"The Path of 21 Days"

Hello!

To better understand what lies ahead, follow these 10 rules:

1. If you’re here to read a book, this isn’t the place.

This is not a book in the traditional sense. It’s a philosophical experiment captured in real moments.

2. Don’t expect logic; expect revelations.

The conclusion doesn’t matter as much as the process of reflection itself. Sometimes thoughts end abruptly, but it’s in those pauses that real life happens.

3. This is neither literature nor philosophy.

It’s something in between. I write about the real and the eternal, without trying to belong to one world or the other.

4. These entries are a journey.

Don’t expect it to be linear. It twists, turns into dead ends, loops back, but every step is still progress.

5. The purpose here is not to teach you.

Everything you’ll find on these pages is my life, my doubts, my search. If they reveal something to you, that’s wonderful.

6. There’s no room for pretense here.

Every entry is the truth of its moment, even if it’s messy, uncomfortable, or unsettling.

7. Leave your expectations at the door.

If you’re looking for elegant prose, structured logic, or ready-made answers, you won’t find them. Instead, you’ll find honesty.

8. This isn’t for everyone.

If something here seems boring, strange, or incomprehensible to you, that’s okay. Maybe this diary just isn’t meant for you.

9. Everyone reads their own version.

What you see in these entries depends entirely on you. Some will see chaos, others philosophy, and others still an attempt to survive in an illogical world.

10. This is not the end.

This diary is not a finished story. It continues beyond these pages, because life continues.

If you’re ready for this journey, turn to the first entry. If not, that’s okay too. But remember: honesty with yourself is always a step forward

Welcome to the diary!

Table of Contents

1. Introduction: The Beginning of Exploration

Date: 04.01.2025

The start of the diary project—a journey into questions of identity, self-discovery, and society. Reflections on Ukraine's identity, the impact of labels, and the pursuit of truth in a relative world.

2. Winter’s Paradox: Seasons of Perception

Date: 05.01.2025

Observations on the shifting seasons, time’s subjectivity, and the persistence of injustice. Chess and classical music set the stage for musings on consciousness, egoism, and freedom.

3. Monochrome Mind: Experiments in Focus

Date: 06.01.2025

A small experiment with a monochrome phone display sparks thoughts on perception. Frustrations with bureaucracy and reflections on how social theories serve both society and the self.

4. Creative Frustrations: A Day of Setbacks

Date: 07.01.2025

Challenges with publishing, helping a friend, and grappling with technical difficulties. A day filled with persistence despite setbacks.

5. The Weight of Repetition: Struggles with Progress

Date: 08.01.2025

Reflections on life’s cyclical nature, the value of creator-support platforms, and the balance between egoism and empathy.

6. Hospital Chaos: Plans and Realities

Date: 09.01.2025

A day disrupted by hospital visits. Thoughts on morality versus survival and the fragility of carefully made plans.

7. The Cost of Systems: Health and Humanity

Date: 10.01.2025

A critique of healthcare systems, the prioritization of bureaucracy over care, and the importance of small victories in a world that often feels indifferent.

8. Rediscovering Chess: Art in Logic

Date: 11.01.2025

Chess as a blend of logic and creativity. Reflections on nostalgia, personal growth, and the importance of writing authentically.

9. Imitation and Authenticity: Lessons from a Note

Date: 12.01.2025

A note on animal imitation inspires thoughts on authenticity in society. Visits to the barber and musings on self-discipline.

10. The Struggle of Rest: When the Mind Won’t Stop

Date: 13.01.2025

Reflections on the paradox of rest, the allure of storytelling, and the importance of embracing pause amidst life’s busyness.

11. Chasing Progress: The Weight of Expectations

Date: 14.01.2025

Contemplating the ease of giving up, the challenges of creative pursuits, and the tension between moral principles and practical realities.

12. Self-Critique and Milestones: Writing a Book

Date: 15.01.2025

Starting a philosophical book, exploring the challenges of creation, and questioning how progress is defined in creative endeavors.

13. Small Victories: The Power of Praise

Date: 16.01.2025

Celebrating small wins, grappling with platform limitations, and exploring how technology both aids and restricts creativity.

14. Balancing Dreams and Reality

Date: 17.01.2025

Reflections on ambition, the pursuit of dreams, and finding authenticity in a world shaped by financial and systemic barriers.

15. The Path of Reflection: Starting a Book

Date: 18.01.2025

Progress on the book, questions of audience versus personal creation, and the balance between introspection and action.

16. Significance in the Mundane

Date: 19.01.2025

Musings on the importance of self-discipline, navigating doubt, and finding meaning in the everyday.

17. The Weight of Systems: Fighting the Absurd

Date: 20.01.2025

Critiques of bureaucracy, reflections on humanity’s focus on trivialities, and writing a manifesto on the urgency of addressing global issues.

18. Seeking Clarity in Darkness

Date: 21.01.2025

Thoughts on disappointment, global warming, and the pursuit of significance through personal and societal change.

19. Disconnected: Floating Through Time

Date: 22.01.2025

Feeling adrift in the absence of external guidance. Reflections on systemic inefficiencies and the search for direction in life’s chaos.

20. Darkness and Persistence: The Night Entry

Date: 23.01.2025

Writing a manifesto, facing systemic obstacles, and reflecting on the meaning of significance in a world of constraints.

21. The Closing Note: A New Beginning

Date: 24–25.01.2025

The final entry of the first collection. A brief reflection on the journey, a call to pause and recharge, and an invitation to embrace the next chapter with renewed energy.

Date: January 4, 2025

Today marks the beginning of my new project. This is not just a diary. It’s a journey—into the depths of questions, reflections, and ideas that define my existence. It might seem strange to address an electronic diary as if it were alive. But perhaps it’s this process that gives meaning to what I write.

Who am I?

This question haunts me. A simple yet simultaneously immense question, “Who am I?”—the starting point. I notice how the people around me, just like me, strive to find their significance. But what does that mean?

My childhood unfolded against the backdrop of Ukraine becoming more than just a geographical point. It was becoming an idea, a concept, an identity. “Ukrainians”—not just a word, but something greater: an attempt to unite us through shared culture, shared values. And yet, as so often happens, instead of discovering our identity, we find ourselves trapped by labels.

From the moment we are born, we are assigned statuses that sometimes distance us from self-discovery. Instead of asking who we are, we become accustomed to societal expectations. We strive to conform rather than to explore.

I feel that the fear of the unknown is one of humanity’s strongest fears. What awaits me beyond life? Eternal death? A new life? Or something for which we don’t even have words? These questions keep me restless.

Physics promises to explain everything, yet we know so little. We’re told the universe is millions of years old. But what do we truly understand about it? All we’ve mastered is ordering chips online. It’s both funny and terrifying.

It’s interesting that by addressing a diary, I’m essentially giving it “life.” At this moment, it ceases to be just a text file. Imagine that, years from now, hundreds of people could agree with this and even acknowledge the diary’s rights.

Absurd? Perhaps. But isn’t this exactly what humanity does? We assign meaning to things we create ourselves. We create rules, laws, beliefs—and we believe in them, even if they are entirely subjective.

Einstein said that time is relative. I think this applies not only to physics but also to perception. One person feels free, another feels like a prisoner. One sees the world as just, another as tyrannical.

These differences in perception shape our reality. But if everything is relative, how do we find the truth? Or do we need to learn to live with the idea that the only truth is our own perception?

The path to self-discovery is not easy. But it’s this path that allows us to move forward. Perhaps I’ll never find the answers. But is that a reason to stop? No. It’s a reason to keep searching. Every step on this path is not just an attempt to understand who I am but also an opportunity to offer those answers to others

A Space for Reflection

If you could create an idea or concept that defines you, what would it be?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 5, 2025

Winter in Kyiv today feels more like autumn. This contradiction of seasons reminds us how subjective time and reality can be. One year, I’m sliding on ice, fully embracing winter, and the next, I’m basking in golden light and hearing the rustle of leaves as if it’s October. Is this a discrepancy in nature or a trick of our perception?

Playing chess to the sound of classical music, I reflected on the concept of aristocracy—not as pomp and prestige, but as freedom. Aristocracy, in its purest sense, is not a status but a choice: a choice to grow, to seek knowledge, or to pursue truth.

“There’s no justice in the world.” A simple statement from a TV series, yet it resonates deeply. Why does injustice persist despite thousands of years of progress? The world was unjust 2,000 years ago, and it remains so today. Why aren’t we fighting harder against it?

Is the problem systemic, or do we as individuals simply fail to ask the right questions? The phrase “Consciousness determines being” seems fitting. But if our consciousness is shaped by learning, how can we grow if we don’t understand our own thoughts?

Egoism offers an intriguing lens for self-reflection. Acknowledging our selfish tendencies can be enriching, but awareness is only the first step. Finding a balance where egoism doesn’t harm others yet doesn’t negate itself is the true challenge.

And even here, questions arise:

• If egoism strengthens self-confidence, is it really bad?

• Is our influence on others always justified?

Yesterday, I shared you, dear Diary, with the world—publishing my first entry online. The process was both enlightening and challenging. Humanity’s greatest invention—language—often becomes a barrier. Every translation risks distorting meaning, creating gaps between intent and understanding.

And yet, I remain hopeful. A day will come when these misunderstandings fade, when our collective pursuit of connection overcomes divisions. Perhaps, in those moments of unity, I’ll find answers to my own questions.

A Space for Reflection

Can egoism be a positive force? How do you find balance between egoism and empathy?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 6, 2025

Today, I followed a friend’s suggestion and switched my phone’s color scheme to monochrome. A small experiment with a bold claim: reshaping how the brain perceives information. It’s an intriguing thought — that such a subtle change might redefine focus and clarity. As I walk the path of a self-proclaimed researcher, I realize that the pursuit of understanding often begins with the smallest of changes.

Experiments need no external validation when they serve personal growth. Certificates and accolades may validate for others, but the truest measure of discovery lies in the process itself.

My journey to connect with the scientific world has so far been met with silence. Letters to organizations and institutes remain unanswered, as if lost in the void. It’s a humbling reminder that some barriers, like social or bureaucratic ones, can feel insurmountable compared to language differences.

Still, in frustration lies perspective. My unorthodox methods may seem eccentric, but they allow me to question the familiar from new angles. However, I am haunted by a chilling irony: our world claims compassion yet readily dismisses those who think differently.

A Theory for Myself

As I ponder the relevance of my own social theory, I realize it may not solely serve society — perhaps it is an answer I seek for myself. To understand the mechanisms of thought, consciousness, and interaction is to delve into the core of who we are.

But the search is daunting, and doubt creeps in. Are these entries even meaningful? Or are they just a series of unanswered questions spiraling into a void?

"They say it takes 21 days to form a habit," I remind myself. But how long does it take to form clarity?

The idea of retraining military personnel for civilian professions feels urgent and essential. Yet it remains an idea, suspended in thought. The material world demands action, but action requires resources, connections, and systemic will.

"Any idea is just an idea. Go and make it happen."

This is the echo of our reality — one that rewards results but often ignores potential.

Chess has become a solace for me, a space where logic meets creativity. I reflect on my past, holding a first-category rank, and the nostalgia of understanding chess as an art rather than a set of memorized moves. Perhaps this realization came late, but it underscores the value of personal insight over prescriptive learning.

I contemplate moving this diary to Substack, envisioning it as a living narrative. A place where readers can engage not just with polished thoughts but with the raw process of discovery.

Yet uncertainty looms. Can platforms silence ideas without reason? In this chaotic digital world, how does one ensure the survival of their voice?

Amid the chaos of unanswered questions, one truth stands firm:

Only what I do shapes me as a person.

Reflective Space

What small experiments have you conducted in your life, and how have they shaped your perspective?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 7, 2025

A day begins in many ways. For me, mornings seem to start not with coffee or sunlight but with explaining ideas to an artificial intelligence. It’s a curious rhythm—one where technology bridges gaps but sometimes creates its own hurdles. Neural networks, brilliant as they are, often feel like unpredictable partners in creativity.

Today, a simple desire for a picture became a tangled challenge. While the journal I contribute to has become a sanctuary of acceptance, the mechanics of sharing my thoughts—on platforms like Medium—sometimes feel overwhelming. Is it me, my blindness, or the inherent complexity of the system? These questions linger, yet the answers don’t matter as much as perseverance.

As an old saying goes:

“Foolishness is cured by pain.”

Here, the "pain" is delay—a disruption in plans that reminds me that the journey of creativity is seldom smooth.

Today wasn’t just about personal challenges. A friend needed help, and I dedicated my energy to their concerns. These moments, though taxing, bring a unique fulfillment. Sometimes, the act of being useful to others outweighs the weight of our own uncertainties.

This experience reinforces a profound truth:

Purpose isn’t just about self-discovery; it’s also about connection.

Despite the chaos, I found a way to publish my entry. It’s a small victory, but it symbolizes resilience. These little wins, stitched together, form the fabric of progress.

Dreams of a brighter tomorrow fill my evening. Thoughts of improving my work—adding links, refining descriptions, expanding platforms like Ko-fi—remind me that growth is a continuous process.

As the day draws to a close, the future feels uncertain yet inviting. Whether challenges come with a smile of paper or flesh, the promise of tomorrow is worth embracing.

Reflective Space:

How do you balance personal goals with the needs of others?

Write your reflections below:

Date: January 8, 2025

Each day begins with a familiar sensation—rushing without direction. Life, like a loop, repeats itself, blurring the lines between yesterday, today, and tomorrow. The pressure to prove oneself can be overwhelming, especially when faced with the weight of past failures. Yet, the desire to live authentically, relying on one’s own abilities, persists as a quiet but powerful force.

It’s in these moments of honesty that the essence of growth emerges. A diary becomes not just a record but a mirror, reflecting the inner struggles and hopes that shape our identity.

The concept of donation platforms is a noble one—a bridge between creators and admirers. Yet, in a world filled with exploitation and criminal schemes, even the purest ideas can become tarnished. How do we reclaim this space as one of genuine connection?

Introducing a system where transparency reigns—where readers can see not just the final thoughts but the journey leading to them—is an ambitious and exciting endeavor. It’s a reminder that authenticity in creation is a powerful antidote to doubt and misrepresentation.

One profound idea emerges: “I’m with you” is more than words; it’s an allocation of mental and emotional space for someone else. This realization transforms relationships, emphasizing the importance of intentionality and connection. Each time we open ourselves to others, we reshape our consciousness, creating room for shared experiences and mutual understanding.

While grand plans are on the horizon, the focus remains on today. Each entry in this diary represents a truth—raw, evolving, and unapologetic. There is power in embracing the present moment, even as the future looms with uncertainty.

Reflective Space:

How do you balance the desire for personal growth with the repetition of daily life?

Write your reflections below:

Date: January 9, 2025

Life has a curious way of reminding us of its unpredictability. Today was meant to begin with a hospital visit, but oversleeping threw the day off course. As the saying goes,

"plans are a fragile thing."

No matter how well we prepare, the unexpected often reclaims control, reminding us of the delicate balance between intention and reality.

Even something as simple as an unexpected message from an editor sparks a cascade of thoughts: Who are they, truly? In an age where authenticity is clouded by imitation, distinguishing genuine intent from facade becomes a challenge.

A friend’s idea to host Python meetups stirs reflections on the accessibility of knowledge. Why, in fields like psychology and philosophy, is practical, approachable teaching still so elusive? Must deep understanding always come at the cost of endless memorization and dense academic barriers?

The comparison to programming highlights a pressing need: the democratization of abstract thought. What if wisdom could be shared with the same clarity and structure as coding tutorials? Philosophy could transform from an esoteric pursuit into an accessible tool for daily life.

Sometimes, the mind feels like a parched landscape — devoid of creativity, thoughts, and emotions. After days of rapid thinking, a pause might seem like failure, but it’s merely the brain’s natural rhythm recalibrating. Even in stagnation, there is value, as the pause allows for reflection and growth.

The sensation of hovering near answers without truly reaching them reflects the complexity of understanding. The promise of clarity often lies just beyond reach, urging us to persist despite the discomfort of uncertainty.

Even on days that feel void of accomplishment, the essence of meaning lies in the choices we make. Each small decision contributes to the larger narrative of who we are and who we strive to become. The act of assigning purpose to a seemingly empty day transforms it into a stepping stone for tomorrow.

Reflective Space:

• How do you navigate days when plans fall apart?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 10, 2025

Today was a reminder of how systems, especially healthcare, often prioritize process over people. Hours spent in queues and cold hallways serve as a reflection of systemic inefficiencies.

The words of Hippocrates—"First, treat the patient"—feel distant in a world where bureaucracy and statistics take precedence.

This isn’t just a local issue; the global healthcare landscape shows the same patterns. For example, in the U.S., health insurance dominates, leaving lives reliant on policies and fine print. Instead of fostering trust and relationships, systems often widen the gap between people and care.

It’s tempting to hope for a savior—a figure who will solve our world’s problems. But century after century, we remain in the same cycles. True change doesn’t come from waiting; it comes from collective action.

Today’s exhaustion, however, serves as a reminder: action often feels out of reach in the face of systemic challenges. Yet, even small efforts—posting, creating, or helping one person—can make a meaningful difference.

The diary itself reflects this chaotic yet hopeful journey. Losing a post, gaining followers, receiving feedback—all these moments shape a broader narrative of growth. Whether restoring missing entries or connecting with readers, there’s an underlying truth: chaos can coexist with progress.

Through platforms like Medium and Ko-fi, connections form that transcend physical limitations. Comments and followers show that even in the vastness of the digital world, people find meaning in shared experiences. Each interaction underscores the value of community and the power of vulnerability in writing.

Amid collaborations with talented friends and innovations like text-analysis algorithms, one truth stands firm: staying true to oneself is vital. Ideas gain power not through their complexity but through the authenticity of the person behind them.

Reflective Space:

How do you navigate systems that prioritize processes over people?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 11, 2025

The morning began with an undeniable coldness—not just in the air but in the emotional weight of the day ahead. Yet, even in moments of hesitation, the act of waking up itself becomes a quiet triumph. Small achievements, like opening one’s eyes or simply choosing to face the world, hold profound meaning when life feels daunting.

In a world chasing validation, there is something revolutionary in writing for oneself. The diary reflects a candid commitment to self-expression, free from the clamor for recognition. Yet, the subtle satisfaction of acknowledgment—symbolized by “claps” on Medium—reminds us of our human need to connect and be seen.

But what drives this need for approval?

• Fame?

• Money?

• Legacy?

Asking these questions reveals the fleeting nature of external validation. A single cosmic event, like a solar flare, could erase the very systems we build our lives around. If everything we value is temporary, what significance do our pursuits hold?

The diary paints a stark picture of a world steeped in lies: from politicians and acquaintances to the self-deceptions we quietly accept. This pervasive dishonesty clouds reality, distorting how we see ourselves and others. Yet, acknowledging these falsehoods can be the first step toward breaking free from their grip.

While offers of support may sound sincere, they often dissolve when truly needed. The diary captures the frustration of being told, “We’ll help you,” only to be met with reluctance when asking for assistance. This disconnect highlights a broader societal issue—one where words of encouragement often lack the action to back them up.

The diary reflects on its author’s determination to create meaning through action, even in a world that feels indifferent. Whether sharing insights about ADHD or challenging deeply ingrained deceit, the message is clear: significance isn’t granted—it’s defined through effort and authenticity.

How do we find value in a world that often feels meaningless? The answer lies not in grand theories or applause but in small, genuine acts of truth and connection.

Reflective Space:

When have you felt the sting of unfulfilled promises, and how did you move forward?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 12, 2025

Today’s quiet snow-covered morning brings reflections on life’s most challenging questions. Choices often feel like a maze, especially when morality and survival are at odds. When life demands actions that contradict principles, how do we determine the "right" decision?

This internal conflict highlights a universal human struggle:

• Is life more valuable than morality?

• Can acting against your values ever be justified?

• What defines courage in the face of impossible choices?

These questions aren’t just personal—they echo through history and resonate with anyone grappling with the weight of decisions.

Dreams, often dismissed as fleeting moments, can serve as guides, revealing truths we might not face consciously. They mark the transition from instinct to insight, from animalistic fears to human understanding. Walking this path is neither easy nor linear, yet it’s a journey everyone must undertake to grow.

The day’s research centers on the creation of ideas:

• How are new ideas formed?

• What qualifies as truly “new” in a world inundated with recycled thoughts?

Philosophy offers its lens, suggesting that all ideas build upon prior ones. Whether Hegel, Rousseau, or Sartre, the message often circles back to the relationship between individuals and society. But does philosophy merely reframe these concepts without providing solutions?

Perhaps the answer lies not in answers but in the act of questioning itself. New ideas emerge at the intersection of curiosity and connection, where small details converge into innovative realizations.

Despite a world filled with possibilities for connection, trust remains fragile. Invitations from strangers can inspire hope, but experiences with deceit—like scammers on Telegram—remind us of human vulnerability. This raises an important idea:

A platform for authors, editors, and creators to collaborate and support one another. A space free from the complexities of platforms like Medium.

Yet, even such a vision confronts a challenge: pride. Will those who could benefit the most from mutual aid embrace it? Or will fear of judgment hold them back?

As the day ends, the diary reflects on the need for rest and renewal. The path forward is filled with unknowns, but each new day offers a chance to explore, create, and connect.

Reflective Space

How do you reconcile morality and survival when they conflict?

Write your reflections below:

Date: January 13, 2025

While Sundays for some are marked by tradition, for others, like me, they become moments of quiet reflection. My "church" is not a physical building but the comfort of my apartment, a warm cup of Chinese tea, and the soothing melodies of classical music. Yet, even on days of supposed rest, the persistent pull of responsibility tugs at me.

Is rest truly rest if the mind remains entangled in its obligations?

As I glance at the progression of entries, the idea of turning this growing diary into a mini-book surfaces. But with it comes the weight of questions:

• Is it worth compiling these reflections into something tangible?

• Would it serve a purpose beyond personal catharsis?

• How do I make it meaningful to others?

These musings are a microcosm of a larger societal quandary: how we balance creating for ourselves versus creating for others.

A rediscovered note sparks a fascinating thought: “

A dog wants to imitate.”

It’s a simple observation, yet deeply profound. Animals, in their simplicity, imitate to navigate their environments. But when we look at humans, the act of imitation transforms into something far more complex.

• Do we imitate to belong?

• Is imitation a way to avoid the discomfort of self-discovery?

In observing society, it becomes apparent how much of our lives are guided by the idols and ideas we choose to follow. Are we, as individuals, sacrificing authenticity for convenience?

Even mundane activities like a visit to the barber reveal lessons in patience and self-care. The act of growing and maintaining long hair mirrors a deeper process of self-discipline and resilience. It’s easier to take shortcuts in life, but challenges—whether in appearance or identity—force us to grow.

Broadening Horizons

The thought of publishing in a different magazine arises. While familiar spaces offer comfort, new platforms present opportunities to connect with diverse audiences. This balancing act between comfort zones and unexplored territory is an essential part of growth.

• Should loyalty to a single space limit the reach of ideas?

• How do creators measure the impact of their work when statistics fail to capture its essence?

Tomorrow is not just another day—it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to embrace new rules, to experiment with identity, and to challenge the inertia of routine.

Reflective Space

How do you avoid imitating others?

Write your reflections below:

Date: January 14, 2025

Monday arrives with its typical baggage — routines shattered and motivation faltering. The day begins late, and with that delay comes the cascading anxiety of unmet schedules.

Why does structure feel so essential? For some, like me, schedules are the foundation of clarity, preventing the chaos of unorganized days. Yet, when they falter, I am reminded of a truth:

The "right" way is always relative.

The question remains: How do we forgive ourselves for simply being human?

I never expected to stay loyal to this project beyond ten days, yet here I am, filling your pages again. This commitment, though small, reveals a deeper truth:

• Growth comes not in grand achievements but in consistent effort.

• Even laughter at my own repetition — “filling your pages” — signals progress.

But growth also demands exploration, and today, my thoughts wander toward expanding creative horizons.

Exploring tools like Substack, Medium, and Ko-fi feels like traversing an endless labyrinth. Each platform offers a new opportunity, but also new complications. Financial barriers, geographic restrictions, and technical limitations raise an uncomfortable question:

Are these tools bridges to creativity or barriers to access?

Similarly, the challenge of converting text to video reveals a larger inequity:

• Why are tools for accessibility often behind paywalls?

• How can we make creative expression available to everyone?

Among these challenges emerges a spark of inspiration:

Visualizing emotions embedded in posts.

Imagine a tool that translates feelings into visuals, allowing readers to experience the depth of written words in a new dimension.

Could this project redefine how we communicate?

Rockefeller dreamed of a century of life and modest wealth but achieved more than he envisioned — just not in the way he expected. His story is a reminder:

Not all dreams come true as planned, but the pursuit shapes us nonetheless.

Reflective Space

• What creative ideas or ambitions are you holding onto for the future?

Write your reflections below:

Date: January 15, 2025

The day began unusually — a trip outside the city. Rare as it is, stepping away from the familiar revealed the world’s expanse. The phrase,

“I saw the world and showed myself,”

feels fitting, doesn’t it? It’s a strange satisfaction, fulfilling an unspoken social obligation, only to retreat back to the safety of home.

Night carries a duality — the justice of giving everyone equal darkness and the fear of the unknown. The absence of light isn’t just physical; it’s an emblem of uncertainty.

"We complain about life, yet we hesitate to shape it. We drown in doubts, fearing both the unknown and its answers."

This tug-of-war with fear defines much of human existence. We yearn for control but shrink from the risks it entails.

Chasing dreams without clear paths or timelines is both liberating and overwhelming. It’s the cost of “living by your own rules.”

But what happens when that freedom becomes a source of fear? When the pursuit of self-definition feels like a relentless race?

Life doesn’t owe us clarity. It offers moments — fleeting but powerful — to shape our journey.

Honesty with oneself is perhaps the hardest battle.

Rereading these entries reveals contradictions — noble intentions buried under layers of rushed ambitions and fears.

Am I a hypocrite for realizing this? Or am I human for trying to reconcile it?

"Fear has always been my shadow — of the future, of failure, of being forgotten. But does that mean the pursuit is worthless?"

No, because life offers one fleeting chance to leave a mark. Even if it’s faint, even if it’s fleeting, it’s worth trying.

Today isn’t just about actions but introspection. The cascade of self-deception can be overwhelming, yet in examining it, clarity might emerge.

Night veils the unknown, but it also presents the opportunity to face it — not with certainty, but with courage.

Reflective Space

Imagine leaving a mark on the world. What would that look like for you?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 16, 2025

The evening finds me reflecting on a whirlwind of a day. From routine tasks of publishing and organizing to moments of self-appreciation — today was a mosaic of small victories and lingering doubts.

I got my hair cut today. A seemingly trivial act, yet it transformed my self-esteem, propelling it to cosmic levels.

"Sometimes, you need to praise yourself. Without it, life becomes meaningless."

This simple truth underscores the importance of pausing to celebrate the small wins. Whether it’s a haircut or completing a routine task, acknowledging these moments keeps the weight of existence at bay.

Time slips away unnoticed, and with it, so do opportunities. The internet, a double-edged sword, holds potential to guide us or ensnare us in cycles of wasted hours.

I wonder:

"Is it possible to strike a balance between leveraging tools for growth and avoiding the traps of distraction?"

The desire to elevate this diary beyond mere words is strong. To turn it into something visually adapted and accessible feels like a noble ambition. Yet, every aspiration seems to crash against the barriers of resources and societal indifference.

In a world that prides itself on inclusivity, it’s disheartening to face systemic obstacles that stifle creative efforts. Criticism often feels like rejection, not advice.

"Society, so proud of its inclusivity, rarely offers a hand to those seeking to create something meaningful."

Amidst these challenges, the idea of compiling 31 entries into a cohesive collection offers hope. But even this ambition feels daunting. Navigating this task without full sight turns every step into a mountain to climb.

As night falls, a haunting question lingers:

"Am I truly escaping depression, or have I simply convinced myself of progress?"

The absence of affirmation — no external validation or support — makes it hard to discern whether I’m on the right path. The world feels indifferent, and I struggle to find the light worth pursuing.

Yet, there is strength in acknowledging this uncertainty. Perhaps, in grappling with these questions, lies the essence of human existence.

Reflective Space

What small victories have recently boosted your sense of self-worth?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: 17 January 2025

"I give up."

How often do these words find their way into our thoughts? They feel so simple, yet they carry the weight of surrender and frustration.

"Why do people give up so easily? Why do we abandon belief in ourselves and let societal norms dictate our paths?"

Today, I grappled with this question. It’s not uncommon to see people around me express resignation — a desire to drop everything, claiming their efforts are futile. But when did we lose trust in our instincts? When did we start prioritizing conformity over passion?

Imagine, if money weren’t the central force in our lives, how much freer we might be. People wouldn’t chase views or likes; they’d simply do what they love, not recklessly, but with a conscious awareness of society and their place within it.

It’s a utopian dream, perhaps, but isn’t it better to believe in utopia than to be consumed by the harshness of reality?

Today revealed another stark truth: creativity often comes with a price tag.

A friend and I explored AI tools to create short animated films. It was an exciting idea — a way to experiment and connect with others through Shorts. But our enthusiasm hit a wall when we discovered the costs involved: $70 per month for access.

"How does one balance moral principles with the harsh realities of survival in a world where everything is monetized?"

On an income of $60, pursuing a creative passion becomes an impossible dream. The gap between vision and execution grows wider, leaving little room for those who lack financial means but not imagination.Amid these frustrations, a glimmer of hope appeared. Slowly but surely, I’ve begun to connect with others on Medium. Whether it’s you, dear diary, or some spark in my writing, I’ve started to feel supported.

Some have even expressed optimism, telling me that recognition awaits me. While flattering, I know all too well how fleeting popularity can be. I’ve had thousands of subscribers on other platforms before, only to see engagement wane into indifference.

Still, there’s something different about this community. They listen, they respond — even if dreams remain just that, dreams.

As evening settles, the familiar sounds of the city envelop me: sirens wail in the distance, dogs bark at unseen threats, and streets lie deserted under a veil of quiet despair. The headlights of passing cars briefly illuminate the dark, but never fully dispel it.

"Humans fear the unknown. We find comfort in certainty, even when it binds us. But what if the best things lie beyond the fear of the new?"

As sleep approaches, a nagging sensation lingers. Something feels incomplete, as though an important piece is missing but remains just out of reach.

But tomorrow is another day. A day where everything can change.

Reflective Space

What passions would you pursue if money weren’t a factor?

Write your reflections below:

Date: 18 January 2025

Good morning, diary! Today marks our 15th entry, a small milestone in this ongoing journey. Days blend into each other, slipping by unnoticed. How often do we stop to realize their passing?

“Diary, remind me if I’m repeating myself. Or is repetition just another way of solidifying thoughts?”

The world loves to talk about grand ambitions, but actions often fall short. It’s easier to speak of reaching for the stars than to take the steps to touch them. Still, this gap between words and actions is where our aspirations live — a space that demands persistence.

Today, I took a significant step forward: I began writing a book. Unlike many, I’m not chasing fantastical worlds or epic sagas. Instead, this will be a philosophical exploration through fiction.

“How can we navigate life’s mysteries without falling into the trap of creating answers that only pacify us?”

The idea of publishing it in parts is enticing. Platforms like Medium offer visibility, but does that align with the vision for the book? Should it be shared piece by piece, allowing readers to grow with it? Or kept as a whole, revealed only when it’s fully formed?

Statistics dominate our perception of success. They tell us who’s paying attention — but not why. While numbers matter, the act of writing itself carries its own intrinsic value.

I’ve also faced limitations: Ukraine isn’t supported by Medium’s Partner Program. It’s frustrating, but it’s a reminder that creativity often flourishes despite barriers, not because of their absence.

We’re writing not for monetary gain but for the connection and impact words can have. This realization keeps me grounded.

Another thought today: Should each diary entry have a unique title, reflecting its personality and theme? Titles give identity and direction — a lens through which the content is viewed. A title can guide a reader’s understanding even before the first word is read.

“What would today’s title be? Perhaps something about embracing reflection while laying the groundwork for creation.”

Today was more about thinking than doing, a reminder that periods of reflection are as vital as those of action. The mysteries of the world invite us to pause, question, and explore:

• How do we define progress in creative endeavors?

• Is it better to create for an audience or for ourselves?

• When do we stop reflecting and begin acting?

As night falls, I realize the day was not wasted. The act of reflection is itself a form of forward motion.

Reflective Space

What barriers have shaped your path, and how have you adapted to them?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 19, 2025

Morning has arrived, bringing with it a cascade of thoughts and realizations. Reflecting on past entries, I notice an inconsistency — some days I write more, others less. It’s a curious observation, isn’t it?

“A diary isn’t about perfection; it’s about authenticity.”

Yet doubts linger. Could I have written more? Could I have conveyed my thoughts better? These questions tug at my sense of adequacy, nudging me toward the idea that perhaps doubt itself is a form of challenge — an internal dialogue urging us to grow.

Have you ever considered that doubt might be the essence of what some call “hell”? Not as punishment but as an open doorway filled with choices, each one revealing the core of who we are. Doubt doesn’t condemn; it forces us to decide.

But who am I to ponder such weighty concepts? Just a person, sharing musings with an abstract diary. And yet, even simple reflections can illuminate unexpected truths.

Today brought great news: 50 subscribers! Yet, the excitement is shadowed by an inner longing for more.

“Why does 50 feel insufficient when it once felt like a dream?”

Perhaps it’s the human condition to always want more. Still, the puzzling stats raise questions: why don’t 50 subscribers equal 50 readers? Is it a misunderstanding of the system or a reflection of human habits?

We aren’t meant to know every answer. That mystery is part of what makes life both frustrating and beautiful.

The brevity of my recent entries might seem like a flaw, but perhaps it’s a reflection of life’s rhythm. People crave stories with neat endings, but life rarely offers such clarity. Writing in real time means embracing the uncertainty of what comes next.

As the day winds down, I prepare to greet tomorrow with renewed energy, leaving these musings to settle into their place.

Reflective Space

How do you navigate doubts in your daily life?

Write your reflections below:

Date: January 20, 2025

Sundays seem designed for stillness. The chill in the air, the distant bark of a dog—it all paints a picture of quiet inertia. It’s the kind of day that pulls you out of the warmth of dreams and into the cold reality, leaving you feeling… tired, even when you’re not.

“Perhaps Sundays exist for surrendering to idleness, for letting go of plans and expectations.”

No accomplishments. No grand ideas. Just moments of simple indulgence: a favorite YouTube series, a bowl of candy, and the peaceful aimlessness that follows.

The show I’ve been watching, perfectly captures this vibe. On the surface, it’s another quirky series, but its charm lies in the exaggerated characters and fantastical take on science. It feels like Tesla himself was invited to a rave, creating inventions with reckless abandon.

“Sometimes, even mystified science can be a form of art—a spark that ignites wonder in the mundane.”

It’s a reminder that stories, no matter how exaggerated or whimsical, can resonate deeply when they evoke curiosity.

Tomorrow, the rhythm changes. I’ll step back into the cycle of hospital visits—treatments, confirmations, bureaucracy. The stark reality: even blindness requires proof.

This speaks to the larger distrust in society. Systems built to help often assume deceit, forcing individuals to repeatedly justify their existence. It’s an exhausting irony.

“In a world where truth is questioned at every step, even the obvious must be defended.”

But today isn’t about frustrations or the weight of societal norms. Today is about pause, about letting the stillness of a cold Sunday fill the spaces where ambition usually resides. Because tomorrow, the journey continues—with new challenges, new possibilities, and perhaps even new clarity.

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Reflective Space

How do you allow yourself to rest without guilt?

Write your reflections below:

Date: 21 January 2025

There’s a peculiar heaviness in wanting something without the spark to make it real. Today, it’s Twine, a storytelling tool. The possibilities excite me, but no ideas come.

“Like a dog barking at the moon, all I have is the want — loud, persistent, but hollow.”

Is this creative block a call to pause, to reflect? Or is it just another bump in the road? I can’t tell, Diary. What I know is that literature, much like life, mirrors my moods — a cascade of highs and lows, joy and frustration.

Maybe keeping a diary makes me more aware of this pattern, more attuned to how fleeting each state is. Perhaps one day, these entries will help someone understand the ebb and flow of human emotion.

Today is yet another hospital day. Here, health isn’t the focus; paperwork is. The system is so entrenched in its inefficiencies that people hesitate to seek care until it’s nearly too late.

“Here, treatment is secondary to bureaucracy. A patient must wade through forms, queues, and a relentless tide of inefficiency.”

I wonder if other countries have it better or if this is a universal truth. It’s disheartening, but as they say: we live as we live.

Publishing on Medium comes with its quirks. Today, I noticed that titles and subtitles appear differently once submitted.

“What kind of Hogwarts-level magic is this? On my end, everything looks perfect. After submission? Chaos!”

Still, the posts were accepted, so perhaps there’s no point in dwelling on it. But isn’t it fascinating how even small technological inconsistencies can nudge our sense of control?

Despite these frustrations, I find comfort in the platform itself. There’s something uniquely cozy about connecting with people here. Yet, I can’t ignore the thought:

“Our attachment to places can become a sentence for our potential future.”

Does staying here mean limiting myself? Or is it a foundation to build upon? These are the questions that linger as the day folds into night.

Reflective Space

In what ways can creativity thrive within constraints?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 22, 2025

Alarms are the bane of existence. They symbolize the rigidity of life, the artificial structure imposed upon us. A life where we’re told when to wake, when to act, and when to rest — without ever asking what we want.

“Why can’t we just wake when we’re ready, without the cruel interruption of alarms?”

But here I am, stuck in a world far from utopian ideals, wandering through hospital hallways. Every visit feels like chasing a mirage of help that never quite materializes.

The power outages add an almost theatrical touch of despair. Living like a goblin, I joke, but the reality isn’t far from it. Darkness, sirens, and distant explosions — a grim symphony of life in Ukraine.

The doctor’s words were bittersweet: my vision holds steady at 0.1, a fragile thread. Praised for maintaining remission, yet reminded of life’s impermanence.

“Tomorrow, the light could fade for anyone.”

This stark reality looms over me, casting a shadow on the comfort of stability. It’s a reminder that even the most resilient of us are not immune to life’s unpredictability.

The nearing milestone of 21 days with you, Diary, should bring joy. Instead, it feels overshadowed by bureaucratic distractions. Paperwork piles up, consuming time that could’ve been spent creating, thinking, or simply being.

VLK, the system that determines fitness for war, looms ahead. A blind person’s absurdity within it only deepens the frustration.

“Do you think a blind person can fight? You think not? Let’s see what the doctors decide.”

The absurdity of life reflects in this process. Yet, it is within this absurdity that I find questions worth exploring.

My thoughts are fewer lately, as if disconnected from some grand information channel. Without it, I drift aimlessly, navigating the currents of time.

But perhaps this emptiness is fertile ground. A space to pause, to let the mind recalibrate. Sometimes, drifting is not a loss but a way to rediscover direction.

Reflective Space

Have you ever felt disconnected, drifting through time? What helped you find your way again?

Write your thoughts below:

Date: January 23, 2025

I’m starting this entry at night, surrounded by complete darkness. It’s a fitting metaphor for how I feel — searching for clarity, only to find more questions instead.

Today was supposed to be a productive step forward: a trip to the military recruitment office for a referral to the VLK. Instead, I encountered another obstacle. The electronic queue had no available slots.

“Excuse me, but when will there be?”

Deadlines are pressing, but it seems the system prefers chaos over proper organization.

From the very start, I had this uneasy feeling that today would throw me a challenge I couldn’t quite handle. As usual, my instincts weren’t wrong.

But I’ve grown used to it, Diary. Perhaps too used to disappointment.

Yet today wasn’t without its glimmers of purpose. For the first time in a while, I turned my thoughts back to the Theory of Significance. I’ve neglected it, convincing myself I need experts—economists, political scientists—to make it perfect.

But even Marx didn’t achieve perfection. His work was also about significance in its way, aiming to give people a reason to understand their existence. And yet, his focus was economics.

What kind of economy matters if humanity ceases to exist?

We place value on trivialities while ignoring the very real, looming threats to our planet.

For instance, global warming is no longer a theory but a reality. Yet society continues to look away, consumed by distractions that offer fleeting significance.

“There will be no tomorrow if we neglect today.”

This thought motivated me to write a manifesto. It feels bold, unique — a piece of work where my neurons scream, “This is it!”

But now comes the question: what do I do with it? How do I share it with the world?

Perhaps Substack will be its home, with mentions on Ko-fi and Medium to draw in readers. The challenge, though, lies in figuring out how to navigate these platforms. Substack’s Stripe connection issue feels like yet another hurdle.

But money isn’t the main goal, right? The core purpose is to share ideas and maybe, just maybe, inspire change.

Despite the day’s frustrations, my mood took an unexpected turn for the better. It’s almost humorous how these shifts happen, Diary.

“Don’t mind me! The important thing is that it’s positive.” As I edit this entry at nearly midnight, I realize how much time I pour into you, dear Diary. But that’s okay — tomorrow will bring its own challenges and opportunities, and I’ll be ready.

Reflective Space

What does “significance” mean in your life? How do you define it for yourself?

Write your reflections below:

Hello, Diary!

Entry 21: 24–25.01.2025

Good morning, Diary!

Although, truth be told, it’s already midday, and I’m just now starting this entry. But let’s pretend, dear Diary, that the morning sun has only just spread its rays across our fragile Earth.

This entry marks the conclusion of the first collection of diary entries. It took a long time to fill you, to make you meaningful, fresh, and, perhaps, even a little revolutionary.

I’m not stopping, Diary. I’ll keep living and writing in you, but the 21st entry needs to be something special… something different. And so, it will be brief, fragmented, like a half-whispered thought.

Everyone who sought answers has likely found them by now. It’s time to take a break, to pause, so that tomorrow, with renewed strength, we can wake up to a brand-new day!

Thank you for being with me on this journey, Diary. Until the next page…

Afterword: The End Is Just the Beginning

You’ve reached the final page of this diary. Congratulations.

You’ve traveled a long road through entries that began as fleeting thoughts, scattered blogs, and raw reflections. But here, on these pages, they’ve become something more—a work of art, an expression of honesty, a glimpse into the chaos and beauty of existence.

Perhaps as you read, you noticed something: there’s no grand conclusion, no neatly tied bow to wrap up this journey. And that’s the point. Life doesn’t end with answers; it unfolds through questions, through the courage to ask and the willingness to explore.

If this diary has resonated with you, then know this: you, too, have the potential to create something unique. You don’t need perfection, logic, or permission. You need only your voice and the courage to use it.

This diary wasn’t written for fame or fortune. It exists simply because it needed to. I don’t charge for this book, and I don’t ask for anything in return. But if you’ve found value here and feel inspired to support my work, you’re welcome to do so on Ko-fi. Your support, whether through kind words, shared thoughts, or contributions, is deeply appreciated.

And so, dear reader, the diary closes for now. But its essence—of seeking, questioning, and creating—lives on. Perhaps in your mind, or even your own story yet to be written.

The end of this book is not the end of the journey. It’s just another beginning.

Thank you for walking this path with me.