The Problem With Being Nice

"Wow, she's so nice and brings food to the party every time."

"Mary is always extremely nice and assists me with my studies whenever she can."

Most pleasant individuals only try to communicate that they are nice. They give off the impression of outstanding individuals, but they are just excellent signalers. When it is pointed out to us, we don't realize that we are engaging in the behavior since we are so skilled at it.

Based on the trolley dilemma, the following test will help you determine where you stand. Imagine that there was a train coming in the direction of five persons. One individual can be seen standing on the other railroad track. You are close to a lever that will direct the train to one person rather than five people... Could you pull it off?

Now consider a different possibility. Imagine that you are on a bridge next to a very tall and huge man. There is still a train coming toward the five individuals underneath the bridge. You notice the man leaning over, and you can shove him over the edge onto the train, preventing the train from murdering the other five people. Could you pull it off?

Last scenario. You have been promoted to the position of the physician. You now have five patients, each suffering from a unique organ failure. A patient comes in for an appointment. While performing the diagnosis, you realize that his five organs are compatible with the five organs that have failed in other patients. You may complete an organ transplant, which would result in the death of one person but the survival of five others. Could you pull it off?

What if that one person turns out to be your mother, your father, or your closest friend?

Decent individuals would give up on the second possibility. They might say, "It just doesn't feel right." This indicates that they need to give adequate consideration to what is desirable.

Kind people are not always wonderful; instead, they were raised in settings where decent behavior was recognized and praised.

They act under the societal pressures they face. As a result of the fact that murder runs counter to social incentives, we view it as unethical.

Ask ourselves: Do we genuinely wish to help others, or have we conformed to the standards of acceptable behavior in various social groups?

People who walk around with signs proclaiming "Stop Climate Change" are aggressively polite people. They need to put forth the effort to conduct the necessary engineering work to make it happen. Everyone speaks highly of them and thinks they are wonderful people. Still, if they genuinely cared, they would have pursued a career in engineering. The problem is that no one appreciates your engineering work.

The following are traits that are common among those who are considered to be good people:

Strong tendency to fit in with the crowd.

Strong desire to be accepted by one's peers.

Act like a decent human being.

To be reasonable means acting in a way that benefits the entire human race.

This requires giving up one thing in exchange for five others, including the possibility that you or one of your closest friends need to make the ultimate sacrifice. It is the way that has the most significance attached to it.

To be reasonable means to give up some of your humanity for the sake of other people.

Being a good person could require you to travel the path by yourself. Putting up ideas that are in opposition—gaining the disapproval of several social groupings. All in the name of humanity. Then, despite all this, you don't get acknowledgment for anything you've given up. Then you should be aware of that, but you should keep moving forward.

Are we willing to sacrifice our humanity for the greater good? To subject ourselves to a process that is even more painful than dying? To give up everything and run the risk of nothing having any significance? This is the highest offering that can be made.

Individuals who conduct research and founders who are focused on making an effect are the types of people I most admire. They are willing to sacrifice everything in the name of humanity's advancement. People who are aware of the dangers involved have seen hell and are aware that no one will support them despite their decision to proceed nevertheless. They are genuine examples of bravery.

Elon Musk serves as a model for me in this regard. He gave up everything that he had. Work weeks that are 100 hours long have a problematic personality and miserable family life. For a decade without receiving any recognition. All in the name of humanity

Earlier, I stated that pleasant people are only sometimes excellent people; instead, they are merely people who were raised in settings where being polite is praised and appreciated. Ironically, now that you know this, you can choose either option.

Would you prefer a good reputation, or would you rather have a nice one?