The sunshine in my shadows

Karun looked at the challenge page of the notification, it read The Self-Appreciation Challenge: Ten Things You Appreciate About Yourself. His brows shot up like rebellious seagulls mid-flight. He lowered Chipps — the imaginary, highly judgmental shoulder goblin he never asked for — and gave him a firm stare.

Chipps squinted back, munching on invisible potato chips (hence I named him Chipps), dust sprinkling onto Karun’s T-shirt of "Existential Dread".

"Ten things about yourself?" Chipps cackled. "Bro, you sometimes forget your own birthday!"

Karun ignored the goblin's slander, cracked his knuckles, and dramatically summoned a quill made of existential crisis and half-baked confidence.

It was time.

It was war.

It was weird. But it was Self-Appreciation.

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"The sunshine in my shadows" what a damn title, I could award myself the first prize already. Prize? No the least I crave is prize, but the tinglings when I write a unique challenge, and that one of a kind look on Judges face to read such a weird piece of writing, Its worth it. Esteemed judges: Lamar Wiggins, Lana V Lynx, Rick Henry Christopher, Tiffany Gordon. I appologise, I should welcome you though— To the absurdness of my Self-Appreciation.

Perhaps the judges POV: After this much blabbering, it better be worth it.

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1) Kind: My name is Karun, which means kind. Did my parents name me to be kind, or did I match my name like a prophecy's call, ending up kind? I stay as much as kind to the people, even to those who are bitter to me, to those who shatter me.

2) Poet: I can write, anywhere just a paper and a pencil. Poems flow the second I want to. I have some lens filter in my eyes, in every reality's fractions I can catch poetic glimpses and make it my own. Some call me the geeky poet, others say I'm talented or gifted. Unlike any such " Devil is in the details" I believe "God is in the details", a letter more or a word more even a symbol more makes the poem poetic. I am a living poem, and the persuit to write my life's lines will never stop.

3) Change Maker: Every day, I'm a new me. I never know what I ll be tomorrow, living my life like never before. Experimenting with new things, embracing failures, enlightening through success, enriching my learning. Let nothing define me other than myself, I let no external things take over me. I keep moving and changing, though I fail miserably my failures sure will stand ahead of my version, which stayed there waiting to choose.

4)Resilience rising in Ruins: I have shattered. Like a ceramic cup thrown at a wall, but then I made art out of my pieces. Kintsugied my soul with sarcasm, poetry, and the flow. I keep going. Even when my willpower is duct-taped and limping, that’s the thing about me.... I don’t rise from the ashes like a phoenix. I crawl out, covered in soot, flipping off the flames behind me. Perhaps a Dragon that dusts off the ashes.

5) Emotional Depth: I feel things too much. Like a human sponge dipped in a bathtub of spilled emotions. A movie scene? Tears. A silent goodbye? Haunts me for weeks. Someone else’s pain? Somehow.. I adopt it. People tell me to “toughen up,” but I wear my heart like a hoodie in July or may be august. Unreasonable, but comforting. I’ve learned that this sensitivity is not weakness, but a radar. It helps me see what’s unsaid, and hear what’s never spoken. My empathy is silent, but it’s seismic.

6) I refuse fake positivity: Some people fake “being okay” to make others comfortable. I don’t. If I’m not okay, I say it. I let my pain exist instead of dressing it in smiles. That’s not weakness. That’s truth-telling. And I’d rather be honest than impressive. Genuine, feel the pain until I can heal. Sometimes it's alright being in pain, that's the natural way of understanding ones ownself.

7) I Made My Own Belonging: I’ve felt out of place in rooms, in families, in my own skin. So I built my own space. Through writing. Through art. Through that shoulder goblin who mocks me but never leaves. I no longer beg to be invited, I carry my own damn key. Why not? I co create myself and my surroundings, I make accommodations for myself and have a smile and comfort. It is undoubtedly needed for my well being.

8) I Am Still Becoming: The most sacred thing about me? I am unfinished. I am a constant becoming. I reinvent, I destroy versions of myself when they no longer serve my soul. I do not stay where I shrink. I grow, even when it hurts, especially when it hurts. Change is inevitable. I embrace them with my full self and whole heart. Life is a journey indeed, and I have lot more to learn and cover

9) Story Stitcher : I remember things others forget. I collect them. The way someone once tied their shoelaces three times before walking into an exam. The pause before someone says “I’m fine” but means “I’m breaking.” I turn fragments into stories. I stitch forgotten moments into myth. It’s not about writing them down, it's always about carrying them. A walking archive of nearly-lost moments. A scrapbook soul.

10) Unique taste of Humour: Honestly? Who else is rolling into a challenge with a sarcastic potato-chip-eating shoulder goblin? One and only me. People mock me, laugh at me and some laugh along with me. Smile is certainly the healthiest facial gesture to practice. Unfortunately, unique humour reaches least, sometimes I end up not recognised or considered a lunatic, my speciality is I laugh at people calling me a lunatic too.