The Results are IN!
What's the news, Doc?
Well, the wait is finally over. There's good news. Amazing news. So here it is: Chemotherapy has worked. There is necrotic tissue on the lymph nodes shown in the CT scan. The tumor shrank significantly, as well. What are the next steps? Where do we go from here on this roller coaster ride? Well, I'll tell you.
Surgery is scheduled for July 2nd since the rest of June is pretty busy for us right now. They are hoping to do everything laparoscopically, like they did for my partial hysterectomy. However, there are risks in doing it this way. From what my oncologist said that were the lymph nodes that were infected nodules are, it's risky. The Lymph Nodes are literally smaller than one's fingernail, but that's not the difficult part. Where the nodes are, I have other organs in the way. So they may need to make a bigger incision. Now, depending on how big the incision is, I may have a hospital stay. If I stay in the hospital, it could be anywhere from three to ten days there. Which I wouldn't be happy about. We haven't told the kids yet; I'm afraid to. If I don't come home, I'm disrupting the entire household. There will be chaos ensued by four children. There will be crying and whining, and I apologize to my family in advance. Whenever I get home, there will be a four to eight-week healing period. No lifting, no rough housing, and being escorted again for a bit. It hurts my pride that I won't be able to help during this time period. I'm also missing the remainder of Summer. Gone, in the blink of an eye. I won't be able to do much, and it hurts my soul. I wanted to do fun things this summer, but it doesn't seem like that'll be happening. I hope the kids can still have fun without me. I hope that they can forgive me one day.
The next step is to do a PET scan to see if there are any trace amounts of cancer left. This will be on a microscopic level. If he gets everything out, there is still a possibility that there may be fragments left over. This will give us insight if there is still cancer or not. From there, the next step will be radiation. Now I'm not sure a hundred percent if radiation will be a thing if there isn't cancer. However, it is my understanding that it will happen anyway. Once you cut into cancer, it can spread like wildfire on the inside. It's another risk of having surgery. So to keep that from happening, radiation will start. It'll be every day for about twenty minutes to a half an hour. That will put a strain on the car and gas; I'm not looking forward to that bit at all.
The anxiety, I thought, was quelled on this news. However, I was wrong. When I received the news, it hadn't hit me. However, at 3 am last night (June 10th into the 11th), it hit me like a brick wall. I was so riddled with anxiety that I actually threw up. It took over an hour to get out of the anxiety monster, and it came back today. I have a feeling I'll be riding the anxiety roller coaster until after radiation. I've never had anxiety this bad before. I don't know how to handle it. The next few weeks, I need to be calm and collected. I cannot afford to get sick because of the anxiety.
I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I believe. I'm hoping by New Year's, that this horrible nightmare comes to an end.
About the Creator
Jessie Lynn Nelson
Cancer Warrior
Photographer
Fur-Mom
Best Auntie/God Mommy in the world
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Comments (3)
We can still have fun this summer. There are plenty of chill activities we can do. Marlee and Xander are too young, and if we don't tell the kids, it's unlikely there will be a big fuss. Sky will be at Voldemorts house half the summer, so she may not even be here for most of your hospital stay, if that's what happens. Dean may be the only one to notice and know whats going on. But he's at an age where he will be able to help out, and hes such a good boy he will probably help out anyway. We can still have fun with the kids this summer. We just can't do things like a water park. I will make sure to take the kids around to places too. Your only job is to focus on healing. Not to worry about things that others can take care of. That way whatever you feel like you missed out on this summer, we can make up for next summer when you're better, and live full throttle. For now. You are important enough that we can make summer a low-activity but STILL super fun time for the kids, and be able to include you too. That is what family does. We are not going to let you feel alone through this. The solution isn't to just leave you out. The solution is working together so we can operate as a family together for whats best for you too. We can do that. You worry about healing and coping. Dont worry about money. We love you, and you don't need to stress over that. We will figure it out. We got this as a family.
Thank you for sharing. And wishing you all the best. I hope the anxiety loosens so you can enjoy the summer.
You are one your way! Good luck!