter what he says, to remain practical in the situation and keep your head on tight. If a man wants you to give up studying one night to go hang out with him at his place, you tell him no. If he wants you to cancel your trip to the gym in the afternoon to go out on a surprise lunch date, you tell him no. Here’s why. You already had plans in place, that’s number one. Number two, he made plans at the last minute and just expects you to disregard what you were doing to accommodate what he wants. No, no, no. Don’t cancel your plans, keep your plans. In fact, plan something else after that! What you’re saying to him without verbally saying so is that he needs to respect your time, the fact that you have a life outside of him, and most of all, he needs to respect the fact that you have goals you want to accomplish. Men don’t speak with their words; they speak with their actions. Of course, they will tell you what you want to hear because they want something from you. What that is determines the bar you set for yourself in the beginning of the relationship. A man is more apt to commit to a woman whose strong minded, takes no prisoners, and has a mind of her own. Always remember this and you will not only attract any man you want, but you will KEEP the man you want.

5. Finally, speak up for yourself!

When you don’t like something, tell him! Of course, you need to remember that there’s a time and a place for everything. You don’t start an argument in the middle of the grocery store or while you guys are at church obviously. But you do want to make sure you get your point across in a firm way. Don’t yell, don’t throw things, don’t shout at all. Just say your piece in a calm, firm way and let it be. Make sure you wait until you are home because you don’t want to embarrass or scold him in front of other people. That’s the worst thing you could ever do to a man. But if you don’t like something he’s done or said, there is a classy way to get your point across. Usually, a man doesn’t know he’s offended or hurt you in some way. So, it would be smart to express yourself and how you feel. No need to cry, no need to pout. Just say what you need to say or how you feel in a very blunt and matter of fact way and he will listen. In fact, he’ll be turned on by the fact that you were bold and confident enough to state how you feel without being afraid of him walking away or offending him. A woman with her self-worth in check knows that SHE is the prize and not the other way around. She also knows that she’s worth respect and that she won’t allow any one to treat her less than how she knows she deserves to be treated.

So in closing, remember that keeping yourself up doesn't just mean wearing makeup all the time or making sure your hygiene is taken care of, it also means getting your beauty sleep and exercising too. Also, remember that the love you have for yourself will also be the love you receive from others. Once they understand and see the way you treat and love yourself, they have no choice but to rise to your standards and treat you the same way! Now, go enjoy all those options because after reading this, you'll have plenty!