The Perils of Being a Ginger: One Woman's Tale of Love and Loss

I’m a natural redhead, and have been my whole life. I’ve never dyed my hair, nor have I ever considered it. I like being different and have grown to really love my hair color, warts and all! I’m sure you know of someone who has had their heart broken because of their hair color, perhaps you even know what it feels like yourself? The truth is that we as ginger people, face great hardships in our romantic lives that people with naturally darker hair color just don’t understand.

background

I never really thought much about my hair color growing up. I was a ginger, sure, but so were a lot of other kids in my class. It wasn't until I got older that I realized just how unique my hair color was. And, apparently, some people are really into that. I met Rob at a party last year, and we started dating not long after. He loved my hair—he said it was one of the things he liked most about me—and even though we had an on-again-off-again relationship throughout the first few months, he always told me it didn't matter because he loved my red locks too much to let go. But then one day, as I was getting ready for work, he called and left a voicemail telling me that it's time. When I called him back, all he would say is It's time, before hanging up again.

I never saw him again. A month later, I found out from one of his friends that he'd been cheating on me with his ex girlfriend who has brown hair. Apparently it turns out I'm too intense or something? Anyway, yeah. The moral of this story is that if you're reading this and have a head full of fiery curls like me, be careful when you date outside your hair type. You may end up being dumped for someone else who looks nothing like you. Or worse, they might leave you for someone else who is better looking than you. Let this serve as a warning to anyone else whose life goal is finding their perfect match.

Playing the role

I never thought much about my hair color until I started dating Jack. He was the first guy to ever tell me that he loved my red hair. I felt special and loved, like I finally found someone who truly understood me. But then, out of nowhere, he dumped me. He said it was because of my hair color. That I was too different from him. I was heartbroken. My perfect relationship had been torn apart by something as silly as a few inches of my head. When I told everyone at work what happened, they all laughed at me and said It's not your hair that broke up with you. They were right; it wasn't just my hair, but also how proud I was to be unique in this world. I dyed my hair brown to make myself feel more confident again. A year later, I met Joe on Tinder and we got married last week. He loves my ginger locks just as much as Jack did! I'm so happy.

I can't believe it took me so long to find my true love. Well, sometimes being different isn't such a bad thing after all.

I can't believe it took me so long to find my true love. Well, sometimes being different isn't such a bad thing after all. Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone. Sometimes change is good for us in the end. We grow and learn to accept ourselves. I think it's time to embrace who I am and stop trying to please other people all the time.

That fateful night...

I'll never forget that fateful night. I was out with my friends, having the time of my life, when I saw him across the room. Our eyes locked and I knew it was meant to be. We danced all night and when it was time to say goodbye, he gave me his number. I was on top of the world. But when we started talking every day, he told me he had something important to tell me. My heart sunk as I realized what it must be. It's about your hair, he said in his text message, I don't want you to read too much into this but can you change it? It took every ounce of strength not to break down in tears right then and there. It took me weeks before I could get up the courage to go back out again. I kept telling myself that it wasn't because of my hair, he just didn't like redheads. And maybe I just wasn't his type. In any case, I vowed to take no for an answer from now on; after all, nobody is perfect! As the months went by, I noticed less and less redheads around town. What's happening to us? I thought to myself. Is everyone becoming more self-conscious than ever? Just as things were looking up, one morning I woke up feeling more exhausted than usual. I quickly rushed to the bathroom mirror - what if all these nights of little sleep are taking their toll on me?! After examining my face closely, I came to the conclusion that while I'm not getting any younger, at least my skin doesn't have a single wrinkle. After brushing my teeth and gargling some mouthwash (you know what they say about keeping your mouth healthy!), I hopped into bed thinking how lucky I am to have avoided the ills of society and continue to enjoy the perks of being young. A few hours later, I received a call from work asking me to come in earlier than usual. But since it was already 8AM, I replied that I couldn't make it today. They insisted until finally saying Alright, see you tomorrow. Worried, I called my boss who explained that she had made a mistake and wanted me to come in later.

Stories are universal

We've all been there: you meet someone, you hit it off, things seem to be going great...until they suddenly dump you for no apparent reason. It can be tough to get over, especially if you were really into them. But when you're a ginger, it can be even harder. When I was dumped, my first thought was I must have done something wrong. Turns out I didn't. My now ex-boyfriend just wasn't attracted to gingers - he loved redheads! The day he dumped me he said, You are such a beautiful person on the inside and out, but I'm not attracted to your hair color. He continued, I love redheads. He ended by saying, It will never work between us. I still find myself pining after him from time to time. There is a special place in my heart for this guy. Every once in awhile, we'll text each other or see each other in passing around town and say hi or whatnot, but our relationship is over as far as we're concerned. He has moved on with a new girl who has red hair. At least she appreciates his favorite color more than I did; she gets it. She gets that he prefers redheads. And honestly, I'm glad that he found someone else because maybe I would have stayed stuck on him for too long and felt bad about moving on myself.

What does that mean? Well, it means that being dumped doesn't always mean that you did anything wrong or weren't attractive enough. In my case, my boyfriend couldn't deal with having a girlfriend who had ginger hair instead of red hair like him. As heartbreaking as it was, I learned an important lesson: don't take rejection personally and know that you're worthy of meeting someone who sees you for the awesome person that you are. No matter how many times people try to remind me that I am beautiful and worthy of loving, I still feel insecure about myself sometimes. You know, as a woman living in society today it's impossible not to compare yourself to others or worry about every little thing you do or don't do. But then again, my grandma always told me You're gorgeous honey. And now that I'm older (and wiser), I realize she was right!