The Sting of Rejection

Querying writers are constantly knocked sideways by rejections. It’s part of writing to be hit by agents and publishers who do not see your hard work as anything special. You are like a pinball being catapulted between agents, none who value your writing.

Our writing may end up in a publisher’s slush pile and eventually after months of nail biting apprehension, the wait is dismissed by a simple NO. “Your work doesn’t fit with our blah blah bla.”

I get it, mots of us are not prodigies and writing geniuses - and yet we try. We believe our work deserves a chance to be published.

The question is how long do we keep trying? How long do we put ourselves through the constant rejections that pepper our inboxes?

How long is a piece of string?

For me, the answer is simple.

I keep going. I’m the pinball that eventually will hit the jackpot.

Why? You ask.

Am I deluded in thinking that my writing is better than other writers?

On the contrary, my writing is exactly the way it is right now, and I know there are many good writers out there whom I admire. I read every day — lots of it. I learn from writers like myself.

What sets me apart from other writers is my determination to keep going and my passion to get my voice heard.

I don’t want to be a doormat for the rest of my life. I write for those who have been through the worst that humanity can offer. For those who have seen things no one else can comprehend. For those who have been deeply unwanted and cast away from society.

My writing matters, and I know the right agent and publisher is out there.

I write because I can.

Yesterday, I had one of my biggest rejections in my writing career. I have been hoping for months for that positive YES.

It didn’t happen.

All I received was a short email rejection with no feedback as to why.

It hurt, big time. To top it all off, my youngest had an accident in the park.

I received a frantic phone call from my friend that he’d fallen off a climbing frame, and his wrist was probably broken.

I shot from my writing den, and picked up my hysterical son from the park a few blocks away. People stared at us with pity as we settled him in the car. His friends were in tears from the sight of his arm.

Yeah, it was nasty.

Pity — it doesn’t help. You pick yourself up and you get on.

I drove to the nearest ER as fast as I could, to get my son some pain relief. My husband called ahead, and they were expecting us. We got whisked into Xray — broken wrist. Yes, he needed surgery to reset the bone.

Forms filled out, permission slips… You know the drill.

My mind was whirring. First the rejection and now this. Could my day get any worse?

My son was admitted and scheduled for surgery. We had a sleepless night in hospital. My other son had an unexpected sleep over at a friend’s house.

A community helping us through our pain.

I’m writing this article, while my son is in surgery.

He will be fine. I hear going back to school with a cast is cool, according to a seven-year-old who had the same surgery. He is sharing a room with my son. Maybe my son will make a new friend as he recovers.

When life gives us melons, we have to think of a way to make lemonade.

Yesterday, my work was rejected but today there was a new sunrise on the horizon.

My son’s wrist is being reset. My writing will be too.

The Take away from this article:

1. Do not wallow in the pain. It doesn’t get you anywhere.

2. Do not invite pity. It makes you even more sad.

3. Try and think positive.

4. Reach out to friends and ask them to read drafts. Their help might surprise you.

5. Do not give up. Believe in yourself.

I turn to British writer Edward Hickson’s words from his book: The Singing Master. Published in 1836.

’Tis a lesson you should heed–

Try again;

If at first you don’t succeed,

Try again.

Then your courage should appear;

For if you will persevere,

You will conquer, never fear,

Try again.

Once or twice though you should fail,

If you would at last prevail,

Try again.

If we strive, ’tis no disgrace

Though we did not win the race–

What should you do in that case?

Try again.

If you find your task is hard.

Try again;

Time will bring you your reward,

Try again;

All that other folk can do,

Why with patience should not you?

Only keep this rule in view,

Try again.

Source: Edward Hickson, (1836) The Singing Master. Published by Taylor & Walton.

I put the first stanza in bold because it has been published many times by different authors. Some say it was American Educator; Thomas H. Palmer who wrote the words first, but his book was published in 1840. Here is the reference:

The Teacher’s Manual: Being an Exposition of an Efficient and Economical … — Page 209 by Thomas H. Palmer — 1840–263 pages.

Whoever came up with the words. I thank them because I will keep trying.

My name is Lizzy, and I’m a mom, teacher, author and mental health blogger. I write for those who don’t always feel that they have a voice. For more about me, my books and articles check out my website: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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