The Struggles Of Raising A Highly Intelligent Child

Both of my sons are highly intelligent and no that is not a mother bragging. You see it was a hindrance and an extreme challenge when trying to raise both boys.

To top off the challenge, both of my boys are extremely — and I mean extremely — stubborn. But then so is their mother, who in turn inherited this trait from her father. So what hope did my sons have!

One that constantly kept me on my toes!

When it comes to disciplining an intelligent child, it is necessary to use your own intelligence and creativity.

An example of the difficulties posed in the guise of discipline.

Now, at the time of this all taking place, we lived in a house that I had designed to best aid a single mother with two small boys. This house had no internal walls, except for the bathroom and toilet. The rest of the house was totally open, so no matter where the boys were, I could supervise them.

My oldest son was five years old at the time of this example and he was going through a terrible rebellious stage in his life. A stage that, no matter what, I could not condone.

He would get bored easily and start breaking his toys in frustration and as a typical parent would do, I confiscated any toys he deemed to be mistreating. I had a large plastic tub, in which I would put the confiscated toys into and put the lid back on the tub.

This tub was conveniently placed in the middle of the house, so that my child would have to walk past it a thousand times a day. The idea was that every time he walked past the tub, he would feel remorse and sadness that he could no longer access those toys.

Now what in the world could go wrong with my plan?

Well it almost did not work!

Not with a highly intelligent, stubborn child.

He would just escalate to the next toy when he was frustrated and I would take that toy and put it in the tub.

A pattern began to emerge — frustration rising, another toy mistreated, Mum confiscating the toy and the tub getting fuller and fuller, with no end in sight.

This continued until every toy this boy owned was now in that tub, or next to it if it was too large to fit inside, and still there was no end in sight.

What was a mother to do? I couldn’t back down and admit defeat as that would make a rod for my own back.

I believed that once I had all his toys, he would fold — but no, he would play with coat hangers and cardboard boxes instead. It seemed he did not care.

Still the entire issue escalated, to the point that he would try to hurt his clothes that he had on or even clean clothes in his cupboard. So of course Mum confiscated those too and into the mix they would go.

Tug of war between our wills continued, until this stubborn child of mine no longer had any clothes to wear.

No skin off his nose. We lived in the Northern Territory, where it was so hot that no clothes was actually more comfortable anyway.

He was not even concerned when I took him to childcare with nothing more than a pair of jocks on — unbeknownst to him I had already dropped clothes off to the daycare, so that he could be dressed after he arrived.

One point to note with this child of mine, he was a perfect little human being when out in public. His tantrums and strong willed challenges only happened behind closed doors. In fact his childcarers looked at me in shock when I explained the battle we were engaged in.

So here I was, racking my brains on how to win this contest of wills.

My next idea was to threaten my child with the notion that, as he does not care about his toys and clothes, then it was time for me to give them away for good. I believed this would be when he apologised and promised to treat his belongings with respect.

No he did not care!

So I told him I was going to give it all to the ‘little boy down the lane’. Yes his favourite nursery rhythm was Baa Baa Black Sheep.

I picked up the house wall phone and pretended to ring the little boy down the lane, who was over the moon to receive the items my son no longer wanted or cared about.

Still no solution, he seriously did not care!

It was not until I put everything into my car, that he finally gave in and asked me not to give ALL of them away. He explained there were a few toys and clothes that he loved and missed.

He went on to apologise and we made a deal. He could keep everything and treat them with respect and if he agreed, I would ring the little boy down the lane and explain.

Finally, a win-win for both of us and an important lesson learnt, by both mother and son.

This entire lesson played out over three months!

This was only one challenge I endeavoured to master throughout both of my boys childhood. There were many a time when I thought a four or five year old child was going to out-stubborn me, but in the end I managed to teach them the necessary lessons before that happened.

But trust me, it was a close call many, many times!

Today that intelligence and stubbornness has rewarded them, as they have become strong, resilient young men.

**********************************************************************

If you liked my writing, please click on the small heart underneath, near my name. Or send me a tip and let me know you enjoyed it.

****

Please click the link below my name to read more of my work. I would also like to thank you for taking the time to read this today and for all your support.

If you enjoy this piece, you may enjoy this one too.

Originally posted on Medium