The Saddest Albums I've Ever Experienced, Part 2

Welcome back to the series I’m doing on the Melodrama “Everywhere at the end of time” by The Caretaker. Today we are going to be looking at the album “B” along with the intermission song called “STAGE 2”. In the least article, I kept referring to the listener, and reader as “Us, the Diagnosed”. I did that because that’s how its meant to be listened to. This is an Alzheimer’s simulator; we are the ones going through this. In this instance we are The Diagnosed. In this article it’s not going to change.

Again, this is the saddest series of albums I’ve ever heard. There isn’t an album where I didn’t shed a tear at least twice. If you want to experience them for yourself, go right ahead, but I’m doing this so you don’t have to. Reader’s discretion is advised.

B1- “All That Follows Is True”- This album already opens up with wonky distortion of the classic 20s-30s music playing. Its as if we are listening to a warped vinyl. The crackle and fuzziness are clearer than ever. The repetitive nature of the song reminds us that this disease is getting more and more prominent. The name is a statement, knowing there is nothing that can be done for the deterioration of the brain. Everything that happens next is true. It’s a saddening statement that has to be lived with. The uncertainty of what is coming up next is all too real.

B2- “An Autumnal Equinox”- The piano notes are sharp, the crackling is almost distracting, the feeling of the lingering cold is prominent. This song truly feels like the fall time. Everything is slowly losing color, becoming grey. It feels as if this is our favorite time, or was, but now is a perfect representation of our life. What is to become, a slow loss of color.

B3- “Quiet Internal Rebellions”- The opening to this song feels dreamy, uplifting. It’s a perfect name for a song. It feels like we are saying “I’m not going to let this ruin me. I’m not going to give in.” we are transported into a ballroom, or party. A place to dance and laugh, to have fun. There is no haze, no crackle or distortion, just a good time. It shows how powerful the human spirit, the human memory truly is. The warmth that resonates off this song is impeccable; you can feel it in your bones. It’s a sliver of hope in an otherwise cold, terrifying world.

B4- “The Loves of My Life”- This song starts off with piano, and this piano has an echoing effect on it. It bounces and leaves the last notes to linger. Its hard to tell the beginning of a new note and the end of the last one, but it is so beautiful, but so haunting. It feels as if we are looking at a photo and that photo is echoing through our psyche, but we can’t exactly pinpoint when, or where that photo was taken, or even why the photo was taken. But either way the photo is beautiful and full of care and love, and that’s all that matters. This song ends abruptly, as if we are startled by something.

B5- “Into Each Others Eyes”- I know I have used the word “somber” a lot, but its hard not to use that word when talking about a topic like this. This song starts so somberly, back to our reality of distortion and crackles. A haze and repetitive way of thinking. Then, on a turn of events, it begins to feel happy, as if you recognized your favorite song playing over the intercom at a busy mall. This song is meant to be danced to, and I truly believe that’s what we are doing here. Dancing with either our caretaker, or a family member, or spouse. It’s a moment of joy, happiness, vulnerability that we see, trying to get our spirits up by doing something we always loved to do. The pace in the song picks up a lot, to where we don’t even notice the crackling, or distortion. At some points in the song there is a trail of echo, but its hardly noticeable, as if we are trying to put that to the side, just for a moment.

B4- “My Heart Will Stop in Joy”- A loud symphony of what sounds to be triumph. A beautiful noise of life and determination. “No, no I’m not sick I will not allow myself to be sick. You just saw, I was moving and dancing. I’m fine.” As you slowly begin to listen more and more you realize this song isn’t a triumph: it’s a denial. A denial of what is about to come, of what is happening to our psyche. It’s a loud song of defeat.

“STAGE 2”- The skipping sound of a needle on a dusty, old, warped vinyl opens this song. More distant than ever, yet the song is bright, as if you’re sitting at a coffee table next to a window, looking out. The static like a train running through your mind, almost making it impossible to concentrate or hear anything or anyone. And it only gets louder, it is a deafening recycled white noise that although doesn’t build in the song, builds in your mind, to where it’s the only thing you can truly pay attention to. The song behind this noise is a very well-constructed song, but we just can’t pay attention to it. A fog, a loud, disruptive haze has overshadowed the beauty. Stage two of Alzheimer’s has begun. The song ends with the background song fading out, but the loud road of white noise,, almost a rain like sound, stays, then abruptly stops.

Now, I did some research on Alzheimer’s to really drive home the point of how terrible this disease really is, and I didn’t add findings to my last article because, well, its hard to determine. There aren’t really any noticeable signs of impairment, other than short term memory loss, but that happens in a lot of Americans. Its here in stage two where we begin to see mild cognitive decline. Forgetfulness being the main symptom. This means album “C” is going to be rougher to listen to. And it is. All six albums correspond with a stage in Alzheimer’s. All six albums make up a six-hour, tear ridden, powerful melodrama. And it only gets worse, no happy ending, no cure, nothing.

Hug someone you love, tell the people in your life you love them, and please take care of yourself. Next article will be on album “C” in the intense Melodrama called “Everywhere At The End Of Time".